


Loser || BIGBANG fanfiction *undergoing editing 2/23*

by MoMyMiddleName



Series: Loser || BIGBANG [1]
Category: Big Bang (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alcohol, Courage, F/M, Family, Friendship, Love, Money, Non-Graphic Violence, Past, Seoul, Strength, Struggle, Suffering, Youth, faith - Freeform, loser
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-09-18 14:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 55,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9388826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoMyMiddleName/pseuds/MoMyMiddleName
Summary: One is afraid of himself. One is afraid of others. One is frustrated. One is isolated. One is heartbroken.All of five, lonely.The story of a girl, who by sheer coincidence meets five different boys, with five different problems, at five different places in the space of four days. Will her fearless, naïve, curious and cheerful persona be able to help them clean up the mess they have made of themselves?BIGBANG fan fiction based on the Loser music video and the individual clips released on the BIGBANG YouTube channel.Dedicated to my friend Emilie, who helped me through the whole writing process.





	1. Bloodstains and Bathrobes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi, I'm running this through some editing because I wrote this a long time ago and my pride can't take the awkward short sentences I had so many of before. I'm currently doing my best to make the story more lively as well as changing the whole thing from past to present tense which takes a while.
> 
> Thanks for reading Loser :) xx

It has only been a couple of weeks since I moved to Seoul from Edinburgh, where I lived with my Scottish father and Korean mother since birth. After I finished college, I felt sick and tired of school, so I asked my mother to pull some strings and see if she could get me a job in Korea. I was lucky enough to get a job in my aunt and uncle's area. It was my aunt, who got me the job. As soon as they heard that I considered going, they immediately offered me to stay with them. Their oldest has moved out, so they have a spare room for me to use.

I work at an office as a cleaning lady. It is not a job of prestige but I enjoy it. It is also surprisingly well paid for, considering what the job is, and since I do not have to pay rent or food I feel small-scale rich, especially for a person my age. I work in a unit of three people. Amber Liu is, like myself, from elsewhere and has come to work and to try something else. She is from America, with Taiwanese roots. Then there is the Korean computer nerd; Lee Hyunwoo.

The three of us find it an easy task to keep ourselves entertained at work. Teaching Hyunwoo English dirty words has become a regular thing and dancing to loud music is also not rare when we are doing our early morning shift. We have even had a few attempts at SHINee's "Dream Girl" choreography with mops,  _oh the horror_.

I down my food at light speed, put the plate in the dishwasher, say thank you and nod respectfully at my aunt and uncle before hurrying out the door to my job, that I am running late for. My intense speed-walk pays off as I push open the back door and look at the clock on the wall; 5.28am. A sigh of relief escapes my dry lips.  _I made it_. I am the last one there for once.

"There you are! How come you are so late? You're usually the first one here," Hyunwoo asks.

"Breakfast was ready a little later than expected," I say as I pull my jacket off.

We have gotten into a decent routine by now, so we finish 15 minutes early, even with another quick go at the Dream Girl choreo.  _We should have learnt from our mistakes..._  We do a round of high-fives for effort and then the only thing left is the garbage.

"I'll deal with that on my way out." I smile at the two and throw the big bags over my shoulders. They hold the door open for me and we say our quick goodbyes before heading in different directions. I turn the corner to the kind of creepy alley where the garbage containers stand and make the place look even shadier. I open and close the lid, attempting minimal contact with the smelly container.

Just as I close the lid, I spot someone walking in my directions in the other end of the alleyway. His walk hard to describe as anything but is zombie-like and it looks as if he is wearing a bathrobe. From where I am standing his face looks pale and completely blank. He puts his arms out, as you do when you are a kid pretending to be an aeroplane. Without much thought or fear, I approach him. As I come closer, the blood on his clothes and face become visible to me. It makes me stop in my tracks for a second. I hesitate but I know myself well and leaving this guy alone without asking if he is okay, is not going to happen. At this point, I don't know better than to think it is his own blood.

"Are you okay?" I ask him from a reasonable distance. He turns his head and it seems he has only just noticed me now. For a moment he stares at me with the spark in his eyes completely lost. I spot a few tears forming in his eyes as he dumps down on his knees and puts his face in his hands. I hurry to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. The tears drip from his fingers and down onto the pavement. I decide that the best thing would be not to ask him about it right now.

I find a tissue in my backpack. Without any water nearby, I lick the tissue a tiny bit and figure his tears will do the rest of the work. "Look up," I instruct the crying man in front of me. His obedience towards me is a bit of a surprise. I gently rub the tissue on the red spots on his cheeks. Without the blood, he does not look as scary, just sad, just broken.

"Thank you." His voice is shaky and he sounds like he needs to blow his nose after all the crying. I hand him another tissue.

"It's no problem." I send him my most harmless smile and he blows his nose and throws the paper on the ground. It bothers me a little bit but I didn't say anything.

_Littering is not something this man would care about right now, Fae. Keep it inside of you._

"Do you live close by?" I ask him, still trying to get the last bit of blood off his face. He nods. "I'll follow you home then." I stand up and throw out the tissue in one of the containers. He stays on his knees. "You coming?" He looks lost and I figure that maybe home is exactly the place he doesn't want to be right now.

_Where do I take him? I can't just let him be, and I can't take him to my aunt and uncles place, they'll have a fit... If they're home..._

I look at my watch. They should both be at work. I stretched my hand out for him to take. "Come with me. I'm taking you to my place." He looks up at me with the same lost expression from before. He takes my hand and lets me lead him away from the dark alley. There is still blood on his bathrobe, so I stop to think for a moment. "Turn it inside out." He knows what I mean and he does as told. I grab his hand once again and hurry home. He follows me into the bathroom where I tell him to strip down to his underwear. He looks at me with a confusion and a little panic.

"Why?"

"I'm washing your bloody clothes, and I need to see the wound." He turns stiff. "Is that not okay? It's probably not so good to walk around with a wound that has spilt that much blood all over the place. It was even on your face."

"There is no wound."

"What, you're telling me it was from a nosebleed?"

"No. It's... It's not mine." My eyes widen. A spark of fear lights inside of me. The thought has not crossed my mind for even a moment. "D-don't be scared of me please." He looks so desperate and my soft heart can't help but feel bad for him. I gulp.

"Give me your clothes. I'll wash them." He strips down to his underwear. I put it in a large bucket, and I start stepping in the now wet and soapy clothes. He sits down on the bathtub's edge and watches me go. "What's your name?" I ask him as I do a little turn around myself.

"Choi Seunghyun."

"Hello, Choi Seunghyun. I am Fae Hunter." I stick out my hand and he shakes it.

"If you would like it, my bathrobe is over there. You can borrow it while I do this." He nods thankfully and rushes over to get it. It is a little small for him but better than nothing. We stay silent until I conclude that his clothes are clean. "They should be all good now." I take it all out of the bucket and washed the soap out.

"Your name is not Korean. Are you from somewhere else?"

"My dad is from Scotland, but my mum is Korean. I've only just moved here. I'm staying with my aunt and uncle." He nods.

"You sound very Korean. I wouldn't have guessed if it wasn't for your name." He gives me a small smile. That is the first time I see Choi Seunghyun smile. He looks so sweet standing in my bathroom, only in underwear and my bathrobe, looking quite uncomfortable.

_I wonder what happened. Could he have...? No. It's probably something else._

His clothes are thin, so they dry quickly with a little help from a hairdryer that was lying around. There is no saving his slippers. They were not doing well after being worn outside and they are completely smashed by now.

"I think my cousin is home from school soon. No one can know I brought a stranger into the flat. They'll throw a fit. Let's go." Once again, I take his hand, and I lead him outside. I walk some random direction, not knowing where we are really going.

"Do you have a place to go?"

"Yes, but it's not very pleasant at the moment. I probably need to get back there soon."

"Oh, okay. Let me follow you to the door." He nods and leads the way. We walk for no more than 10 minutes before we stand in front of the door to a fancy-looking building, which quite shocks me due to the tragic state I found him in and the shabby clothes he wore.

"I live here." He awkwardly shifts the weight from the right foot to the left and back again.

"It was absolutely no problem. You can always come by if you're feeling troubled. Fae at your service." I bow and grin. He smiles, again not for long and not a big smile, but a small, vague one. "I'll see you again," I stat, clap his shoulder and turn around to walk home.

"I really hope so," I hear him say to himself. I don't think I was meant to hear it. It sounded desperate and unhappy. I promise myself to come see him soon again. I have a feeling he is very lonely.

_Diary entry July 12th, 2016 23:30 - Dear diary... I really hate that. Hold on a second while I think of something better ;)_

_Dear future Fae. That will have to do for now. Today's diary entry will have the title Bloodstains and Bathrobes. Here's why: I_ _met Choi Seunghyun today. When you see a man crying in the street you help, don't you? Even if he has blood all over him, right? I washed his clothes from the blood that wasn't his, he said. Oddly, I wasn't scared, I just felt endlessly bad for the man. I don't think you'll ever forget how sad those eyes were, so sad and so lonely. I could never be scared of someone that helpless and hopeless. When I said I would see him again he seemed hopeful. I'm determined to speak to him again. Gosh, I hope his mood lifts a little._ _I wonder, though, whose it was. The blood. I haven't made up my mind if I want to know or not. Goodnight future Fae._

_Diary note 01:00 - Choi Seunghyun and the blood is keeping me up. I can't help but think certain things. I'm currently trying to deny them and fall asleep._

_Days left in Korea: 332_


	2. Broken hearts and Bus rides

 

 

I don't have to work today, which is good since Seunghyun had me up all night trying to figure out what has happened to him.  _"No. It's... It's not mine."_  The sentence repeated itself over and over in my head all night. I slept in this morning. I finally decide it is time to get up from the comfort that my bed provides. I look at the little clock on my bedside table. It is almost 1 pm. No one is home, so I have some time to myself; something I have never minded.

"Food," I decide and walk into the kitchen. I pause in front of the fridge. Would Seunghyun want to eat lunch with me? Would he be home? Is it worth a shot? I decide not to. I should give him some space, and I did tell him to come to me if something is wrong. He knows where to find me. I open the fridge to find a food container with my name on it and a little heart. I open it. Breakfast.

"Yesss!" I exclaim victoriously to myself. I warm it up in a hurry. I go back to the fridge for some milk, not much is left. The fridge seems quite empty in general.

_I'll go grocery shopping later._

I eat the warm breakfast and watch some random TV, flicking through the channels. Daytime TV is always a bit boring. It is mainly reruns of old shows and documentaries about animals. The most frequent being sharks, penguins and the occasional sea turtle. I eventually get bored and go back up to my room to change out of my pyjamas. I jump into a pair of old blue jeans and an old Green Lantern t-shirt. The market I am planning on going to is not within walking distance, so I have to catch the bus.

The bus is almost empty when I enter. It is just me and a handful of other people. An older couple sitting close to the front, a mother and her two kids and a few people sitting alone, one of whom, a young man all the way at the back of the bus. He is restlessly tapping his leg and checking his phone every five seconds. I can feel his anxiety all the way from the front of the bus.

When the bus reaches my stop the man at the back also gets up and out of the bus. He walks quickly and determined towards the parking lot that I am supposed to walk across. I watch him as he stops by a lamppost and just waits. I keep my head on my own business and head to the market. I quickly find the things I need. There is not a lot on my list. Milk and a few other necessities. I could have gone to the supermarket too but the market is worth the trip. 

I cross the parking lot again on my way back when I spot the guy again. He is with a woman and in the middle of a heated argument. It looks as if she is just about to storm off, and, oh my, does she storm off.

"Just leave me alone," she yells and stomps away. The man yells at her to wait but she keeps walking straight, not sparing him one more glance. For a moment he stands very still before a sob leaves his mouth. Tears begin to fall and his face lands in his hands.

_My goodness. Two days in a row with crying men in the street. Would it be stupid to get involved in this too?_

"That looked dramatic. Can I help you with anything?" Because that is how stupid I am. His reaction is slow. He lifts his head and looks at me with little hope left in his eyes.

"Fix me." His eyes look as sad as Seunghyun's did in the alleyway yesterday. It is painful to look at as if some of his sadness transfers onto me with his piercing look.

"I'm willing to try." I flash him a small smile. "Where are you going now?"

"Home."

"By bus?"

"Yes."

"Me too. I think I saw you on the bus on the way here earlier. We can go together." He nods and we start walking towards the bus stop. Tears are still falling from his eyes as we walk in silence. I examine him. He looks fairly wealthy with his designer clothes and very luscious hair, unlike Seunghyun who looked just a tad like a tramp with his messy hair and bathrobe. I think it was just because I caught him at a bad time. From the look of the building he lives in, he too is not exactly poor either.

"I'm Fae Hunter by the way," I speak up. I am not the biggest fan of awkward silences nor of sad faces like his.

"Lee Seunghyun."

_That's funny._

"What do you do?" I ask him casually as we stand side by side at the bus stop.

"Live off my parent's money," he says with a look that tells me it is not as glamorous as it sounds.

"Oh. Okay. I clean," I say with a look that tells him it is not as shitty as it sounds. An almost mocking chuckle emerges from his mouth. "It's not that bad," I argue.

"If you say so." He looks straight ahead while speaking to me as if he is avoiding all eye contact. I look straight at him. He looks so broken. His eyes are puffy from crying and his lower lip is well chewed. I wonder if it is his doing, or hers. The bus stops in front of us and we land in two seats at the back. I turn to look at him again.

"You like to stare don't you?" He asks coldly. I nod without taking any offence. He probably has a tonne of feelings that need to get out somehow. "Why?"

"You're pretty," I say still not looking away. I like examining people's faces.

"You're weird." This time he actually looks at me as he speaks. I smile at him to show that it is more of a compliment than an insult to me. He looks away again. The conversation goes on like this for most of the bus ride.

"I'm getting off at the next stop. What about you?"

"I'll get off next too. It's only two stops too early." At this point in time, I have no idea that this is a big fat lie.

The stop is not far to my flat and soon we stand in front of my door. "I will see you around." I point at him with my finger and raise my eyebrows with as much intimidation as I can muster. He looks nervous but I soon find it hadn't been because of my stare but because of the words to come.

"Can I... Get your number, just in case you know." My expression softens and I chuckle.

"Of course you can." He gives me his phone and I add myself as Funky Fae. "Here you go." I wave goodbye to him before going inside. On my way up my phone buzzes.

_Unknown Number: Thank you._

I change the name to Lee Seunghyun.

_Funky Fae: No problem. I'm always here if you need anything._

_Lee Seunghyun: I'm glad I met you today._

"What a sweetheart." I sigh to myself as I enter the flat with all my groceries. "I'm home, and I have groceries," I say loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Oh, you are such a darling." My aunt comes to greet me with a kiss on the cheek. We go into the kitchen and put everything in the fridge before preparing some tea. We are the only ones home since my uncle has a long shift at the police station and my cousin is at a friend's house.

"I was wondering," I begin. "If a person is crying alone on the street somewhere... Would you approach them or would you ignore them?" I am still unsure if it is a dangerous thing I have gotten myself into... Twice.

"If they were all alone I would probably see if they were okay."

"What if they looked scary?"

"Hmm... It's hard to say if you aren't in the situation. I'd like to think I don't discriminate like that, but I think I might have hesitated a little more if he looked scary." I nod understandingly. At least I am not completely crazy for helping them out. "Why do you ask?"

"I thought I saw a man crying but he was just far away and doing something on his phone. Either way, it got me wondering." _What an excuse._

"Oh okay." She smiles.

_If she only knew._

_Diary entry July 13th, 2016 16:45 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Broken hearts and Bus rides. Here's why: I know it's odd writing a diary entry in the middle of the day, but the thing is... I just met Lee Seunghyun. I think him and his girlfriend just broke up. It seemed like it when the girl he was with shouted 'just leave me alone' and stormed off. He followed me home, which was nice. He has my number and he texted me 'thank you'. He was cute. His cold exterior was easy to see through. I am pretty boss at seeing through people, though. Those two years of phycology really paid off. Good afternoon future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 331_


	3. Battle scars and Backstories

"Thank you so much for dinner." I thanked my uncle who had made a fantastic dinner for us.

"You're very welcome. You two can go now if you want." He gestured at my cousin, who was getting impatient, and I.

"Thank you," we said together and hurried into the kitchen with our plates. I had promised him to play games with him when we had eaten. We got comfortable on the sofa, turning on his console. He wanted to play Mario Kart.

"It's on." I looked at him with competitive eyes.

"Noona we both know I'm going to win," he said to me turning his attention to the TV screen.

"We'll see about that." He played as Luigi and I played as Toad. He was in the lead in the beginning but I slowly caught up to him and stayed in front most of the last lap. "I WIN!" I threw my hands in the air and my cousin accused me of cheating. He was a pretty good loser though and just asked for a rematch instead of going all mad on me. He was 16 after all. He won the second match. We decided on one last match to determine the ultimate champion.

"When you've played this round could you be a darling and get some more coffee down at the convenience store. We're all out."

"Yes of course." I smiled and turned my attention back to the screen. It was a close and intense match, but I ended up losing.

"Will the winner be so kind and escort me to the convenience store," I asked him bowing down in a joking manner.

"Hmm." He pretended to think hard about it. "Okay. Just this once." We laughed as we went to put on our shoes and jackets. We joked around all the way to the convenience store. Some suspicious guys stood outside, so we shuffled inside quickly. A man exited as we entered and held the door for us. I thanked him with a smile. His long fringe covered his eyes. I wondered if he could even see it. He smiled back, so I guessed he could. We found the coffee before picking out sweets that we had gotten extra money for. We paid and turned to leave. Through the glass door, we could see the three boys from before as they were surrounding the fringe kid who held the door for us. He was lying bleeding on the ground. They kicked him several times. He tried fighting back, but they were too many.

"What do we do?" My cousin asked me. He was scared. I grabbed his arms and looked him in the eyes.

"Okay. Look here. We go out. You take the bag and run home. I stay and get help. You understand?" He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Will you be okay?"

"Of course... If all else fails I might pull out some old moves from when I did taekwondo." A failed attempt to make the mood lighter. I took his hand and opened the door. They didn't notice us. We kept close to the wall as we walked behind a car so we wouldn't be spotted. I told him to hurry home and be safe. Just as I was dialling the number for the police they ran off, leaving the fringe boy alone in the middle of the car park. I rushed to him.

"What the fuck just happened?" I helped him sit up and tested if his arms and legs were still able to move as they should.

"I'm used to it. I should be fine." Tears threatened to fall from his eyes that his hair no longer covered due to the way he had been shaken around. He lifted his head and held his nose that was bleeding. It revealed a horrible scar on his neck. I gasped. "It's nothing." He said and put on his scarf that he had lost during the fight. He was trying hard not to cry I could tell.

"Let me help." I pulled out some tissues. Thank god, I had done a refill after meeting Choi Seunghyun. I handed him one for his nose and used another one on his face where there was the most blood. He changed the tissue when it had sucked as much blood from his nose as it could.

"I'm Kang Daesung." He said suddenly, his voice a little weird because his nose was blocked with the tissue that was coloured a deep red by the blood.

"I'm Fae Hunter," I said as I helped him stand up. He had hurt his leg. I put his arm around my neck so he could use me as support.

"Foreigner." He pointed out.

"Yes, well half. My mum is Korean. My dad is Scottish... Where are we going?" I asked him to lead the way to wherever he lived.

"This way." He pointed and I started walking with him. My phone rang in my pocket so I picked it up quickly and told my aunt that I was fine. I was just helping the man they had beaten and that I would be home soon. I hung up and put my phone back in my pocket.

"Parents worrying?"

"My aunt and uncle actually. I live in Scotland originally. I just came here a few weeks ago for a year's break away from everything." He suddenly flinched. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Everything just hurts."

"Do you think you need to see a doctor?"

"No, nothing is broken or anything." I nodded. I wasn't going to push him if he felt it was unnecessary. We reached his flat, which seemed to be of a little less prestige than Choi Seunghyun's fancy flat building. I helped him up the stairs and into his flat. It was small and a little sad. It felt incomplete and broken.

"Do you want some ice on something?" I sat him down on his bed.

"That might be nice." I left the room to find some ice in his freezer and a towel to wrap it in. I came back and asked where he needed it. "My right hip is burning." He replied and I set the towel with ice, on the spot he pointed to. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. A smile seemed to creep onto his face.

"Did your hip scrape the ground?" He nodded still completely relaxed from the ice. "You should probably check it. Stuff like that can be pretty bad. It once happened to my knee and some of my skin that was scraped off had settled in between the material of my trousers. It was rather hideous." He made a disgusted face.

"Oh goodness. Ew. Did you really have to mention that?" I chuckled and apologised. "Can you help me look?" He asked me. I tensed a little, as I would have to pull down some of his underwear for me to see it. I agreed to help him because his state was what it was. I got a wet cloth and then I helped him get his trousers off first. I pulled down only the necessary amount of underwear. Luckily it was quite high up. Anything else would have been very awkward. I put the wet cloth on it and he flinched.

"Ah," he said. His face looked pained. Slowly he got used to the feeling and relaxed under the cold cloth. As I sat holding the ice on his hip many questions about what had happened raised in my head. What could this innocent looking guy with a fringe way too long for his own good possibly have done to make them that mad?

"Why did they beat you?"

"It's complicated."

_Let me be the judge of that. I would know._

"I have time."

"I'm an asshole."

"See not so hard."

"There's more to it."

"Is it okay to ask for the story?" He nodded hesitantly.

"I was in an accident a few years ago. A man had fallen off his motorcycle. It was dark so I didn't see him before I had driven over him." He paused for a second. "No one knows if he was already dead or if I caused it. I then hit the back of a taxi who had seen the man and dodged him. Since I had felt the bump I had quickly turned to the side so I could go out and see what happened, but I didn't see the car from the shock I was in. I called the police and after a few weeks, it was claimed an accident. Even so, I couldn't let it go. I felt guilty." His voice cracked and tears filled his eyes. He was still trying to hold them back. "Soon I started getting followed by them. They were the friends of the man on the motorcycle. Probably a gang since they're new people every time. I know them all pretty well now, though." The last sentence made a frown appear on my face. "Apparently, they didn't believe it was an accident. They beat me up. I thought that was enough for them but they kept coming back. They gave me this scar. He lifted his scarf and pointed to the huge scar on his neck. Then I met a girl. Beautiful... She gave me the scarf when she saw it. She made me feel happiness again. The men. They... Found her." The tears had been waiting so long to fall. Now they did. "They beat her. Threatened her to leave, so she did. I don't blame her. She left a letter by my door. I still have it. My depression got worse and I pushed every remaining person out of my life so they wouldn't have to experience what she did. I've lived alone and with as little contact with other people as possible. You have no idea how lonely I feel. I'm such a loser." The tears wouldn't stop. I let go of his hip and put my hands on his face, wiping away the tears.

"I'll be your friend. I'm not afraid," I said bravely as tears threatened to fall from my eyes as well. He looked up at me with a hint of hope in his eyes. I did my best to wipe away the tears that continued to fall from his innocent eyes. "It'll be okay. I think I can promise you this." A small smile showed on his lips.

"I... Thank you." He told me, shaking a little from the emotions he had let out to someone other than himself. "I cry a lot by myself. It's weird to cry in front of someone else." The last few tears fell down his cheeks and I wiped them away like the rest.

We exchanged phone numbers. The only other number he had on his phone was his mothers. He told me he would call her occasionally and make up some lie about doing well. My heart twitched as I heard these words. I guess he felt forced to do so, so his mother wouldn't worry. I felt determined to help him.

_You care too much about everyone else Fae. Don't forget yourself, but this one is too important. He needs your help._

He offered to walk me home, but I told him it was best for him to rest. I told him I would text him when I was home. He agreed to this solution.

"See you soon Kang Daesung," I promised him.

"See you." He smiled. The hope in his eyes motivated me.

I left the building and walked home. I had soon reached my house when I heard someone call my name. I turned to see who it was.

"Choi Seunghyun. Good to see you again." I smiled at him.

"Can I see you again soon?"

"I promised I'd come back didn't I? Tomorrow for breakfast, when I've been at work. Meet me at nine in front of your door." I smiled and he nodded happily.

"See you then." I hugged him. He was startled but hugged me back.

We said our goodbyes and I hurried home to reassure my aunt and uncle I was fine, then go to my room and call Daesung.

**Choi Seunghyun's POV**

"Goodbye. See you tomorrow aye?" She had said to me smiling after giving me a hug. It was so nice, comforting. My loneliness disappeared for a short moment.

_I really want to be closer to her, to be her friend, but what if it happens again? What if I lose control again? I cannot trust myself. Promise yourself to be more careful this time Seunghyun._

_You said the same thing last time..._

**Fae's POV**

"Yes, he is fine now as well. I made sure to follow him home since he had hurt his leg. I put ice on it and everything."

"You went into his flat?"

"Yes, of course, the poor man could barely walk." They paused but nodded understandingly. I excused myself and went into my room. I called Daesung. Instant answer.

"Hello," I heard him say as soon as he had picked up. He must have been desperate to talk to someone after being alone for so long. I chuckled to myself.

"Hey Daesung. I'm home now. I wanted to call instead of text you. I was wondering if the pain has eased."

"It has slightly. My head has started to hurt a little bit though. I took a couple of painkillers, so it should go away soon. Thanks for the concern. You have no idea how nice it is to talk to someone." The relief in his voice was so sweet. I couldn't help but smile. This was why I liked helping people.

"I want you to know that you can always call. I'll keep my phone close when I sleep as well so you can call me even at night... I'm always up for a chat."

"I'm very thankful for what you do for me since you only just met me."

"I'm very thankful that I did meet you, so you didn't have to walk around so lonely for longer." How I could care this much about a person I had just met was beyond me. I embraced it. "You should get some rest and let your body recover a bit."

"I will. Again thank you."

"I'm always happy to help. Goodnight Daesung. Call anytime."

"Goodnight Fae."

_Diary entry 13th July 2016 00:15 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Battle scars and Backtracking. Here's why: This is the second diary entry today. The reason is that I am currently drowning in a pool of young beautiful men's tears. That's right. I met another one. Daesung. The poor guy has stalkers, who are beating him up for something he didn't do on purpose many years ago. I helped him home and he told me his story. He had a huge scar on his neck. I gave him my number. The only other number on his phone was his mother's, who he calls once in a while to tell her how good he is doing. I feel bad he has to lie to her. I will make it my mission to get him to meet his mother again and tell her the truth. First I need to get rid of his bullies. I have no idea how. Why do I have to be such a good human being? Please tell me. Goodnight future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 331_


	4. Breakfast and Bystanders

“Good morning.” Hyunwoo entered the supply room.

“Morning,” I beamed at him.

“Guys…”

“What’s up?” They asked while scrubbing the floor.

“These past two days I’ve run into crying dudes on the street three times. I helped them and I felt like it was the right thing to do. Now I’m thinking that I might have brought myself into three weird ass, some even dangerous, situations. I keep in contact with all three of them. Is that incredibly stupid of me?”

“What the actual fuck. Three guys? They have nothing to do with each other?” Amber furrowed her eyebrows, finding my story hard to believe. Woohyun smiled in amazement.

“I pretty sure they know nothing about each other’s existence. They all have it pretty rough, though.”

“You’re insane Fae,” Hyunwoo said, chuckling in disbelief. “This could be dangerous for you.”

“They were all so nice, though,” I argued.

“This is a nice place,” Seunghyun said to me as we sat drinking coffee outside a little café that my uncle had taken me to one of the first days I was here. I smiled at him.

“How have you been?” I asked him, still concerned about how unhappy he looked when I had said goodbye to him the day we first met.

“Better than when you found me.” The joke seemed half-hearted and his expression wasn’t exactly bright nor was his tone.

“That’s at least something,” I joked along giving him a bright smile. “I met two guys yesterday…” I started hesitantly. “Two different places. Like you, they were crying when I met them, or close to. I helped them, but I think I might have put myself in danger.” I needed some advice, even though I probably would continue to help them even if I was told it was a bad idea.

“That’s odd,” he stated, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I don’t understand how this could happen. It’s the weirdest coincidence.” He nodded along. “I’m glad to help and all but I’m afraid it’s going to get me in some serious trouble. I feel safe with you, though.” He instantly looked nervous.

_I wonder what he’s thinking._

He opened his mouth to speak when something happened. “WATCH OUT!” A woman had yelled from across the road. We immediately turned our heads. A man was lying in the middle of the road. He looked an awful lot like the rapper G-Dragon, or Kwon Jiyong.

“Oh my goodness.” I stood up immediately and ran to the man on the ground. Seunghyun followed. We carried him onto the pavement, away from the cars. “Are you okay sir?” It was definitely him. He had black lines under his eyes that looked bloodshot. He seemed sleep deprived and maybe on something. I guessed both. He had a few tattoos the first one I noticed was a noose that he had on each side of his face. Then the ‘truth+dare’ tattoo on his neck

“I’m fine.” His voice was cold as ice.

_Oh man. Four in three days. I must be cursed._

Some people yelled at Jiyong who was now sitting up on the pavement. I gave Seunghyun a look that let him know that the one thing I did not want to deal with at that moment was angry, stuck up people. He patted me on the back reassuringly and went to speak to them. I turned my attention back to Jiyong.

“Why were you lying on the road?”

“I don’t know.” His tone made him seem hopeless, upgiving.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Were you at all hit?”

“I’m sure. The car dodged me.” He continued speaking a monotone voice.

“I think there are some people over there who are pretty mad at you.” I gestured towards the people that Seunghyun was now talking to.

“Well, they can suck it.”

_Wow okay… He’s going to be a tough one._

“Yeah okay…” I trailed off.

“Why are you here?”

“To help you.”

“Why would you help me?”

“Because that’s apparently what I do these days.” He looked confused. He didn’t know and I really didn’t feel like explaining. Seunghyun came back.

“I’m told the police are on their way," he informed us, raising his eyebrows, letting me know those people were as crazy as we had all guessed. Jiyong still seemed to give zero fucks.

“I’ll stay here and sort things out if you want to go,” I told Seunghyun. He told me he didn’t mind staying. So there we were. The three of us, sitting up against the wall waiting for the police.

“You rap,” I said breaking the long silence.

“I do,” he replied.

“You’re good.”

“I know.” Seunghyun snorted at Jiyong’s words. Jiyong gave him a serious death stare. Seunghyun tried holding back a smile. I couldn’t help but find it a little funny. The police car came into view. I sighed. My mind was not ready for this. The police car stopped and two police officers came out. One of them, my uncle. He spotted me instantly.

_Well... Fuck me._

He turned around like he hadn’t noticed me and spoke to the angry car owners.

“Fuck that’s my uncle.” I put my head in hands. “Seriously, why him of all people?”

“The police officer is your uncle?” Seunghyun asked surprised. Jiyong seemed to be giving even less fucks than he did before. I nodded in fear and kept looking straight, not really focusing on anything. The people from the car were now pointing at us and both police officers turned to look. He looked me straight in the eyes again and walked towards us while the other one stayed with the people from the car.

“Is it correct that you were lying down in the middle of the road?” He asked Jiyong, who was looking up at my uncle.

“Yes, that is correct.” He spoke as if he had tried this before.

_I wouldn’t be surprised._

“Was this by accident or own will?”

“Own will… But I think I’m mentally unstable so I’m not sure if it counts.” The second part of that sentence shocked me a little bit, but if I had to be honest, it would make sense. The talk continued for a while. At some point, the other officer came over and asked us what we had seen. In the end, Jiyong was let go with a smaller fine since no one was hurt and the car didn’t seem to be damaged other than a scratch and my uncle explained to Jiyong that they couldn’t demand him paying for. I just thanked god they didn't drug test him because I had a feeling they would have found something.

“Should I drive you home Fae?” This was the first time that he addressed me like he knew me beforehand.

“I’ll be fine. I have my friend here.” I pointed to Seunghyun. My uncle scanned him. He didn’t seem to be too fond of the idea but let it go. He knew it wasn’t any of his business who I did and did not befriend. The police drove away and so did the angry fuckers who couldn’t seem to let it go, even though the police had told them it wasn’t Jiyong’s responsibility to pay for their scratch.

“Wow, they had their royal fingers way too far up their own arses,” I commented as we walked down the street together with Jiyong, who had shown some friendliness after the police had left. They laughed and agreed. We went to Jiyong’s flat around the corner. I was quite amazed by how expensive everything looked. We looked around the place, fascinated with the stylish and retro furnishing. In the living room, I noticed a lamp with a broken glass screen.

“Did you know your lamp is broken?” I asked him with a dumbfounded expression, pointing at the lamp.

“Yeah. I did it myself.” He nodded and went up, behind the bar he had in one end of his living room.

“Constellation art. I see how it is,” I joked while looking through the rest of the rooms. He obviously had a shit tonne of aggressive feelings that he had let out on that lamp. He snorted and continued whatever he was doing behind the bar. Seunghyun stood by the window in the living room looking out at one of the more popular parts of Seoul. I stood by the lamp, giving it a good look.

_Frustrated, angry... Parties too much. He's lonely. The fame doesn't give him real friends, probably lots of sex. He's caught in a mess of parties, alcohol and maybe drugs. He said might be mentally unstable, which is probably some sort of true._

Jiyong came back, a glass of rum in his hand. I looked from him to the lamp and back at him.

"What's with the look?" He lifted one eyebrow.

"Nothing," I sent him a suspicious smile. “I should head home. My uncle is probably a little on edge.” I felt myself fearing the reaction I would get when coming home.

“I’ll follow you home,” Seunghyun said. “This was nice, though.”

“Thanks for letting us into your home. It's lovely here." I hugged him and exchanged numbers with him. "We'll keep in touch Kwon Jiyong." I grinned at him.

“Thank you for the help earlier," he replied still a little taken aback by the hug. Seunghyun nodded at him and we left his flat together.

“I swear I’m cursed,” I told Seunghyun, walking down the stairs. “Troubled, attractive young men is all I’m met with these days. What is happening?” I was losing my mind a little bit.

“It’s fucking weird,” he stated, laughing a little at my sanity slowly disappearing.

“I should call Daesung tonight before I sleep and I wonder if Seunghyun is alright… Oh goodness, all this responsibility all of a sudden.” I pulled at my hair in frustration.

“I’m fine right now…” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

“Lee Seunghyun. I met him yesterday. Glad you're okay too, though”

“Wow, a lot of people to take care of. You should start a support group,” he joked.

“To be honest that’s not even a bad idea. That way I can be there for all of you at the same time instead of this running back and forth. It would probably be good for all of you to meet some people too… Thanks for the idea. I’m going to think about it.” He laughed, seeing what he had said was clearly a joke.

When I came home, there was a weird atmosphere. I could feel it the second I stepped in. I just hoped to god it wasn’t trouble.

“Hello.” I nervously entered the living room. My aunt came and gave me a hug.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” I hugged her back, relieved that this was what I was met with and not a lecture about who I should and should not be friends with. “You just always seem to be at the wrong place the wrong time huh?” I nodded but really thought to myself that it might be the complete opposite. She let go of me and I excused myself to go to my room. I got out my phone and dialled Daesung’s number. It took a couple of rings this time.

“It’s so good to hear from you.” He sighed in relief. I smiled.

“You too. I worry about you. Nothing’s happened since yesterday?” I asked with worry in my voice.

“No. I’ve stayed home and taken care of myself.”

“Good to hear.” I told him about the other three boys I had met. He sounded impressed. I told him he could meet them if he wanted and maybe he could make friends other than me. He agreed hesitantly. I said we would figure something out soon. We said our goodbyes and hung up. I texted Seunghyun.

Fae: How are you doing?

Lee Seunghyun: Not well but it’s alright.

Fae: I’ll introduce you to some friends soon. I’ll update you when I know more. :)

Lee Seunghyun: Okay. Sounds nice. :)

I put down my phone and went to have a shower. I stood there thinking about home. I missed it a little, but with all the things that had been happening, I had almost completely forgotten about home. It was nice to be doing something for someone, but it was damn hard work for sure.

_Diary entry 14 th July 2016 22:45 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Breakfast and Bystanders. Here’s why: I was eating breakfast with Seunghyun (the first of the two). A man was lying on the road and was almost run over. So Fae… I found another one. His name is Jiyong, better known as G-Dragon. You’ve befriended a rapper gurl! Of course, with the luck I have, it was my uncle who came and questioned him. A little awkward, but I had expected a worse reaction. If I'm right, which we both know I usually am, this guy is drinking too much. I won't act upon it quite yet but I'll keep an eye out. I’m overwhelmed with beautiful men and tears. Good night future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 330_


	5. Bad manners and Beliefs

I threw out the big bags filled with rubbish and glanced over at the place where I had first seen Seunghyun and my series of weird encounters had started. I decided to go for a walk to do some contemplating. I walked in the opposite direction of my flat and ended up in a huge junkyard. Piles of metal were stacked around. There were huge piles of car lids and such around the place. I walked a little further, being almost dragged in by the strangely beautiful place and past a series of caravans. I looked to the other side where one was standing by itself. There was a dog strapped to it and there was writing all over the ground. My curiosity took over and I went to see what it said. The first thing to catch my attention was a cross. Inside the cross were the words ‘sin will find you’.

_Dark._

I patted the dog who seemed very friendly. There were other things on the ground like ‘it is what it is. I am what I am’ or ‘believe me’ I found myself to be completely lost in the writing. As I was reading I wondered who was responsible for these bleak although breathtaking words. The silence was broken abruptly by what sounded like light metal on asphalt. I turned and saw a can next to me. I looked up to see a man on top of the caravan, looking down at me. He was shirtless but wore a red jacket.

“What are you doing here?”

“Looking at the writing. It’s captivating.”

“Fuck off.”

“Did you write all this?” I ignored his last comment. He hesitated before answering.

“Yes.”

“It’s very cool. I like it. Do you live here?”

“I do.” My calm exterior took him aback. He had most likely expected a more hostile and negative approach seeing as he had already thrown a can at me and told me to fuck off.

“What did you do?”

“What?”

“Since you wrote all this something must have happened.”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Sorry. You’re right.” I smiled up at the man once again. “Are you religious?” I asked him gesturing towards the huge cross on the ground and the small wooden cross lying next to it.

“Yes… And no,” he replied coldly. He looked like he was thinking hard for a second before he jumped down from the caravan and walked to me. “Which one is your favourite?” He asked me standing a little closer than I felt comfortable.

“Whatever satisfies the soul is truth.” I pointed to it.

“Good choice,” he nodded and walked towards the big cross. “This is my favourite.” He stood right in the centre of it.

“That’s a good one too. It’s dark.” He nodded and sat down on it. “Why did you write it?”

“Because I understand it in a way that I didn’t earlier in my life.”

“Do you believe in a god?” I picked up the conversation that I had started before.

“I believe in sin,” he said short and sweet.

“Do you live by yourself?” He nodded. “Do you have friends?” He shook his head this time. His facial expression had gone dark again.

_Wrong question I guess._

“Touchy subject?”

“Just a little bit.” Sarcasm was dripping from each word as they exited his mouth.

“It’s nice here,” I complimented, looking around the messy yet kind of inviting place he was living in.

“It’s a junkyard.” His voice had gone cold again. He sat down on a wooden box.

“I think it’s nice anyways. It’s somehow cosy and creepy at the same time.” He snorted at this and fiddled with a spray can.

“Want some lunch? My treat.” He was taken aback by my suggestion.

He didn’t say anything, instead, he took my arm and lead me out of the junkyard. He led me to a burger place close by and pointed without a word. It was small and not too expensive but seemed to be of an alright quality. We sat down and ordered. He looked down at his hands, then up at me.

“You alright?”

“I’m hungry.” I could almost see it in his eyes. I wondered how much he ate normally. We sat in silence.

“How long has it been since you’ve talked to someone like this?”

“A long while. I’ve lived by myself for eight years.” He looked sad. The look in his eyes was heartbreaking. I put a hand on the table for him to take. Not out of pity, but comfort. He stared it down for a few seconds before he slowly put his hand in mine. Human contact didn’t seem to be his expertise. Soon the food came and he ate like there was no tomorrow. It was probably the first time in a while that he got a meal like this. Even so, he kept holding my hand. I smiled at him. I was halfway through mine when he had finished his. He had now started on the fries. I told him he could have mine as well. He would gladly take them.

“Mind if I ask why you’ve lived alone for so long?”

“My parents were drunks. They never spoke to me much. I ran away when I had enough. I found the caravan and stayed there. I found Light when he was a puppy. He was abandoned in the junkyard. That was six years ago. He’s my only friend.” He had suddenly opened up to me. I squeezed his hand.

“What’s your name?” I asked him as he was munching away on the fries.

“Dong Youngbae.” He paused the fry eating. “What about you?”

“I’m Fae Hunter.” He gave me a huge smile all of a sudden.

“I like your hand, Fae Hunter.” A cross between a chuckle and a giggle left my mouth.

“Thank you, Dong Youngbae. I like your hand too.” I sent him a warm smile. He went back to his fries. At this moment my phone rang.

“Hey, Daesung.”

“Hi. Can I see you soon?”

“Sure. Let’s meet tomorrow at six and have dinner… I picked another wreck up at the junkyard today. Five people in four days, I’m telling you.” Youngbae sent me a death stare at the word wreck. He flicked me off. I grinned. “I know a great place. I’ll come pick you up.”

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

“See you Daesung.” We hung up.

“What do you mean five people in four days?” He asked me looking wary. He had put his guard up again, yet still holding onto my hand.

“I met a few other guys just like I met you. You’re the fifth in four days. It’s strange.”

“Unlikely situation.” I nodded in agreement. “Is it burdensome?”

“Not too much. I like helping people, plus I have made some weird friends. I love weird.” He chuckled and ate his last fry.

“Can I follow you home?” He asked me, looking proud of himself.

“What a gentleman you are.”

“I’ve seen it in the movies. It seems to be the normal thing to do.” He said while we stood up and left the shop.

_Oh boy…_

_Diary entry July 15 th, 2016 23:00 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will be called Bad manners and Beliefs. Here’s why: Five dudes Fae. It’s insane. I love them all already but I hope to god there are no more of them. I will break down crying. This time it was Youngbae: A young, beautiful man living in a junkyard alone with his dog. He had a caravan there and he had decorated the place with quotes. He was very hostile towards me, to begin with, but softened up quickly which makes sense because he’s been alone for eight years. That is a long time. He told me the dog is his only friend. Fae you need to change that. From now on you have to make it your goal in life to make all of the five men happy. Make sure that happens before you move back to Scotland. Goodnight future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 329_


	6. Boneless Boys and Big flats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My updates aren't really regular because of school. I'm very busy at the moment but I do my best to keep these coming as well as writing one shots on the side. It's a little difficult but I'm managing and, hopefully, I'll get more time on my hands soon. Thanks for reading my fic. I appreciate yall! Enjoy the chapter xx

I had a few hours to kill before picking up Daesung and so I found myself at my desk, looking at the front screen of Youtube.

_It's been some week. I hope I can get a break now. Five is more than enough._

As I sat scrolling through my suggested feed, looking for something to mindlessly watch I kept thinking about the two Seunghyun's, Daesung, Jiyong and Youngbae. I wondered what I had changed for them. If I had let someone else take the trash out that day, if I had been too lazy to shop for groceries or even if I had gone just a round of Mario Kart earlier out to get that coffee. I liked to think that I had made their lives less gloomy. I liked to think they were happier now. At least some of them. Daesung certainly seemed happier than when I first met him. I sat thinking about these boys... or men and unexpectedly a tear rolled down my cheek. At this moment I realised how much I cared, how much of an impact they had on me. It had only been a few days since I had met Seunghyun in the alley. Even so, I felt that my life had turned upside down, somewhat for the better. I didn't quite understand it myself. All I knew was that I cared enough to cry. The tears kept falling. The only sound in the room was my tears hitting the wooden desk. A smile crept onto my face. A small chuckle left my mouth but was cut short by a sob taking over. I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears with the sleeves of my shirt. I looked at the clock on my computer. It was only four. I decided that I might as well meet up with Daesung earlier since I figured he probably wouldn't mind considering how eager he sounded over the phone. I put on my coat and shoes and said goodbye to my aunt and uncle. On the way out I texted Daesung. He replied with the happiest emoji he could possibly have found. I couldn't help but smile.

I arrived at his door and rang the doorbell. I leant against the wall and waited when he informed me he was on his way down.

"Daesung!" I hugged him tightly.

"Good to see you again." He hugged me back.

"It's a little early to eat... Should we find something to do?"

"Let's."

"How about meeting one of my friends?" He nodded eagerly. I decided to call Lee Seunghyun since I hadn't seen him since I met him. He nervously agreed to meet us. I grabbed a hold of Daesung's arm casually as we walked. He smiled down at me. I could see the happiness in his eyes through his fringe. He pushed it aside a little.

"Why is your fringe so long?"

"It hides the black eyes when I get them. I don't like looking scary because I really am not." These words saddened me. He was such a nice person, so gentle and so innocent.

"You're one of the softest, sweetest people I've met." He looked down at me in surprise with a smile on his face, bigger than usual. I gave his arm a gentle squeeze.

"So the guy we're meeting, which one is that?"

"He had his heart broken big time. I think the girl meant a lot to him."

We reached the square where we were supposed to meet. I looked around for Seunghyun and spotted him as he was already walking towards us. I went to give him a hug.

"Hey man! How are you holding up?"

"It's a little rough, but it's okay," he assured me with a smile.

"This is Daesung." I gestured towards Daesung, who had been awkwardly standing behind me.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Seunghyun." Seunghyun spoke politely and stuck his hand out for Daesung to shake. Daesung quickly took it and gave it an energetic shake.

"Hello." Daesung was shining with happiness.

"What should we do boys?" I asked them putting an arm over each of their shoulders. Seunghyun grabbed the hand that I had put on his shoulder and entwined his fingers with mine. I realised how much I had missed that feeling.

"Want to come see where I live? The view is incredible," Seunghyun suggested. We both nodded eagerly. He chuckled. "I've gotten my car back from my ex so I'll drive you," he said walking towards a really nice looking black car.

"This is your car?" I asked my mouth slightly open in awe. He chuckled once again as he opened the door to the driver's seat. I was lucky enough to get in the front seat while Daesung sat behind us. He was just as excited as I was about the expensive ass car.

"Wow." He looked around the car, caressing the black leather seats.

"If you don't mind me asking... Why exactly did you lend this out to your ex-girlfriend?" Daesung asked leaning forward, resting his arms on each of the front seats to take part in the conversation.

"She was borrowing it when she was with me. She told me it was for work but she was using it to meet up with her other boyfriends."

"Wow. This girl has no shame." A look of disgust appeared on my face and Daesung agreed with me.

"I loved her so much and she knew that. She knew she had the power over me and she used it. She even made it look like it was my fault she was cheating." I could tell he needed to vent. It seemed like it was the first time he had been able to talk to anyone about it.

"I know it's hard because you love her but it's really good that it's over," I reassured him when I saw tears had filled his eyes. "You've got us," I smiled. Daesung joined in on the smiling and nodded eagerly. Seunghyun couldn't help but smile as a tear fell down his cheek.

"Thank you." He paused. "I hear she picked you up from the street too," Seunghyun changed the subject.

"She did and thank god she did." His voice was filled with relief. "I say that for the other three too."

"Other three?"

"Oh, you don't know! You were only the second," I began and explained the whole deal again for the 100th time.

"Wow. That's insane."

"I'd say."

"So the first guy is called Seunghyun too? You can call me Seungri if you want to avoid confusion. It was a nickname given to me by my old group of friends that I sadly pushed out of my life for my, oh so lovely, girlfriend because she didn't trust them." He turned a corner aggressively. I grabbed my seat. "Sorry." I rubbed his shoulder in comfort.

"It's all good. Be careful, though... You good in the backseat Daesung?"

"I'm okay." He was still shining brightly.

"We're there soon," Seungri informed us as we were driving through the high end of Seoul. He drove into the parking basement of a tall building. We all got out, buzzing with excitement from the already rich looking building we were in. We stepped into an elevator and Seungri pressed the button that would send us to the 35th floor out of 35.

"Top floor, that's high," I said feeling impressed and to be honest a little bit nervous.

"You scared?" Seungri asked smirking.

"No no, just impressed."

"If you say so." I heard chuckles from both of the boys.

"Shut up." I tried to stay serious but failed. The elevator stopped and we stepped out into a long hall. We walked past door after door until we reached the last one. He unlocked it and opened up to what we found to be paradise. Both Daesung's and my own jaw fell as we stepped into the huge flat. There was high up from the floor to the ceiling. One wall entirely window. Designer furniture was everywhere. It looked like something out of a magazine you would find at the hairdressers but even better, even dreamier. Everything was clean and shiny. I looked over at Seungri, who seemed amused by our reactions.

"You live here?" I asked him. He nodded, still amused by us.

"Alone?" Daesung added looking around at the flat like Youngbae had looked at his burger. Once again Seungri nodded. I ran to the window, the nervous feeling from before completely disappearing. When he had said the view was good he sure had not been lying.

"Oh my lord it's pretty up here... Can I see the bathroom? I bet it's fucking luxurious, like in hotels!" I turned around looking for a door that could lead me to the bathroom. He pointed to a hallway past the kitchen. I walked there with fast steps. Daesung right behind me. There were four doors to choose from.

"Let's look behind all of them," Daesung suggested, jumping up and down.

"I'm just gonna make some tea while you two go crazy," Seungri chuckled continuously. He went into the kitchen and we entered the first room.

"OH MY GOOD LORD SEUNGRI YOUR CLOSET IS AS BIG AS MY HOUSE BACK IN SCOTLAND!" I yelled out as my eyes widened at the sight of the massive walk in closet. I could hear his laughter from the kitchen.

"I'm glad to hear you're enjoying yourselves." We hurried on to the next room. It was the bathroom.

"This place is unbelievable." Daesung's mouth hung open, looking around the bathroom just as big as the closet, if not bigger.

_Wow._

There even was a counter with flowers on and all sorts of fancy soaps that were lying neatly next to the expensive looking sink. I turned around to see a toilet that we rated to be more expensive than all of Scotland. The shower/bathtub was huge and had stone tiles up the wall where it was placed. Between the counter and the bath there was another door it was made of smoky glass, so you couldn't see through it. Our eyes met and the curiosity inside us could not be contained. We stumbled to the door and opened it up to find a large room with dark wooden floor boards. Towards the middle of the room, there were about two steps up that lead into a big arse hot tub. Our eyes met once again as our jaws dropped at the sight.

"I see you found the bathroom," Seungri's cocky voice became audible behind us. We spun around on our heels completely speechless. "Wanna see something cool?" We nodded eagerly. He walked past us and switched a contact on the wall. A buzzing noise accompanied what Seungri pointed up towards. We both looked up to see the roof disappearing slowly and the sky becoming visible. I looked over at Seungri who was smirking.

"You're such a rich kid," I said, still blown away by everything I had seen so far. When we were done obsessing over the secret hot tub room we went back in and inside door number three. This time Seungri went with us. He was having a laugh. This was a bedroom. It had a huge bed. Bigger than a normal king sized. It was almost as if it was made for a giant. It looked so inviting.

"Can we try it?" Seungri nodded. I slowly walked towards it and sat down on it. "Oh my god it's so soft." I threw my head back and let my body sink into the mattress. "I'm never leaving here Seungri." Daesung went to lie down on it too.

"This is what you call a bed. You're not getting rid of us." Daesung closed his eyes.

"This is just the guest room." his tone was teasing. With these words being said we hurried into the next room, which was revealed to be another bedroom. One side had a bed, also humongous. As we were looking at his bed Seungri walked in to open the sliding door that divided the room.

_My nerdy lord._

The other side of the room had an almost cinema sized TV and a huge retro leather sofa. Under the TV was a Blu-ray and every console you could dream of, old as well as new.

"Let me just..." Daesung began sounding like he was about done with everything. "So you own a hot tub, two beds as big as my flat and literally every console that exists on this planet." He looked at Seungri. Seungri nodded and Daesung shook his head in disbelief.

We left the room still high from everything we had seen. We sat down on the living room sofa and drank our tea. During this time we were able to calm ourselves down. We talked and laughed, enjoying ourselves and decided to stay and cook dinner together.

"What are we making then?" I asked as we stood in the kitchen, ready to get started.

"Homemade pizza."

"How Europe of you," I joked and grabbed the bowl he handed me. We made the dough together, which ended in a smaller flour fight.

"If you come closer you can really feel the-" There was now flour on my cheek.

"Seungri." I swear if looks could kill he would have turned to dust by then. I sneakily put a hand in the bag of flour and spread it equally into each of my hands. I ruffled Seungri's hair and then did the same to Daesung, they chuckled at my playful action unaware of what I had done. None of them noticed till they looked at each other and laughed, then realised they too had gotten white hair.

"You are dead," Daesung said and I ran out of the kitchen area and into the living room. Daesung and Seungri looked at me from the kitchen with an evil look in their eyes. They walked towards me. I stood behind the sofa, trying to hide, but they came from both sides. I got down on my knees and begged for mercy. They lifted me up and carried me into the kitchen. Daesung then held my hands on my back so I couldn't use them. Seungri put both his hands in the flour bag. He held as much flour in his hands as possible he then put it briefly under the running tab. I tried to get out of Daesung's grip. He held on tighter. I closed my eyes as I felt Seungri's hands on my head and a shit load of gooey flour landed in my hair. Thank god for short hair.

"Fuck my life," I yelled out in English with a thick Scottish accent. I wasn't sure if they had any idea what I was saying but they laughed. "Why did you give me ten times worse oh my god," I cried out.

"Because it's more fun." Daesung let go of my hands. I was being giggled at as I stood bent over with my head in the sink trying to get the flour goo out of my hair. When I had succeeded in getting most of it out I stood back up and shook my head so the water and some of the remaining flour goo went everywhere including on Seungri and Daesung.

"Payback bitches." I crossed my arms and stuck out my tongue. We finally got back to the pizza making and it was soon ready for the oven.

"I'm so hungry now," Daesung said, sitting on the kitchen counter.

"Me too. I'm glad it doesn't need too long in the oven," Seungri said, sitting down on the floor.

"This was a shit tonne of fun," I pointed out still trying to get the remains of the flour out of my hair. They nodded in agreement.

We sat down at his dining table with the pizza and ate without plates or anything. There was no time for that.

"That was so good." I sat back in my chair, holding my stomach.

"Agreed." Daesung looked satisfied. After resting for a few minutes we decided it was time to go home. Seungri said he would gladly drive us home.

"You really don't have to." I gave him a hug.

"I will anyways." He continued getting dressed in shoes and jacket. We went back down in the elevator and into his car. He drove to Daesung's place first.

"See you soon," I smiled and went out of the car to hug him. Seungri stepped out and he too hugged Daesung. That seemed to please Daesung, who was very responsive to show of affection.

"Let's hang out more." Daesung nodded happily. He had been so happy all day. When Seungri had asked for his phone number he had beamed at him and started saying it before Seungri had even taken out his phone. We watched him go inside before we went back in the car.

"He's so nice isn't he?" I asked Seungri smiling to myself.

"Very... Does he really live here?" Seungri asked looking around the neighbourhood as we drove through.

"Yes. I don't think he has that much money."

"Maybe I should offer him to live in my spare room. Since my parents pay it would be free."

"Really? That is so nice of you! I think that's a really good idea. He needs a place where he can be safer than here since he has those horrible guys after him."

"Yeah, that was a terrible story. I really want to help him too. I also think it would help me. Being alone is exactly what I don't want right now."

"I think that is the perfect plan then."

_Diary entry July 16th, 2016 23:30 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Bad girlfriends and Big flats. Here's why: Daesung and I met up with Seunghyun today, who asked us to call him Seungri. I really like that nickname so it's probably gonna stick. I hope he recovers from his heartbreak soon. He seems so gloomy at times. The way his eyes can go sad makes my heart hurt. On a cheerier note, he showed us his flat, which was huge and so nice!! He has a hot tub. 10/10 would date him if I was a gold digger. His dad owns some big company and he is really good looking. His hair is blonde. I guess he dyed it. It looks good on him. Anything would, I mean, he's Seungri. That man is pretty much a model already._

_Days left in Korea: 328_


	7. Bridges and Band names

"I must say I'm impressed by how you're handling it," Amber said. "You're so calm. I don't think it's that big of a problem if you can enjoy it, though. They're just people after all. It's just an odd situation."

"That's what I thought and I really don't feel like I'm in danger anymore. They're all meeting each other for the first time tonight, though. I'm nervous."

"It's a big responsibility to take. I hope you can handle it." Hyunwoo put a hand on my shoulder and Amber nodded.

"I'm going out." My aunt and uncle looked up.

"Where are you going... In that?" My aunt asked looking at my tight t-shirt.

"It's just a t-shirt and I'm meeting a couple of friends," I beamed at her.

"It's good to hear you're making some friends. You look good, now go have fun." I sent her one last smile before happily shutting the door behind me. I looked down at my red and white striped t-shirt and nodded to myself.

_I do look nice._

I went out the door to meet with everyone at a bar not far from the junkyard. Youngbae didn't own a phone and so I went to his place to pick him up first.

"Hey, Youngbae!" I yelled from outside his caravan that had light coming from the window. A few seconds went by before the door opened. He was again shirtless.

_Does he not own a shirt? Probably not._

"I'm meeting with my friends close by. Please join us." I grinned at him and held out my hand for him to take. He went back in without closing the door and quickly came back out with his bright red jacket on. In the meantime, I had let my hand fall back down but he still went to my side and took it before walking out of the junkyard with me.

Youngbae seemed to be nervous by the idea of meeting so many new people all at once. "It'll be fine. They're very nice." I held tightly onto his hand. We soon reached the bar just down the street. I went to hug Daesung, who had saved a booth for us.

"How's it going?"

"Fantastic," he smiled and turned his attention to Youngbae. "I'm Daesung nice to meet you." He bowed and sat back down in the booth. Soon both Seungri, Jiyong and Seunghyun had arrived as well. I could sense some mixed emotions in the room. Youngbae was overwhelmed, Daesung and Seungri were excited, Jiyong seemed to not give a fuck and Seunghyun looked nervous again.

"So is this Fae's support group or did you leave that idea to rot?" Seunghyun joked.

"The second option," I spoke in a bitter voice followed by a chuckle.

"So are we up for some alcohol?" I nodded eagerly, already standing up when Jiyong had asked the question. "I think you have a drinking problem Fae." He uncrossed his arms as he laughed, opening up.

"I'm glad I turned twenty in Korean age before I moved so I can buy alcohol here." Everyone looked at me expect for Youngbae.

"Excuse me what?"

"I just turned twenty so I can buy alcohol here..." I trailed off a little confused.

"You only just turned twenty?" They all asked surprised. Youngbae seemed confused as to what the problem was.

"Yeah. Why is that so bad?" I asked confidently. I got annoyed by their strong reactions.

"I thought you were twenty-one," Seunghyun said to me.

"At least," Daesung added.

"It can't be that bad. How old are all of you?"

"I'm twenty-two," Daesung said.

"Twenty-three," Jiyong, Seunghyun and Youngbae said.

"Twenty-one," Seungri said.

"See we're only one year apart," I argued. "And really, what does age matter?" I looked at them with raised eyebrows.

"It's not so much that. You just seem older. You have your life together and you seem determined to do something when you put your mind to it, like helping us. The fact that you were brave enough to approach us and let us become part of your life is really something," Daesung explained. The others agreed. There was a small pause, where I was looking down at my lap. I gulped.

"That... Or maybe I'm just naïve." I looked up at the five pairs of eyes all looking right back at me. The atmosphere had changed so suddenly. I cracked a smile to lighten the sudden change of mood. "I love you all so much." Everyone relaxed at this statement. They smiled and told me they loved me too. Youngbae looked more and more comfortable with the others.

"Let's get some drinks!" Jiyong cheered, slapping his hands on his lap. I agreed eagerly and moved out of the booth. The two of us went to get drinks for the table.

"Something strong," I said to Jiyong in deep thought as we walked towards the bar.

"Most certainly." He looked amused at my enthusiasm. He told me he would pay because he had a shit tonne of money. I said okay because I knew it was true. We got a few of the strongest cocktails they offered.

"Wow this is so fancy," I said as we sat down. "Back home we usually just got vodka and soda from the supermarket and mixed it together. Then we'd just run around, spilling it all over our hands and drinking out of the bottle." Jiyong looked impressed.

"I like you a lot," he said as he handed me a very toxic looking blue drink. I took a sip. A few rounds of shots later and we were all a little restless and goofy. We spent some time drinking and laughing before we wanted to find something to do.

"Well the night is still young," I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to go home quite yet.

"I'd say the night is middle aged by now but sure," Seunghyun chuckled at his own joke and Jiyong grinned.

"We can use my place if you want," Seungri offered. Daesung and I agreed immediately being the only ones who had seen his luxurious flat.

"His place is amazing you have to see it!" They agreed to it, not having any better ideas themselves. It was quite far from where we were but we didn't really notice, being in the state we were in. I looked at everyone and the smiles on their faces. A huge grin appeared on my face and I felt truly happy in that moment. The things one person as myself could do for five lost boys. I hadn't just helped them either. I soon found that I had helped myself too.

I heard the first few words from one of Jiyong's songs come from Seungri. I joined in, distracting myself from the feeling I had tried to hold onto. We rapped the best we could, which was badly, and Jiyong was laughing loudly as we did.

"Yes I'm a pretty boy!" I yelled together with Seungri as we jumped up and down. Daesung was showing us some drunken dance moves in the meantime. Youngbae who had let go completely started dancing too. Jiyong joined the rapping, outdid us both and we all clapped and cheered.

"What can you do Seunghyun?" I asked running to his side, locking my arm in his.

"Wanna hear some sick rhymes?" He yelled out to all of us. We gave him a collective 'wooh' and his mouth spat fire. He rapped as well as Jiyong, which was impressive when you think about the fact that he was drunk and Jiyong was a pro.

"That. Was. Lit!" Seungri yelled.

"That went from 0 to 100 so quick," I said jumping on Seunghyun's back. He supported me with his hands. "Let's start a band." I let my drunk mind take over. Seunghyun dropped me with a laugh.

"We should." Daesung was instantly in. Jiyong laughed. I guess he knew better than anyone that it would not work out well.

"We need a good band name then." Seungri walked up next to me to join the conversation.

"How about..." Seunghyun started, speaking in a voice that let us know this would be epic. "No," he smiled sarcastically and Jiyong gave him an elbow nudge. He agreed that the idea was stupid.

"Buzzkill." I playfully pushed him. Jiyong and Seunghyun were making fun of us as we came up with a load of rubbish band names. The worst one being Daesung's 'Fae's angels'.

"More like Fae's demons!" Seungri said excitedly. I scoffed.

"I have an idea then," Youngbae shot in. "I was watching TV through a shop window the other day and a documentary was on about space and stuff. They mentioned the beginning of everything... We could call ourselves Big Bang."

"That's not half bad actually," Jiyong commented from the side where he and Seunghyun had been making fun of us. We agreed on this name as we neared Seungri's building.

"Let's do a drinking game," Seunghyun challenged as we walked into Seungri's building.

"I'm up for it! Something like never have I ever. That would be fun since we don't know each other that well." I stumbled into the elevator and pressed the 35th-floor button.

"Sounds fun," Youngbae nodded and everyone else agreed. We exited the elevator and walked down the hall to the last door.

"Wow. This looks expensive," Seunghyun said and sat down on the sofa. Youngbae looked completely blown away.

"I didn't think places like this actually excited." He stared around in awe, grabbing my hand, searching for a feeling of reality that he seemed to have found with me. I squeezed his hand as our eyes met and I caressed his hair shortly with my free hand.

"Let's play some never have I ever. If you have a question let's hear it!" Seunghyun said from the sofa, where he had gotten comfortable in front of the table now decked with glasses, alcohol and soda to mix.

"I've got one," Jiyong said as we were all sitting down around the table. "It's an easy one for starters."

"Unusual for you not to go all out immediately," I teased him, knowing how easy it was to provoke him.

"So you want a hard one?"

"Not what I meant. Pretend I didn't say anything." He chuckled at me.

"Never have I ever kissed someone." Everyone took a sip. "As expected."

"Now... How about never have I ever had sex." Seungri went straight for the classic. Everyone but Youngbae took a sip. They all looked at him.

"Been without much human contact since I was 15. What can you do?" He explained like it was nothing. Seunghyun gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"Now let's dig a little deeper." I looked around at everyone with an evil smirk on my face. "Never have I ever kissed someone of the same gender. I took a sip myself, looking around to see who else did. Jiyong. It didn't really surprise me. He seemed like he was the kind of person who wouldn't really care if the person he kissed was a guy or a girl. No one seemed to be that surprised, but a few giggles were heard from Daesung.

"I have one now," Daesung said. "Never have I ever had serious thoughts of ending my life." All of them drank except for me.

"Wow. Okay. Let's continue that dark thread for just one more question." I couldn't hold my curiosity. "Never have I ever seriously thought about ending another person's life." Seunghyun, Jiyong and Daesung drank. I thought about the men that had beaten up Daesung. He must have meant them. I had no idea about Jiyong. I looked at Seunghyun who looked at me. He looked ashamed.

 _"It's... It's not mine."_ The sentence replayed in my head again. He was staring down at his lap. He knew I had finally realised what I didn't want to believe was true. I hurried to change the subject before the others noticed anything.

"Okay, something juicier and less depressing!" I began, thinking hard. "Never have I ever licked something off another person in a sexual way." I laughed at myself watched as Jiyong, Seungri and Seunghyun all took a big gulp of their drinks. Daesung and Youngbae were giggling like little schoolgirls. Even Youngbae knew what that was about.

_So cute._

I woke up, feeling like every part of my body was in pain. I could feel a person behind me. It was Daesung. I knew this. We had been lying on the rug giggling for a while last night while the party was dying down. We had fallen asleep there. I opened my eyes slightly, adjusting to the bright daylight coming from the gigantic window. I was lying on Seungri's rug with a pillow and a blanket. I gathered all my powers and stood up. I felt dizzy. I still felt drunk, but it had worn off enough so I could feel all the torture that the hangover would bring. I looked down to find myself in a pair of Seungri's boxers that he had let me borrow before I had fallen completely asleep.

"Fuck, everything hurts," I mumbled looking for everyone. On the sofa, Seunghyun was fast asleep. I looked in the guest room that had the huge bed big enough for all six of us. Youngbae and Jiyong were lying on opposite sides of the bed. I knocked on the door to Seungri's room just in case he was awake and changing his clothes or something.

"Come in," I heard a tired voice say.

"Morning." I peeked through the door as I opened it. "You look just as bad as I do." I looked at his tired eyes and pale face.

"I hope for you that you're not feeling as bad as I am." He furrowed his eyebrows in pain.

"I think I am," I complained, getting comfortable next to him on his bed. "I just hope I don't throw up." I put my head on his shoulder trying to relax my whole body.

"Me too. I hope no one throws up, but the chances of that are slim." I nodded in agreement. He rested his head on mine. "Wanna order some junk food and find some aspirins?"

"I would love that." We went out into the kitchen quietly, doing our best not to wake up Seunghyun and Daesung, still fast asleep in the living room. We found the aspirins in his cupboard and phoned a shop that delivered junk food at 11 am in the morning. Daesung woke up while Seungri was on the phone.

"Good morning," I said softly and sat down on the rug next to him.

"Bad morning." He pushed himself up.

"Do you need painkillers?" He nodded, rubbing his eye with one hand. "I'll get them for you." I went into the kitchen for water and pills. "Here you go." He took them quickly and gulped down all the water.

"Thank you so much." He said to me as Seungri came and joined us.

"A million fries on their way."

"We're getting fries?" Daesung asked, looking hopeful. Seungri nodded. "I love you two." He gave us a hug. It was very short, as we were all feeling fuzzy.

"Are there fries?" Everyone turned their heads to see Seunghyun peeking up from the sofa.

"On the way," I smiled, walking to him. "Can I suggest an order of painkillers and water for starters?" He nodded, looking like he knew just how I was feeling. I went and got it for him. Daesung stood up and went to the toilet.

"I think I might..." He trailed off and hurried into the bathroom.

"As expected it was going to happen to someone," Seungri said leaning against the back of the sofa.

"Poor Daesung." I looked towards the bathroom. "Should we wake up Youngbae and Jiyong?"

"Might be a good idea. The food is here soon." I went into the bedroom.

"Morning boys." I kept my voice as gentle as I possibly could. No reaction. I sat down on my knees by the bed and caressed Youngbae's cheek. "Hey." His eyes fluttered open. He furrowed his eyebrows in discomfort and let out a pained moan. "There's painkillers in the kitchen and some junk food on the way." I pulled my hand back from his cheek.

"Will there be fries?"

"A lot of fries." I sent him a smile and remembered the day we met. He ate all the fries on both his own and my plate. He slowly got up and dragged himself out of the room. I crawled across the bed to reach Jiyong.

"Jiyong." I ran a hand gently through his hair.

"I feel fuzzy," he moaned, taking my hand and pulling me down.

"There's fries on the way." I chuckled at his state. "There is also painkillers on the kitchen counter," I added. He pulled me closer mumbling that I should shut up. I stretched my arm around him and caressed his side. "I'll get you some." He made a disagreeing face, still with his eyes closed but let me go.

“He awake?” Seungri asked me when I came out after yet another glass of water and aspirins.

"Yup. He just doesn't want to get up. I'm getting him something for the pain." When I came back he was sitting up on the bed. He reached out for the water. I handed it to him. When he had gulped down every last drop, he stood up and followed me out of the room with heavy steps.

"The food could be here-" He was cut off by the doorbell. "Any moment now." He finished and went to the door. "Hello."

"It's your father." Seungri's eyes widened. "Yes come in." He let his dad in the building. "Okay, you need to hide. Fuck nothing is cleaned up." Seungri told everyone to put the pillows nicely on the sofa and open some windows. Daesung hurried into the weird hot tub room with the others and I opened a few windows with Seungri before I would go in myself. We heard footsteps outside the door. I was in the wrong end of the room and looked at Seungri in panic.

"You're my girlfriend." He took my hand and walked to the door. "Hi, dad." I tried to adjust my hair standing behind Seungri. I looked a mess, wearing nothing but a tight t-shirt and Seungri's shorts that he had let me borrow last night.

"Hello... Oh, who is this?" He pointed at me. I waved and smiled. I imagined what he was seeing. A young girl standing frightened behind his son with bags under her eyes, wearing his son's underwear and a t-shirt so tight it was surprising that her lungs had room for air. I suddenly understood my aunt's remark yesterday.

"This is my girlfriend. You have been dying to meet her for so long. Here she is." He squeezed my hand in comfort, knowing how nervous I must have been. He seemed pretty tense too.

"Nice to meet you." I bowed.

_Fuck my life. Fuck my life. Fuck my life. Fuck my life._

"So here she is. Your mother was worried that something was wrong. You had not mentioned her for a while." He spoke like a man of great importance, which intimidated me more.

"I've just been busy with studies..." I held in a laugh.

_Lol sure._

"So we haven't seen each other so much recently." His dad nodded. "Can I ask why you are here?"

"I just wanted to see my son, but seeing as you seem a little busy I won't stay for long." He chuckled warmly and hugged Seungri. "Your mother is currently at the office. I will make sure to bring her with me soon. Next time we will invite you two over for dinner." He smiled warmly at me. I shyly smiled back, while my insides were crumbling.

"Let's do that," Seungri nodded and said goodbye to his dad. I waved until the door closed behind him. I breathed out.

"Fuck that was tense." Seungri hugged me in relief.

"Your dad is nice," I said trying to calm down my heart. He nodded into my shoulder, breathing heavily. "So your parents don't know you're not with your ex anymore? They must not have met her since he so easily believed it's me." This short meeting with his dad rose a lot of questions in my mind.

"They found out because they heard me speak on the phone with her on one of the good days. It was very obviously my girlfriend I was talking to. It was about three months ago. They've been trying to meet her since. Now they can't obviously since we broke up." He let go of me. "I'm sorry I dragged you into this. I haven't told them that we broke up yet and I had to think quickly just now. I could have just said you were a friend but the evidence was kind of against me." He glanced down at my clothes and I nodded, knowingly.

"let's get the others." We opened the bathroom door and found them all standing there by the door listening in. I laughed.

"Did you hear that?"

"No we couldn't hear shit," Jiyong said, looking very disapointed. "And at one point I threw up. To throw up quietly is not that easy."

"Wow, it sounds like we almost had it easy out there."

"Why did we have to hide?" Seunghyun asked looking like he really didn't enjoy being caught in a room with someone puking.

"I've never had friends who weren't... Upper class. I was afraid he would tell me not to see you again... I'm sorry." He looked down at the floor.

"Hey, it's okay," I told him and caressed his cheek.

"We'll be your secret friends." Daesung's sunshine smile softened all of us.

"Yeah man it's cool," Jiyong said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll tell him soon." He smiled at us.

"Yeah meeting us is probably not the best way of finding out. Culture shock." Seunghyun laughed. We chuckled and looked around at each other. A strange bunch. We went back into the living room, doing our best to show Seungri that I didn't matter one bit. The fries finally arrived.

"Hey guys," Jiyong began. "I've got a show here in Seoul in a few weeks. Some other artists are there as well. I can get you all backstage passes if you want to come." He smiled and put another fry in his mouth.

"Who else will be performing?" Daesung asked.

"I know SHINee will be there. It's a pretty big event."

"I love SHINee." I jumped in my seat.

I decided it was time to go when I got a text from my aunt asking where I was. The others said they would go too.

"Thanks for letting us crash here and throw up in your toilet." Daesung smiled awkwardly at Seungri. Jiyong nodded in agreement.

"See you soon baby," I joked. He punched my arm. "Boi." I punched him back and laughed it off.

"It was good having you all." He smiled and waved at us as we walked down the hall. We walked part of the way together until Jiyong, Seunghyun and Youngbae had to turn. We said goodbye to them and walked just me and Daesung. Since we lived quite close to each other I decided to follow him all the way home. I was scared for him. It had been a few days since any of us had seen his stalkers.

"Thank you for taking care of me."

"Thank you for letting me." I put an arm around his waist and he put his arm around my shoulder. I kept close to him as we talked and laughed together through the city.

"See you Saturday, if not before." I nodded and hugged him tight before going home, excited to meet the warmth of my bed. When I arrived my aunt, uncle and cousin were sitting in the living room talking and drinking tea.

"I'm back." I was afraid I looked like I had been doing what I had. I was pretty sure there were black lines under my eyes a strong scent of alcohol on my clothes.

"Did you have fun?" I nodded tiredly. They chuckled. "Go take a shower and go to bed. We'll make some hangover friendly dinner." My aunt smiled warmly at me. I sighed in relief as I walked into the bathroom and stepped into the shower. I realised I still had my clothes on so I went back out and took it off.

_Wow... Brain working at top speed today._

I let the water relax me worrying if the aspirins would wear off soon. I thought about the look Seunghyun had given me. He looked so ashamed and afraid. I could not help but feel bad for him, but how was I supposed to deal with the fact that he had killed someone? I didn't know the circumstances even so it didn't make it any less of a serious matter. The questions raised in my mind were endless. Who was the person? Did he cry from shock, regret or something else? Was he pressured to do it? Would the police be on the case and if so would they suspect him? I had no idea.

"Sometimes I wish I could stay drunk forever," I sighed to myself, turned off the water and stepped out. I went into my room and put on some night shorts and a t-shirt and went to sleep, not before reminding myself that I would have to call my parents soon.

My alarm woke me up at 5 pm. I sat up on my bed. The hangover was almost completely gone.

_Thank god._

I walked into the living room and sleepily greeted my aunt and uncle who were making dinner in the kitchen and asked if they needed help but they told me to relax. I sat on the sofa and wasted time watching bad TV shows with my cousin while making fun of the bad acting or stupid plots. We ate dinner and I skyped my parents, sister and brother, who all seemed to be doing fine. They asked me what I had been doing. I answered that I had hung out with some friends I had made and other than that I had just been working.

_Well, it's not a lie..._

_Diary entry August 9th, 2016 23:45 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Bridges and Band names. Here's why: I was out drinking with the boys last night. Youngbae came up with the name Big Bang for us. I don't know if he thought this far but it makes sense for us. In a way, we just had our own big bang, or at least they did. Maybe I'm the big bang? I'm not sure, but they're on their way to better things for sure. We went home to Seungri, where we played never have I ever. This is when I realised that Seunghyun did kill someone. I was a little frightened at first, but I think he regrets it. He seems so ashamed of it. I'm determined to get him through this but it's a difficult matter to handle. I want him to be happy... Anyways I woke this morning next to Daesung on a rug. Seungri's dad came over and I didn't hide in time, so I had to pretend to be his girlfriend. It was really embarrassing because I was hungover, in a tight t-shirt and his boxers. He was very nice, though. It was kind of funny now that I think about it. We're going to a GD event soon. Can't wait! Goodnight future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 304_


	8. Bullies and Bold decisions

"Do you even own a shirt?" I asked the, once again, topless Youngbae.

"I don't. I only have this." He pointed to the bright red jacket he was wearing.

"I'm taking you out shopping soon. Just a couple of shirts would be nice for winter," I promised him before greeted him properly with a hug that he merrily leant into. He took my hand in his and we walked towards the arena.

We met up with everyone in front of the arena, feeling the excitement and exclusiveness of being friends with one of the artists on the big poster on the side of the building. We called up Jiyong. He had someone come outside and give us backstage passes. Some girls standing in line looked enviously at us. We walked into the building, each one of us a little cocky. We passed SHINee's dressing room. The door being open, I couldn't help but turn my head and look in as we walked by.

"Jihyun I will send Kibum after you if you keep teasing me," Jonghyun said to a girl with short black hair.

"Haha, like I would help you." Kibum laughed together with the girl, who I guessed was Jihyun. I heard Jonghyun groan as my eyes turned back to where I was walking. The woman leading us to Jiyong knocked on the door to his room and opened it. She let us in and left. Within very few seconds Jiyong was trapped in the middle of a group hug.

"I'm so proud of our little son," I said to Seungri, putting my hand on his arm. He allowed himself to laugh for a short moment before a comedic serious expression appeared on his face.

"We're both proud of you son." He clapped Jiyong's shoulder, who seemed about done with our shitty jokes. Still, it extracted a laugh from him, maybe because he found us so ridiculous. His makeup artist called him over and he went to sit down in the chair. Daesung, Youngbae and Seungri stood chatting her up as she was going to work on Jiyong's face. I sat down next to Seunghyun on a sofa on the other side of the room. I took his hand and let out a long sigh.

"That's why you're scared." He knew what I meant.

"Yeah." His voice was shaky. I squeezed his hand, letting him know I still trusted him. "What if I lose control again? What it happens again? What if it's you?" He held back the tears in his eyes as he sought consolation in mine.

"It will be okay I promise you. I trust you. You have to trust yourself too." I gave him a reassuring smile a pat on his thigh. I stood up and reached my hand down to him. He took it and we waddled over to our friends who were busy chatting up the makeup artist.

"Sure Youngbae and Daesung have abs, but I do too and I have a shit tonne of money. Those two are broke," Seungri said, pointing to Daesung and Youngbae. Jiyong was having a great time watching them fight over the makeup artist.

"Seungri are you cheating on me?"

"Babe it's not what it looks like." He played along, going down on his knees pleading for me to not be mad. I pretend-took him back before we followed the others to the sofas with Jiyong who was done with makeup.

"You look so pretty," I teased. He smiled smugly and got back up to get into his stage outfit. He came back out a few minutes later looking cool as ever.

"We gotta get you ready to go on." The woman from before had opened the door, peeking her head in.

"Come with me, you'll be shown where to go." We were parted with him to be shown to our seats. Good seats at that. He came on stage and the crowd roared.

"That one friend who really knows how to get their cray on... I have five of those. This song is dedicated to them." I felt someone poke my legs and I looked down. It was Youngbae. He was lifting me up on his shoulders. The others told me to wave and so I did. Seungri and Seunghyun were hopelessly trying to get Daesung up on Seunghyun's shoulders. Jiyong spotted us and waved back smiling at our stupidity. We were escorted behind the stage again when his stage was over. When we came back into his room we jumped on him complimenting him and telling him how much we loved him. He was smiling but struggling under the weight of all of us.

"I love you too guys but please let me breathe." We let him go. "Thanks for coming guys."

"It was so cool!" Daesung said jumping up and down like the five-year-old he essentially was. Jiyong invited us to the after party and, of course, we said yes. The time in between the concert and the after party we spent on our favourite activity: Eating.

"Let's get pizza and eat outside. The weather is really nice." I pointed to the pizza place across the street and so we did. We sat down on an empty basketball court that we had spotted, going into a park.

"It was sooo epic!" Daesung said, standing up. "And when you mentioned us it was amazing!" He started rapping and imitating Jiyong. He was cut off by a voice coming from outside the basketball court.

"I see you've made some friends since last we saw you Daesung." I had not yet experienced that much fear in any of the boys' eyes as in Daesung's at that moment. His whole body stiffened and my mind worked on full speed. I immediately stood up and hurried over to Daesung, grabbing a hold of his arm. The others quickly understood the seriousness of the situation when the three men came into the basketball court, looking threatening. Daesung was glued to me in fear.

"Get lost or get fucked!" Jiyong yelled at them.

"Brave friends you've got there Kang Daesung. Are you sure about this cause last time it was very close to getting real ugly?" One of the men spoke.

"I don't want you to get hurt." Daesung looked down at the ground, speaking to all of us.

"I'm not going anywhere." I pulled him in closer.

"Neither am I," Youngbae said.

"I'm here for you." Seungri took a step closer to Daesung.

"I'm always up for a little fight. Especially for a good friend," Jiyong said with a hungry look in his eyes.

"Daesung is our friend. We're not letting you hurt him so get the fuck out of here," Seunghyun said, rolling up his sleeves. He looked very intimidating considering how tall he was and how his deep voice was. The others instantly imitated what Seunghyun had done. They rolled up their sleeves, cracking their knuckles and looking at the three men like a lion looks at its prey. Daesung kept me close to him as his eyes watered.

"We've got you," I smiled shortly. I rolled up my sleeves and joined the others although still keeping a hand in Daesung's.

"Well if you're all gonna fight." Daesung came up to us. He sounded touched by our loyalty towards him. Jiyong gave him a pat on the back.

"What are you all standing there for? Fight or leave. Make up your minds." Jiyong was good with the talking. One of the men charged for Daesung. Everyone quickly stepped in the way. Youngbae hit him in the stomach before his fist could collide with Daesung's body. The two others went charging for us. I didn't think they expected me to be of any danger as I was "just a girl". I gathered my courage and remembered some of my old moves. I had three and a half years' practice so I should have at least some skill to use. I managed to hit all the air out of the tallest guy's lounges and even got him lying on the ground before I let him go. Once again, Jiyong sent me an impressed look and hurried over to Daesung, who was trying to hit one of the men. Quickly they were defeated. Their fighting skills were sucky, and they were three against six.

"Now fuck off and don't come back. Dipshits," Seunghyun yelled at them as they were recovering from the fight. They stared at him in fear. "Leave fuckers!" He stepped towards them and they hurried away.

"I don't want you to be in danger because of me. I don't want you to die because of me." A few tears fell down Daesung's cheeks.

"We don't have anything to live for if we don't have each other. I've never been as happy as I am with all of you. I'm not going to leave because some peasants think they can hurt us." Seunghyun put a hand on Daesung's shoulder.

"Alone we are weak and lonely. Together we are stronger and happier," Youngbae added, sounding like some cheesy historical drama. Nevertheless, everyone agreed that together was better.

"Why would you risk your life for me Fae? You have a great life already."

"There's a simple answer to that question: You have become family. Family is worth dying for." We recovered for a few minutes, wrapping our heads around everything.

"How about we forget about this for now and go have fun at the after party?" We cheered in agreement and left the court.

"Jiyong," I yelled over the loud music. "I'm gonna kiss that guy." I pointed over at Zico, who I couldn't tell was Zico because the lights were dimmed and I was very drunk.

"That's Zico from Block B you know," Jiyong told me.

"Oh! Well he's really pretty," I slurred and Jiyong laughed.

"I bet he'd go along with it. He's one for a good snog... I would know." Jiyong found me rather amusing like this, swaying back and forth as I told him about every hot guy I saw.

"Be my wingman Jiyong." He gave me a reassuring nod and walked towards Zico. I watched them as they spoke for a few seconds then Jiyong pointed to me who was sitting on the table with my feet on the seat of the booth. I smiled and waved. Zico chuckled and I could tell he was just as drunk as I was. He walked towards me and Jiyong stayed at the bar where he could keep an eye on us.

"Hi Jiho. You're very good looking. I like your music!" I slurred and sent him a drunken grin, happy that I was familiar with his real name.

"Hi. You're very good looking too. If you made music I bet I'd like it too." He grinned back at me. "What's this pretty lady's name then?"

"I'm Fae Hunter. Do you think you'd be willing to kiss the heck out of me?" I went straight to the point. He didn't even nod, he just lifted me down from the table to the seat of the booth and sat down next me. He quickly put his lips on mine. I immediately put my tongue in action. He let me in. He seemed to know what he was doing even being this drunk. I swiftly put my hands in his hair and he leant in further so I was up against the back of the booth. He had rested his hands on my hips. One of them now moved around my waist and round my bum, then down my thigh. I moaned into the kiss. He smirked. I held tighter onto his hair. He broke the kiss, took my hand and lead me towards the bathrooms. Jiyong shot up from his chair.

"If you can't show me any valid protection you're not allowed in," he said, pretending to be a guard. Jiho, fiddled through his pockets taking the situation very seriously whilst I was snickering to myself behind him. He found some and showed them to Jiyong, who made sure they were alright before he let us through. He sent me a wink and I closed the door behind me.

Seungri, Daesung and Youngbae were sitting in the booth when I came back from the toilet.

"Someone is getting it on with my wife!" Seungri angrily stated, causing Daesung and Youngbae to snicker. I looked over at Jiyong who had now been joined by Seunghyun. I grinned wildly at them and they chuckled. I looked back at Jiho, who wore a drunken smile as he looked at me.

"Thanks for that. I had a good time," I told him, still grinning wide.

"Right back at ya." He left the table, not before biting my lip and winking at me. I winked back and sent him handguns, thinking it was cool in my drunken state.

"How could you cheat on me this way." Seungri sat next to me, holding my hand and pretending to cry.

"I saw you with that makeup artist. Who are you to talk?" I looked away dramatically.

"Now let's not fight in front of the kids." He gestured towards Daesung and Youngbae who did look like kids who had just discovered a dirty magazine for the first time. Seunghyun and Jiyong joined us. They asked if we wanted to leave and we agreed, shrugging.

"Daesung... And Youngbae. Can I ask you guys something?" Seungri asked as we walked outside.

"Sure."

"Since I have a few spare rooms, I was wondering if you two want to move in with me? Both of you. Since I've seen where you live and I hear that Youngbae lives in a caravan, and now with the whole business with those idiots earlier." Daesung's face changed into an expression I had not yet seen on him. He looked overwhelmed in every sense of the word. He told Seungri that he shouldn't do that. Seungri told him that he would enjoy having someone in the flat. Youngbae looked like a little kid that was asked if he wanted to go to Disneyland. They thanked him a million times as we walked down the street. I could feel myself getting a little distant. I looked over at Seunghyun, who now looked very blurry.

"I think I'm passing out," I giggled.

The first thing I noticed was that I was sitting rather uncomfortably. My eyes fluttered open.

"You okay babe?" Jiyong asked me, stopping the shopping cart I was sitting in. I nodded.

"You guys put me in a shopping cart?" I looked around at everyone, who were looking at me with gentle eyes.

"We thought we we'd drive you home in this."

"I don't wanna go home. I'm okay. Can I crash with someone?" I looked around at everyone. Seungri smiled.

"Of course." He took my hand and our entourage continued our walk down the dimly lit streets of Seoul.

"Thanks love. Even after all we have been through you are still so nice to me. This is why I fell in love with you," I started again with the roleplaying, finding myself almost being sincere, almost.

"No matter how much I want to leave I cannot. I love you too much."

"Get a fucking room," Seunghyun laughed. I stuck out my tongue at him.

"Can I tell you guys something?"

"Sure."

"Back in Scotland I had a boyfriend, but it's a long time ago. He left me for my best friend... Well, back then she was. I didn't speak to anyone for almost two months. I was so pissed, so I've been lonely too... I just wanted to share," I ended and closed my eyes, leaning on the back of the shopping cart. They all chuckled a little at the random anecdote and we continued walking.

"My leg hurts. I think one of those guys twisted my ankle a little," Youngbae said.

"Come down here." I reached out for him and made a little room in the cart. He smiled and jumped down next to me.

"Thank you Fae. You're an amazing person." Youngbae put his arm around me warming me up in the cool night breeze.

"I'm so happy I found all of you." I smiled warmly at everyone. Youngbae next to me, Seungri walking on one side of the cart, Daesung and Seunghyun on the other side and Jiyong pushing us forward.

"I think I speak for all of us when I say that we're happy that you found us too," Seunghyun smiled back at me.

"Cheers to that." Jiyong raised a bottle of champagne he had stolen from the party. Everyone else yelled 'cheers'. For the first time in a while, I blushed. The feeling of being loved filled me up and my heart fluttered. I looked around at the five broken, but beautiful men who were all smiling brightly at me.

"You're our light in the dark. You've given us hope," Seunghyun said.

"And faith in ourselves," Youngbae added. I cried without much sound. Tears fell down my cheeks and they wouldn't stop. It might have been the alcohol but what they said got me so emotional. I sniffed. Youngbae was the first to notice.

"You're crying." The cart stopped. Everyone was standing around me. They all had big smiles on their faces. I couldn't help but cry even more.

"I j-just love you guys so much." I was smiling and sobbing at the same time. They all ruffled my hair or squeezed my arm and Daesung told me some of them might not have been there if it was not for me. He then wiped away my tears that kept coming. All the way to Seungri's place Youngbae held me, while I finished up my crying. In the elevator, Daesung was hugging me so tightly as I was apologising for crying.

"Don't apologise!" Seunghyun ruffled my hair with a soothing chuckle. We all felt ourselves being in the process of sobering up.

"Daesung and Youngbae welcome to your new home," Seungri smiled and let us all in. They laughed, but still seemed to not quite believe it.

"Wait Seungri. Earlier you said you had a few spare rooms. What is this? I only know of one." He gestured for us to follow him. He led us the opposite side of the living room than the one with the other bedrooms. There was a hallway all the way in the corner. Four more doors were seen. I wondered how I hadn't seen this before.

"Jesus Christ Seungri what even... What man?" I was amazed by how huge his place was.

"One bathroom, three spare rooms." My jaw dropped.

"Rich kid. I'm fucking moving in. I don't even care what you say. I'm moving in." He laughed as I sat down on the floor trying to fathom how fucking rich this guy's parents were.

We all slept in the living room on mattresses, not caring that there was basically a room for each of us. Just like a real sleepover. We talked for about an hour before we became too sleepy to continue the conversation. That night I held Seunghyun's hand while sleeping. I had looked into his eyes once, seen the fear and knew that he needed some comfort. He had fallen asleep quickly.

_He looks so peaceful. I wish he always was._

_Diary entry August 26th, 2016 14:45 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Bullies and Bold decision. Here's why: Quite a few bold decisions were made last night. The first was standing up to Daesung's bullies after Jiyong's concert. We were having fun at the park when they came and we got into a smaller fight with them. It almost feels like a movie now that I'm playing it back in my head, because we kicked ass. We went to that after party. I had sex with Zico... He was good but it was a little sloppy, seeing as we were both drunk and in a toilet stall. Seungri asked Daesung and Youngbae to move in with him, which made them super happy! I passed out after that and when I woke up I was put in a shopping cart. I started crying because I love them so much and they said nice things. We had a proper sleepover at Seungri's place. I held Seunghyun's because he got nervous again. It's been a weird night, but a good night. I love my boys. Good afternoon future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 287_


	9. Bondage and Broken Bones

The boys had become nothing less than my whole life at this point. All I really cared about was them. I wanted to see them every day and so I pretty much did.

I had been in Seunghyun's flat a couple of times before but it always took me aback how stylish it looked, but in his own Seunghyun kind of way. It was classy and very, very nice. Paintings filled the walls in every room. I could hear soothing music from the living room that drew me in. I wanted to dance and Seunghyun looked like he had just woken up, which he probably had.

"Come here and have a morning dance with me. It'll wake you up." I smiled and reached out a hand to him. He hesitated for a second before he came towards me and took it. I put my other hand on his shoulder and he put a hand on my waist. I met his eyes with a smile, which made his tensed-up shoulders fall. He spun me around and he too grew a wide smile. The song ended and I stood up on my toes to kiss him on the forehead. He beamed at me, which told me he was ready to go out without having his anxiety tag along.

We walked to our usual café and sat down outside, enjoying the last bit of warmth before autumn would truly begin. We drank hot chocolate, ate breakfast and spoke joyfully about this and that until I spotted something strange.

"Seunghyun, don't turn around when I tell you this okay?" Seunghyun nodded slowly, looking startled and confused. "Pretend we're having a normal conversation. Behind a car in my line of sight, there are a couple of guys staring at us. They've been there for a bit I think. I'm afraid it might be those Daesung guys. Now laugh like I had said something funny." I pretended to say a punchline and we both faked a laugh.

"What do you say we just get up and get the fuck out of here. You know, get away before they can reach us."

"That's the best plan I can think of right now."

"On the count of three. One, two, three." We stood up and ran with all the speed our legs could manage to give us. I took his hand so we wouldn't get separated. He looked back and saw them speeding after us.

"Fuck! They're after us." We ran faster through the crowded streets.

"We should have fucking called the police instead of this shit. I'm getting tired. Let's stay in the crowded areas. They won't do anything with this many people around." We kept running. I took my phone out of my pocket and dialled the first number of my friends I could find, which was Seungri.

"Seungri!" I said as soon as he picked up. "No time. No breath. Daesung men after us. They'll get us. Don't know what they'll do. We're staying in a crowded area. Call the police. We'll keep them here." I gave him the location and hung up.

"Good idea," Seunghyun told me as we ran to the other side of a fountain in the middle of the huge square. I pulled Seunghyun down behind it, where we made ourselves as small as we possibly could. We were panting, unable to say much.

"What the fuck do you think they'll do when there are people everywhere?"

"They might stick knives to our backs and make us walk out of there like nothing's wrong. I mean I've seen it done on TV and in games I don't know if it's actually possible."

"Let's hope not... Oh look they're running past us. Scoot to the other side. Quick, before they turn their heads and see us." We crawled to the other side and sat there for a few minutes, awaiting what would happen next.

"Now there we have you." I recognised one face out of the three. The two other men were unfamiliar to us. We both stood up and I clenched my fists.

"That might be a bad idea." He discretely showed us a small knife. Seunghyun was right. I looked at him. He seemed to have just a little and idea of what to do as I did. "Follow us, and don't start with your fucking moves." He looked me dead in the eyes. I looked away and the man forcefully took a hold of my arm. We were taken into a van and were blindfolded and our hands got tied.

"Will we be okay?" Tears filled my eyes and the cloth on my eyes got wet.

"I hope so, but stay quiet for the time being. We don't want more trouble than needed." I had no idea how long the ride had been as the van stopped and I felt someone grab my arm again. I was dragged out of the van and lead inside. The only lead I had as to where I was, was the change in temperature and sound. I was lead up some stairs, into a room and thrown down on a chair. I made sure to note that we were about one floor up from ground level. I could feel Seunghyun's back to mine. His hands found my hands and held them. I was shaking and he felt it. Our legs were being tied together too.

"How cute," a deep male voice said. I felt his breath on my neck, making me shiver in fright. I felt a sudden punch to the stomach. The air left my lounges and I coughed and heaved for air. Seunghyun grabbed my hands tighter.

"Deep breaths," he whispered. I took as deep breaths as my body could manage. I could hear a punch followed by a groan coming from Seunghyun.

"Now... You're here because you were loyal to that little rat. He killed our leader. He has to repay. Now that you've taken his side you're considered enemies That ain't a fun title, believe me." He pushed our chairs so we fell to the ground. My wrist felt like it was crushed under the weight of the chair and me. The man left.

"Push the chair away." I did as Seunghyun told me and it eased the pain a bit.

"My wrist," I cried silently.

"Is it broken?"

"I have no idea. I feel completely numb and yet it hurts like hell." I sniffled and forced myself to stop crying. Seunghyun rolled onto his other side to face me and I did the same. We moved as close as we could to each other. The feeling of his breath on my lips calmed me down. We shared a small kiss. Somehow it was clear to the both of us that it was nothing more than comfort and consolation. Not much else was possible being tied by the hands and feet and it indeed was comforting. I was completely blinded and I had no idea how big or small the room was, if there were any windows or if there was anything in the room at all other than the chairs. The only thing I knew, that comforted me, was that Seunghyun was there with me.

**Seungri's POV**

I had left the flat alone before calling the police. I couldn't let Daesung know they were in trouble until they were okay again. He would most likely do something stupid that would get him hurt. I couldn't let Youngbae know either. He would surely tell Daesung since they had gotten closer lately. I drove to the square, going a little too fast. The police had already arrived.

"Did you find anyone or anything? I'm the one who called for you. I just came down."

"Nothing. They seem to have left."

"Shit. I'll try to call them. They might be in danger." I took my phone out of my pocket and called Fae. It rang out. "Can you track phones? She would have answered the phone if she was fine I'm sure."

"We'll do the best job we can."

_I can't rely on the police alone. They're slow. I can't just sit back and hope. I'm taking matters into my own hands, but not alone._

_Jiyong._

I drove to Jiyong's place, which wasn't far. I kept ringing the doorbell until he answered.

"Chill chill, I'm coming. Who's this?" Jiyong's voice was heard through the door phone.

"It's Seungri and it's urgent." He buzzed me in. I flew up the stairs. He stood waiting for me by the door with a worried look.

"What's happening?"

"Fae called. Seunghyun and her were chased by those guys. I called the police but they weren't there on time. I called Fae again, but she didn't answer me. They are trying to track her phone, but I don't trust them with this situation alone. We need to do something." Jiyong looked horrified as he grabbed his jacket and keys before pushing me out of the door with him.

"We're going now. I don't know where, but we have to go somewhere." We hurried down to my car. My heart was racing. We decided to go to Fae's house. We needed to tell them something.

"Police will notify family and her uncle is a policeman so one way or another they'll find out. They've probably already been contacted," Jiyong said worriedly. We rang the doorbell.

"It's Fae's friends." We were immediately buzzed in. We discussed what to say and what not to say as we walked up the stairs.

"They might not want her to be friends with Daesung if we tell them it's because of those people who follow him. Let's leave that out. The rest is probably okay. We can never be too safe since we don't know these people at all." Jiyong nodded along as I spoke in something close to a whisper.

"Fuck this is so bad." Jiyong paused and leant up against the wall. We walked inside and sat down at their dining table together with Fae's uncle, aunt and cousin.

"Tell us everything you know, please," her aunt pleaded us.

"Hello again officer," Jiyong said bowing his head when he saw Fae's uncle. I looked at him with a confused look.

"Okay, so here's what we know: Today at about 11 am Fae called me. She told me she was being chased by some men and that she was with Seunghyun."

"The guy she was with when you met me, sir," Jiyong added quickly before letting me continue.

"She told me to call the police, so I did. The police had arrived there but Seunghyun and Fae were gone. I tried calling her but she didn't answer. The police are currently trying to track her phone. We just hope she wasn't separated from Seunghyun. It's better if they aren't all alone and Seunghyun is a very rational, brave and kind person. He will be there for her for sure." They all looked frightened.

"Who were those men? Why are they following her?"

"We... We are not sure," I sighed looking down at my hands.

"This Seunghyun... Is he a boyfriend?" The uncle asked us. My fists clenched.

"Oh no no. All six of us are just friends," Jiyong reassured them.

"Six?"

"Fae, Seunghyun, Daesung, Youngbae, Jiyong here and I sir," I told him. He did not reply but simply nodded at my words. Jiyong told them we had to leave, grabbed my arm and dragged me out of there. We bowed quickly before leaving.

"We can't sit around there all day. We have to do something now. Let's try and figure out where they are. I think I know someone."

_Unwritten diary entry – unsure of date. I believe it's the end of September. 2016. Time is unknown. – Dear Future Fae. This diary entrance will have the title Bondage and Broken Bones. Here's why: I'm currently lying on the floor of a gang's building. I'm scared and I think my hand is broken. Apparently, the man Daesung ran over was the leader of a gang. Seunghyun is with me. There's nothing I can do. I've tried opening the rope on my hands. It's impossible. It's cold too so I'm lying close to Seunghyun. I hope the police finds us soon. I'm cramping up and my wrist is really hurting. Good night(?) future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: I seem to have forgotten._

_Diary note time unknown – Still scared. Can't sleep. Fae out._


	10. Buddies and Break-ins

"So I just type this in here and I should be able to track this girls phone in a few minutes."

"You're a good buddy Hyunwoo." Jiyong patted him on the shoulder.

"Anything for an old friend. It's been a while." He smiled at Jiyong. "If you don't mind me asking... Who are you looking for?"

"Our friends. Seunghyun and Fae," I told him tapping my feet nervously.

"Fae... As in Fae Hunter from Scotland?" He spun around in his chair, locking eyes with me.

"You know her?"

"That's why the number seemed familiar. I work with her... Oh, so you're the... Oh... Okay."

"What?" His face shot down to the computer screen.

"Oh look I have her location." He had turned his computer around in his lap and pointed at the screen.

"Bring your laptop. We're driving there now." Hyunwoo sat in the backseat navigating me through Seoul into an industrial area. We stopped across the road from where the building they should be in.

"Take these." He gave us earpieces. "I'll stay here and guide you through the building as you go. I'll be able to track you and hear you."

"Thank god for this tech nerd," Jiyong smiled confidently.

"Let's rock and roll," I said opening my car door.

"Don't be corny," Jiyong cringed, closing the car door behind him. We walked towards the entrance.

"There are a few people out front. We probably can't just barge through the front door," I said quietly. We leant casually up against the brick wall.

"I'm checking for alternative entrances." We could hear Hyunwoo through the earpiece. "Alright. Go around the corner. There's an entrance there." We did as told, finding an unguarded back door. We tried pressing down the handle, ready to run if someone would come out to check. It was locked.

"On it." Jiyong took out a metal clip, fiddling around with it for a bit before sticking it in the lock. He sighed as he took it out. "Give me a second." He threw it back in his pocket and picked out another bendy metal clips.

"And you just have all these in your pocket?"

"My past was... Not too surprising actually but let's get on with this and chat later eh?" He brushed off my question and I heard the lock go. I shook my head, wondering what complex past was hidden behind the famous rapper, G-Dragon. The door opened.

"Unbelievable."

"Find a way up. I've traced the signal to be one floor up." We walked quietly up the stairs and listened carefully for any sounds. We opened the door to a long hallway. A man was there. I smacked the door shut.

"You hoe, now he'll come over here."

"Exactly. We take them one by one." I pushed Jiyong behind the door with me and waited. The door opened, hiding us behind it. Jiyong put a hand over his mouth and used his other arm to wrap around his neck and strangle him.

"He's only unconscious so let's move quickly."

"How do you do this?"

"Chat later," he repeated and we walked into the hall. There were doors on each side and we stood for a moment looking around.

"If she's where her phone is she'll be on the left side of the hallway. Check the rooms and be careful." We moved forwards quickly, but quietly. I tried listening at every door. I heard nothing, fearing what was behind them. We found the first room to be empty. I put my ear to the second door. It was just as quiet. I looked over at Jiyong.

"Let's take a chance." Jiyong nodded to let me know he was ready. I opened the door swiftly and hurried inside. On the floor of the small room were Seunghyun and Fae lying close to each other bound by hands and feet and with their eyes covered. Fae gasped in fear when she heard someone come into the room.

"It's Seungri and Jiyong. It's okay. Stay still and keep quiet." I hurried to Fae and took off the blindfold. Jiyong did the same with Seunghyun. They squinted their eyes at the sudden bright light.

"Oh thank god you came." Fae looked up at me, her eyes shining with hope as she adjusted to the light. "Seunghyun. Your cheek!" There was a huge blue mark there.

"It's okay. Thank you guys for getting us. How did you find us?"

"We tracked Fae's phone. No time for talking we gotta get going," I said. We were about to untie the rope around their hands and feet when the man Jiyong had taken out came back with more people behind him. "Call the police Hyunwoo. Hurry," I whispered.

"I'm on it," he said and I turned my head back to look at the men.

"Now you're fucked." The guy Jiyong had taken out sent me an evil smirk. "It's best not to resist." He swung a knife in front of my face. I looked at Fae once more before I was pulled out of the room and into an empty one.

**Fae's POV**

"Fuck. I hope they'll be okay. Let's try and get out of here. Seungri loosened my rope so now that we can see we might be able to open them." We turned our backs to each other and Seunghyun fiddled with my rope. I flinched in pain. My wrist was still hurting.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, shaking my good wrist to get the blood circulation going. I turned and undid his rope. We hastily fiddled with the rope around our ankles. We nodded at each other before going into the hallway, seeking any sort of clue as to where we'd find Seungri and Jiyong. We soon heard groans and punches from the room on the other side of the hall.

"Oh no." We looked at each other and stormed across the hall. Jiyong was being beaten to a pulp and Seungri was shouting for them to stop. They shut him up with a punch to the jaw.

"Help Seungri," I told Seunghyun and ran towards the two men beating Jiyong. I furiously kicked one in the nuts, stopping him from beating Jiyong.

"Not such a good idea baby doll." The other took out a knife.

"It's bad enough that you're threatening me. Don't be corny about it," I scoffed, forgetting my fear for a second. I looked at the knife in his hands, instantly regretting the remark. This didn't last long, a cocky smile appearing on my face, having spotted Jiyong getting back on his feet behind him. He raised the knife. Jiyong came from behind just in time, kicking him in the nuts. The man threw the knife towards me. I quickly moved. It grazed my ankle before hitting the floor. Jiyong beat the man that had thrown the knife. Now that he didn't have a weapon Jiyong did anything but hold back.

"You do not fucking hurt my friends," he punched him to the floor and ran to me. Seunghyun had picked up the knife from the floor and Seungri was struggling with another one of the men also holding a knife. Seunghyun went for him. I hurried to Seungri when the man's attention was turned to Seunghyun and pulled him away before the knife would collide with his flesh. I held him close.

"The police are coming," he whispered into my hair so only I could hear. He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Thank god." As if on cue, the police stormed into the room at this very moment. Jiyong and Seunghyun stopped and turned around.

"Oh thank goodness for that," Jiyong said. We came outside to find the police searching the whole building for everyone involved. Youngbae, Daesung and Light stood in a row, tripping with fear. The relief on their faces when they saw us was indescribable. We were questioned by the police and some doctors took care of our damages. My ankle got cleaned up and a big plaster was put on. My wrist was hurt but not broken. I was being wrapped in bandages as we told the police about everything with Daesung and what had happened inside that building. They then let us go home, warning us of taking matters into our own hands ever again and reassuring us that we would be safe from now on.

"The amount of luck involved in that is a little unsettling." Seungri breathed out loudly.

"They didn't think through their kidnapping. They didn't even take Fae's phone or watch them after we had been in there. We weren't lucky, we were just dealing with amateurs," Jiyong shrugged. His comment caused relieved chuckles from the rest of us.

"How did you find out we were here?" I asked Daesung bringing him into a hug.

"One of them... He contacted me. He told me they had my friends and he held the phone out and I could hear Seungri shouting for them to stop and he told me where you were and I knew it might have been a trap, but I had to check."

"Breathe Daesung, breathe." I stopped him from continuing as he looked about to cry, speaking without pauses. He took a few deep breaths.

"When I came here with Youngbae and Light there were police cars all over. We were told to wait here." I caressed his back as he cried onto my shoulder, experiencing a smaller panic attack, soon overshadowed by the relief of us coming out of there, more or less intact.

"Wanna head home?" Seungri asked pointing to his car. Seungri and Jiyong took out earpieces as we neared the car.

"What's that about," I asked them.

"We had a friend outside guiding us to where we tracked your phone. It was a big help."

"Who?" I asked opening the car door.

"Hello there," I turned my head to find Hyunwoo sitting in the backseat with a headset pushed down to hang around his neck and a laptop in his lap.

"Hyunwoo?"

"Jiyong and I are old friends from way back," he told me and I got into the back seat. Seungri's car was big enough for all of us. It had seven seats in total. Daesung got in next to me. Seungri got in the driver's seat, Seunghyun next to him and in the back, were Youngbae and Jiyong.

"I can't believe you went through all this because of me. I mean look at Jiyong. His eye." Jiyong's eye was swollen and turning dark.

"It's okay Daesung. It's not because of you. It's because of some idiots who didn't want to leave you alone," Jiyong reassured him. I put a hand in Daesung's hair. Gently and lovingly messing with it. I pushed it back so I could see his eyes.

"As long as Big Bang's babies Youngbae and Daesung are okay then everything else is okay too." I smiled at the two of them. The whole car seemed to agree with me. We dropped off Hyunwoo first. I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before he stepped out of the car. We then drove to my house. I took a deep breath as I walked inside.

"Hellooo. I'm back and I'm safe," I called out. Everyone rushed out to see me.

"Oh darling. I'm so glad you're safe." My aunt hugged me. My uncle and cousin joined the hug. I was lead inside and sat in front of a table with food. "You seem to have been getting into trouble since you got here." I didn't reply to this.

"Is your wrist okay honey?"

"Yes, it's alright."

"I don't quite understand why these men chased you," my uncle said, hinting quite clearly that he'd like an explanation.

"My friend. Daesung. He was followed by them for a long time. They tormented him and beat him up. We stood up to them not long ago. I saw them spying on me and Seunghyun this morning when I ate breakfast with him after work. I told him about them and we decided to run away from them. They chased us, so I called Seungri, who I understand you spoke to after this?"

"Yes, we did. Him and Jiyong." I nodded.

"It was kind of cool that G-Dragon was in our flat," Daehee said. I chuckled.

"I can get him to come back here if you want," I joked. An atmosphere of relief set upon the four of us and smiles appeared on our faces, although they did seem a little unsettled by my choice of friends but let it be, which I thanked them for, reassuring them that something like this wouldn't happen again.

"You should call your parents they have been worrying all day," my uncle told me. I had completely looked over the obvious fact that my aunt and uncle would have told them about the incident. I went into my room and onto skype. My brother, who still lived at home was online so I called him. He answered quickly.

"Fae!" My brother called out for my parents, who hurried into his room.

"Oh, Fae. Thank god you're alright!"

"I am actually very happy," I beamed at them. My sister came into the room. "A little shaken up, but happy... Emily. You're home too."

"I heard about what happened and thought I should be with the fam until we heard from you." She smiled at me. "It's good to see you. You look like you're alright."

"I'm very well. My friends and I are having the time of our lives... Well except for two of us getting kidnapped and another one getting beaten to a pulp by arses with knives. We are really happy that this is over." They made faces of worry as I mentioned the knives.

"Now you're sure these friends are worth all this trouble?" My mum asked, switching to Korean.

"Yes mum. I'm sure. Best friends I have ever had."

I showed them my bandaged wrist and we talked for a while. I got to catch up on their lives as well. They day had turned out well in the end. I was happy it had ended in Daesung's stalkers getting arrested.

_Diary entry September 30th, 2016 21:30 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Buddies and Break-ins. Here's why: I just wrote in a diary entry from earlier, so you've got some knowledge on what this is about... Also, you were there so you probably remember it pre-tty vividly. Jiyong and Seungri came to rescue us. The first thing I saw was Seungri's worried face. I can't stop thinking about that face. It brings a calm feeling to my otherwise unsettled mind right now... We got out safely, with a bit of hassle (no surprise). Outside the building, Daesung and Youngbae were waiting. One of those fucking morons had called Daesung and I found out that Jiyong and Hyunwoo are old friends. He helped out today. It's all good now. We're all better than ever... Just a little shocked of course. And btw my wrist got fucked up by a chair. It'll get better soon. I feel odd but it'll pass. I'm happy. I'm actually really happy :)_

_Diary note 02:10: I think the reality of the situation just hit me. I can't sleep. I'm trying to focus on Seungri's eyes. He has very cute eyes. Never admit to that Fae Hunter._

_Days left in Korea: 254_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayo! Thanks for reading. I'll try to get three chapters ready to post at the end of the week to make up for the lazy uploads. I'm kind of busy and my mind keeps coming up with new projects for me to work on but I really want to get some chapters out since exams are coming up in a month's time.
> 
> Love yall!
> 
> \- Freja


	11. Ball gowns and Bleak Boyfriends

~~~~Seungri: Fae, I need your help.

Fae: With what?

Seungri: Are you free now? I can pick you up if you want.

Fae: I'm always free for you babe ;)

Seungri: I'll be there in a couple of minutes.

_Wonder what that's about._

I put my phone in my pocket and changed quickly out of my pyjamas, wondering why Seungri hadn't played along with my joke like he usually would. I got dressed in my back to the future t-shirt with my black jeans and a pair of black and red socks. I decided a jacket wasn't needed. I would soon regret this as it was November and quite cool outside, to say the least. I walked down the stairs in my trusty, once fancy, now worn, black leather boots that were my favourite pair of shoes. Seungri was leaning up against his car with folded arms, looking stressed.

"Were you in the area when you called cause that was damn quick?"

"Yeah... You look good by the way," he spoke in a monotone voice. I thanked him, making sure to give him a puzzled look before entering the car with him. "What did you need help with then?" I looked at him. He threw an envelope in my lap. I looked at the front. It had his name on it in very fancy writing. I pulled out the letter. It was in the same unreadable font. I had to concentrate to read what it said.

_Dear Lee Seunghyun, son._

_We invite you to join us at our company's 30-year anniversary. We have prepared a big celebration for the three decades as Lee &Park Industries and our rise to the leading industry in furniture. There will be a lovely menu and a line-up of entertainment including music. We would be thrilled to see you there Saturday the 21st of January 19:00 at the Lee&Park Industries headquarters._

_We hope you can attend._

_Mr Lee & Mr Park._

_This is a plus one invitation._

I looked up at Seungri.

"And you want me... Or your girlfriend as your plus one?" I asked, catching on quickly.

"Turn the letter." There was a short piece of text signed by his mother.

_Do bring your girlfriend. I would love to meet her._

_Mother._

"She's not going to let it go. You're going to have to come," he told me.

"Okay. That's what friends are for." I smiled at him, deciding that I might as well do it.

"Wow. Thanks." He relaxed at my words and even smiled shortly. "We need to prepare for this. You need a long dress and high heels. We're also going to have to pretend to be together."

"The first bit I'm a little afraid of, but, I mean, we already pretend to be a couple half the time, so that shouldn't be a problem." He chuckled at this.

"When we do it, it's obviously as a joke. This time we have to be convincing."

"I'll be convincing," I told him with a smug expression on my face. I got kind of excited about it, which surprised me. It was going to be fun pretending to be someone else for a night. We arrived at his place. He still looked a little tense on the way up to the top floor. "Is it a burden having to go to these things?"

"Yes. I don't like being surrounded by snobs. My parents are on the nicer side. I mean they even let my friends, who are definitely not families of any importance, move in with me. Most of the other families think very highly of themselves and 'their kind'." He scrunched up his nose.

"I know the type. Went to school with the children of one of the richest Scottish families for a while, until they changed schools because we were not worthy of them or some shit." We exited the elevator and walked down the hall. The door opened and Daesung and Youngbae stuck their heads out. Light ran to us. I sat down on the floor and greeted him with funny noises, that caused a scoff from Seungri. I stood back up as Daesung and Youngbae approached me.

"Hi Fae!" They sang in unison, optimistic as always. With one glance at them, anyone would be smiling like an idiot. There was something special and innocent about their happiness.

"Hi sweeties. How's it going?"

"We're doing so good here!" Daesung said and Youngbae nodded.

"Now boys, I need your help with this." Seungri waved the letter in the air. They understood immediately and shuffled awkwardly next to each other stiffly before saluting.

"Yes sir." I had a feeling they had been practising this while Seungri was out picking me up.

"You can be yourselves," Seungri laughed. It was good for Seungri's grumpy days to have these two bombs of happiness living with him. His mood had changed suddenly from their goofy act. "So Fae," he began, facing me again. "I need to make sure you know how to behave." He smirked.

"Oh my word." I put one hand on my hip and the other I used to hold my face.

"Let's see what you can do if you think you're so good. Sit on the sofa and we'll start from exiting the car." I sat down confidently on the sofa and waited. "What are you waiting for?"

"Aren't you supposed to open the door for me. It wouldn't be ladylike to just storm out by myself." It was my time to smirk now, feeling the feminist in me getting a little passive aggressive over the whole scenario. He glared at me as he went to my side of the sofa and pretended to open the car door. I stepped out of the imaginary car and put my arm in his that was waiting. He corrected the position of my still bandaged hand, very careful not to hurt me and lead the way forward to behind the sofa where Youngbae and Daesung were sticking up their noses with their fingers and doing weird hand gestures pretending to be guests.

"Now on top of having to greet these people, we will also train trying to keep a poker face even if someone says something incredibly absurd that makes you want to laugh... Or cry. You only laugh when they want you to." I nodded, trying my best not to laugh at the two idiots in front of us. We moved over to Youngbae and he shook Seungri's hand.

"What do I do?" I suddenly got unsure.

"You curtsy."

"So no handshaking?"

"Yes shake their hand too. Some men will take your hand and kiss it as they bow, but that's not everyone, only the most perverted."

"Reassuring." I curtsied and Youngbae bowed. He took my hand and kissed it. I grinned back at the cheeky smile spread on his face.

"Poker face," Seungri told me as we moved on to Daesung. My face went serious again. "Small smiles are allowed. You don't want to seem too closed." I nodded and curtsied to Daesung as well. He too took my hand and kissed it. I gave him a small smile, holding in my laughter. We repeated this with them a few times before Seungri decided it was time to move to the dancing part.

"Now this I know... Be careful with my hand though," I said and put one hand on his shoulder and another hand in his. He nodded.

"Follow my lead," Seungri told me and Youngbae started the music before running to Daesung on the sofa, where they could watch us closely. Seungri led the way. It was a little messy to begin with but I quickly got into the rhythm, having done this plenty of times back in Scotland. His eyes were so pretty. I found myself getting lost in them as I had tended to do in my own thoughts at night, making me unable to sleep.

"Wow, that was harder than I thought with my hand and all."

"Is it getting better?" Daesung asked me curiously.

"A lot, but it's a slow process and I keep doing things that make it worse because I'm an idiot." Daesung chuckled. He had suffered a lot from the fact that all of us had been running around with smaller injuries. Jiyong's eye had even been all over the internet. People had tried figuring out what happened. Somehow someone had found out that it had to do with that gang that was bothering Daesung. A story was made up to make him look good and people had slowly moved on from the drama intact with Jiyong's black eye fading.

"I'm glad to hear that," Seungri said. "If it's too much for you, we can just not dance at the party."

"No, it's fine it'll be even better then," I smiled, sitting down on the coffee table.

"The only thing left now is the outfit. We'll have to go shopping for that soon."

"We could do it now it's only... 11 am... How early did you text me? Damn you Seungri."

"I went to get you as soon as I had read the letter... Sorry, sleepyhead." He ruffled my hair.

I slid the curtain away and showed off the first dress that had been chosen for me by Seungri and the woman in the shop. It was a huge ball gown and so disgustingly pink that Youngbae flinched. Daesung and Seungri looked disgusted, so did I.

"No need for words. I'm trying the next one." I left and put on a slightly less puke provoking dress. This one was black and tight. It parted on the side just beneath the knee. It was classy. I stepped out. Once again.

"This is so much better," I said sighing.

"This one is pretty," Daesung said and Youngbae nodded. Seungri studied the dress without a word. Our eyes met. He smiled and nodded approvingly. "Okay let's see if any of the other ones can compete with this sexy thang," I joked, walking back in the dressing room. I put a looser dress that gathered at the waist. It had a complicated pattern on it and it was black and red. I came out again. They nodded simultaneously but I sensed that the previous dress was more of a hit. I went back without a word. I put on a dress that showed clear cleavage. It was black as well and a little too slutty for my taste. I came out looking disgusted. All three looked, widened their eyes and looked away. I burst out laughing. It was obvious they tried hard not to stare down the cleavage that the dress created.

"I'll just go back. This is too much," I laughed and went back in to put on a dress that I had been excited to try on. It was olive green and had a mock turtleneck. It reached my ankles and parted slightly at the bottom on the back. The sleeves reached mid upper arm. The most important thing was that it was made of velvet. Good velvet. I zipped it up with some struggle and came back out. I was beaming. It felt really comfortable and looked great in my opinion. Seungri was smiling back at me. Daesung and Youngbae were giving me the thumbs up.

"Looks just right," Seungri said, still smiling.

"It's very pretty," I beamed as I looked down at myself.

"Now for the shoes." I sighed. I had feared this.

"Try these."

"But the heels are like proper stilettos. They're so thin. I will actually break both them and my ankles," I argued and Seungri put them away.

"These." He gave me some with a thicker heel and less chance of me breaking them. I tried them on and walked around, feeling a little shaky. "That looks good."

"But it's so hard." The shop assistant chuckled at me. Seungri glared at her, making her look away.

"How about these?" Youngbae asked. He held out a pair of black boots with a steady, thick heel. "They look steady and they're classy." Seungri snatched them from Youngbae's hands and helped me put them on. I nodded, instantly feeling steadier.

"Graceful." Seungri ruffled my hair for the second time that day and looked at me with a spark in his eye that I smiled at.

"Beautiful Fae," Daesung smiled at me. I grinned widely. Youngbae nodded his head in agreement and so did Seungri.

"I think our Fae is the prettiest girl in the world," said Youngbae. I softly smiled at him before going back to change into my normal clothes and came out, sighing in relief.

"Ah comfy," I commented as I came back out.

"And yet you look better than ever," Seungri said. I was surprised to feel warmth rush to my cheeks. All those compliments were a little overwhelming.

"What's with all these compliments today?" I asked and they just shrugged. "Is something going on?" I looked around at the three of them and Seungri thanked the lady as he put his wallet back in his coat pocket.

"No you're just our Fae," he said and put his arm around me as we exited the shop. The shop assistant looked enviously after me. I chuckled to myself.

"That was a lot of fun," I laughed getting into the front seat of the car.

"Let's get Seunghyun and Jiyong to come so they can see her new outfit!" Daesung said excitedly.

"I'll call them!" Youngbae exclaimed loudly from the backseat. He had just received a phone from Jiyong and had been calling us at random times just to say hi and then hang up before we could answer.

"Hello Jiyong! Come to our place to see Fae's outfit for Seungri's dad's company's party! Bye!" He hung up happily.

"You know Youngbae, maybe you should let Jiyong answer before you hang up," I said. He called him back.

"I'm sorry I forgot to let you answer. It's because I'm excited about my new phone." There was a short pause. "Oh okay... Okay... See you soon!" He hung up again.

"What did he say?"

"Jiyong will show me how to do face time," Youngbae said, happy as ever. He was never the one to speak the most out of the six of us. He was always running around with Daesung, who was talking all the time and Youngbae would nod along to what he said. Since Jiyong had given him that phone he had been talking more than ever.

"They're both coming," Youngbae said when his phone call with Seunghyun had ended. We arrived back at their flat and they rushed me into the bathroom with the dress and the shoes. I put it on and stood in front of the mirror. I didn't feel ugly. I was glad we didn't get an over the top dress. This dress was very classy and fit my figure well. It had never been my style with the extravagant dresses and layers of makeup. I fiddled with my hair. There wasn't much that I could do with short hair like mine. It was just long enough to make into a ponytail, which made my fringe look cute. I stuck my head out of the bathroom.

"Honey... Seungri baby. Is makeup a must at this party?"

"Let's just pretend it isn't my love because..." There was a pause. "You look much better without it." He had come right up from behind the door and grinned at me.

"You're a babe." I kissed his cheek and grinned back at him. I gestured for him to enter the bathroom with me. "Should I put my hair up like this?" I showed him what I had tried before.

"That's nice," he said and folded his arms. I nodded, making the decision that this was the hairdo I would go with for the party. "You look really beautiful." He winked and walked out.

_Be careful this joke-relationship thing doesn't go too far. He's still broken._

"Have anything I can eat? I'm fucking starving." I stuck my head into their refrigerator.

"I have some leftovers. There might be enough for all of us." Seungri joined me in the kitchen.

"Let's eat that." I sat down on a kitchen counter and watched with anticipation as Seungri warmed up the pasta. Youngbae and Daesung sat on each side of me while Light was running around in the kitchen, looking possessed as always.

"Light," Youngbae called. He stopped his shuffling around for a second, looking over at Youngbae before running to him. "Sit." He did as he was told. "Good boy." The doorbell rang, which made Light run over to the door. Youngbae went after him to buzz in whoever was there.

"Yo," Youngbae said.

"Jiyong and Seunghyun here." They were let into the building. I waddled to the door, sticking my head out of the door to greet them.

"Hi there." I beamed at them as they walked down the hall.

"Look at that lovely hair on our lovely Fae," Jiyong said to Seunghyun as they got closer. They came to the door and I stood up to show off my full outfit. "Wow miss fancy pants," Seunghyun said looked impressed, giving me a hug. "The dress is very classy, but not too much. Good choice honey," Jiyong pointed out in a joking voice. "Now Youngbae. I'm gonna go into the bathroom and you'll go into your bedroom and I will face time you okay?"

"Okay." He hurried to the bedroom. I went back into the kitchen, where the pasta was ready. Daesung was already sitting on the kitchen counter, eating. I joined him there and so did Seungri.

"We sit on tables a lot," I noted.

"Chairs are not for us... They're too ordinary. Ordinary isn't really our thing," Seunghyun said with a smirk. He leant on the counter.

"You're damn right about that," I said with my mouth full of pasta. They all laughed.

"It definitely looks strange with a Fae in a long fancy dress, eating pasta like there's no tomorrow on a kitchen counter with three guys standing around her," Seungri grinned. I grinned back.

"That's my style," I shrugged and continued eating. Soon Youngbae and Jiyong came back. "It's in two months-ish right?" Seungri nodded. "I'll be a pro by then. Don't you worry about a thing." Jiyong and Seunghyun snorted in unison.

"Sure," Jiyong teased me.

"I will prove you wrong." I pointed my fork at him.

"We need to make sure your couple act is convincing though," he said pointing back at me.

"We just have to hold hands and lean on each other and stuff." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Not that simple," Jiyong said. Seunghyun shook his head at me. "You have to have a backstory. How did you meet? How long have you been together? All this. You need to make sure that's in place. Remember to decide what kind of couple you are so you both know how to act. There's a lot of coordination involved."

"Okay..." I said, taking my time to think. "We've been together for 9 months. We're getting serious, but we've still got a bit of that new couple vibe left and we won't get any questions about marriage. We met a rainy night in the streets of Seoul. I was walking home in the evening and I didn't have an umbrella. You saw me and offered to share and follow me home. It puts you in good light as a gentleman. We're a happy couple and we are serious about our relationship. One of those you know will last when you see them together."

"Impressive," Jiyong said.

"You might do well," Seunghyun cheekily smiled.

"Might... I'm gonna slay."

_Diary entry November 6th, 2016 23:30 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Ball gowns and Bleak Boyfriends. Here's why: I've been invited to a company anniversary with Seungri. It's for his father's company. I'm playing his girlfriend. We practised manners and bought a dress and boots... With heels. DUN DUN DUUUN. How will I survive future Fae? I have no idea. It was a great day either way. Seungri told me not to wear makeup to the party because I look better without it. He's a sweetie. Smooth with the ladies. It'll be a fun night. Goodnight future Fae._

_ps. Seungri is adorable when grumpy._

_Days left in Korea: 217_


	12. Big children and Balls of snow

My ringing phone woke me up.

“Fae! Put on your warm clothes and come outside. We’re on our way. It’s snowing!” Daesung squealed through the phone. I shot up and looked out of the window.

“I’m ready in ten minutes.” I hung up. I was out of bed in seconds, scattering around for a long-sleeved shirt, trousers, warm socks and a thin sweater. I passed by the kitchen, grabbing a quick piece of toast. I brushed my teeth anything but thoroughly before rushing towards the snow outside. By the door, I found a warm coat, gloves and a good, warm woolly hat. I hurried down the stairs while buttoning up my coat. Opening the door, I spotted Daesung, Youngbae, Seungri and Jiyong running down the street. I beamed at them.

“We’re getting Seunghyun next,” Seungri told me with a huge smile on his face and took my hand. We all ran to Seunghyun’s place and rang his doorbell. He looked out of the window at the five of us, still standing in the darkness of the winter morning. It was quiet out for a morning in Seoul.

“I’m coming right down,” he shouted with his beanie half on.

“Thanks for calling.” I swung my arm around Seungri’s shoulder.

“Where do we go?” Seunghyun asked as he stepped out of his door.

“How about the park?” Youngbae asked adjusting his woolly hat. We agreed on that and Seungri once again took my hand and ran towards the nearest park. I held onto it tightly. I jumped over the gate to the park and ran into a big patch of untouched snow. We had all transformed into five-year-olds experiencing snow for the first time. I felt a hit on my back. I turned around to find Daesung grinning at me from a few meters away.

“You’re dead,” I grinned and picked up a handful of snow. I pushed it together and threw it after him. The others soon realised that a snowball fight was happening. “Guys guys! Let’s make this a real game.” I grinned at all of them as we gathered in a circle. “Okay. We split into teams of two and we play on this half of the park, so it’s a big area. When we begin we all have thirty seconds to run, make snowballs or whatever we want without anyone being allowed to shoot. Then we begin.” I smirked at all the five boys standing around me.

“Okay. Let’s divide the teams then,” Jiyong said and took a hold of Seunghyun. They smirked at each other. Seungri looked at me. I nodded. Daesung and Youngbae did the same.

“Two lives per person,” Seunghyun said and we all nodded. We stood in the middle of a big grass field away from all cover. Seungri counted down from three. He took my hand at one and ran at go. We hurried for the playground and went up into a tower.

“Let’s make a few snowballs in advance if we get attacked here.” We made a smaller pile of snowballs.

“One of us should stand guard at all times,” Seungri said and went to the highest point of our base. He ducked a little as he looked out trying to spot any of the others. “I see Seunghyun and he sees me. Jiyong might be close. Stay alert,” Seungri reported from the tower not taking his eyes off Seunghyun. I made a new snowball and kept it in my hand as I looked out for Jiyong. I spotted the top of his head from the other side of the playground behind a small climbing wall. I sent him an evil smirk as our eyes locked.

“Jiyong spotted behind the climbing wall. I’m keeping my eyes on him. What’s the report on Seunghyun?”

“He’s slowly nearing. Still outside the playground.” As he said this Jiyong went into action he ran towards us.

“Jiyong is moving towards us at a fast pace. I will take care of this keep your eyes on Seunghyun. It’s an obvious distraction.” I reported to Seungri getting a second snowball ready. Preparing to take both his lives. I shot the first snowball at him.

Miss.

I threw the second.

Hit.

“Jiyong has one life left,” I told Seungri and hurried to get another pre-made snowball ready. When I came back up Jiyong threw a snowball at me. He hit me. “I’m hit!” I shouted to Seungri and hurried up to him. He took my hand.

“Seunghyun is getting closer.” I could hear steps on the bottom of the tower.

“Fuck. He’s coming.”

“What do you say we get the fuck out of here?” Seungri asked. I nodded. We ran down the opposite direction of where the footsteps came from. Seunghyun ran into the playground after us. I had one snowball left in my hand. He was getting closer. I threw it after him.

“Another hit! Damn, I’m on fire today,” I laughed and ran forwards with Seungri. We soon lost them as we hid behind a bundle of huge trees.

“You were hit?” He asked me holding onto my arm. I nodded. “I’ll make sure you won’t take any more hits.” He smiled and we got back up with newly made snowballs. I spotted Youngbae and Daesung. They were in a tree. I pointed to them. We snuck over there. When we had gotten close enough Seungri threw a snowball at them. It hit Daesung.

“No!” He yelled. Youngbae was quick to throw a snowball towards us. I was once again hit.

“No. Nononono!” Seungri yelled as I let myself fall to the ground. He picked me up and I relaxed all the muscles in my body trying to act dead. “I will revenge this!” He yelled. Seunghyun and Jiyong came from behind him. He was one against four. He put me down in the soft snow and I was lying there peeking up at what was happening. Seungri made two quick snowballs and threw one at Jiyong and one at Seunghyun. Both hit. Jiyong fell to the ground and crawled over to me.

“Hi Fae,” he whispered.

“Heyo,” I whispered back.

“He’s really fighting for you huh?”

“He’s on my team. He will fight till the end,” I said proudly as we watched the scene unfold before us. Seungri continued to throw and dodge. He was hit by Daesung. He hit Seunghyun, who crawled to us.

“Good teammate you’ve got there,” he whispered to me. I nodded proudly. “What’s the current status?”

“Seungri: 1, Daesung: 1, Youngbae: 2,” I answered. Seungri hit Daesung again. He climbed down and sat next to us. Once again Seungri dodged a snowball and hit Youngbae.

“Now it’s getting intense,” Daesung said as he watched Youngbae jump down from the tree and gracefully land in the snow. They stood in front of each other. They each held one snowball in their right hand. Seungri did not waste time. He threw his and hit Youngbae right in the chest. I got up and cheered all the way into Seungri’s arms. He spun me around. Daesung patted Youngbae on the shoulder. Jiyong and Seunghyun stayed seated.

“We’ll that was fun.” Seunghyun stated and got up. “Hot chocolate at my place. Who’s up?” We all were of course.

_Diary entry December 22nd 22:30 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will be titled Big children and Balls of snow. Here’s why: It snowed today!! First time I’ve experienced snow in Korea. I bet you’ve experienced it many times by now future Fae. They came and got me in front of my door. We then all went and got Seunghyun. We had a huge snowball fight in the park. We split up into teams of two: Seunghyun & Jiyong, Daesung & Youngbae, Seungri and I. When I died, Seungri fought for me. We won. We had the best morning. Merry Christmas and goodnight future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 171_


	13. Bitches and BDSM

It had been half a year since I came to Seoul and now I was lying in bed, unable to sleep from the thoughts of tomorrow. I was going to the 30-year anniversary of one of the biggest companies in Korea with the son of the founder. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. I glanced over at my phone, considering.

Three rings.

“Hello?”

“Did I wake you?”

“Mhm.”

“I’m scared. I can’t sleep.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve no doubt you’re gonna wow them all with your beautiful mind.”

_Don’t blush at that Fae._

“I’m glad I get to stay with you the whole night. That makes it less nerve-racking.”

“Just think about that. I promise you that it will be okay. Get some sleep, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“See you tomorrow Fae bae.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“You know I won’t.”

“Yeah, I do. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

My aunt and uncle, as well as my parents, had been very impressed that I had important friends, having met a few under quite unfortunate circumstances.

“So you’re pretending to be his girlfriend,” Emily laughed at me through Skype.

“I know it sounds ridiculous. The situation is more complicated than just that.”

“We have time,” Jake pointed out.

“But I don’t. He’s picking me up in 5 minutes. How do I look?” I stood up to show them my dress.

“Very cute,” my sister said. “Is your guy cute too?” Her lips grew into a cheeky grin.

“First of all, he’s not ‘my guy’. Second of all… Yeah,” I laughed as secured my small ponytail in a carefully picked out hairband.

“I’m leaving,” Jake said, getting up from his chair. Emily pulled him back down. “She’s leaving in a few minutes. Just stay and enjoy her company while you can.”

“I was only kidding.” He hit her playfully.

“Now you two,” I laughed at them. I heard the door open behind me.

“Hey,” I turned around to find Seungri looking amazing in a navy-blue suit and with a casually opened top button of his white shirt. I smiled at him.

“Hey good looking,” I flirted, forgetting my siblings, who were now snickering behind me. I turned back around when I heard them.

“When I come back home...” I threatened in Korean. “I’m going now you freaks,” I laughed and they said goodbye. They were still snickering when I ended the call.

“Were they your siblings?” Seungri asked, coming up behind me and I nodded.

“Horrible creatures, but I couldn’t live without them.” I threw my arms around his neck. “Hey,” I smiled.

“Hey,” he smiled back, putting a daring hand on my hip.

“You look handsome,” I stated. He didn’t answer, instead, he winked at me. “Cheeky.” I took his hand and we walked out of my room.

"Goodbye, we're leaving now. I think I’m crashing at Seungri’s place afterwards so I’ll just see you tomorrow.” They looked up at me with loving smiles on their faces. 

“You look so pretty,” my aunt smiled. I thanked her shyly and we left my flat.

“Might as well start now.” He opened the car door for me with a knowing grin. I went in and he shut the car door behind me. He went around and sat in the driver’s seat.

“Okay, let's do this," I nodded my head determinedly.

“Fighting,” Seungri exclaimed, throwing a fist in the air.

“Fighting,” I repeated.We stopped in front of a huge building with the Lee&Park industries logo on the front. It wasn’t far from Seungri’s home. We parked in one of the preserved spots. I stayed put, remembering what we had practised in the cosy surroundings of Seungri’s flat. The reality of the situation suddenly hit me as I looked up at the big fancy building with Seungri’s last name on it.

We stopped in front of a huge building with the Lee&Park industries logo on the front. It wasn’t far from Seungri’s home. We parked in one of the preserved spots. I stayed put, remembering what we had practised in the cosy surroundings of Seungri’s flat. The reality of the situation suddenly hit me as I looked up at the big fancy building with Seungri’s last name on it.

“Thank you,” I winked as we were still in some privacy. He winked back and I put my arm in his as rehearsed and we walked inside, thankfully without any trouble with the stairs and the heels.

_So far so good._

I took a deep breath as I looked at the sea of chairs inside. I would have to be really convincing tonight. His parents and, I guessed, Mr Park and his wife stood by the door greeting everyone.

“Son.” His father smiled widely as soon as he spotted Seungri and hugged him tightly and before I could even think about greeting him he brought me into a hug as well.

“It’s good to see you again. You look beautiful,” he smiled at me.

“Thank you, Mr Lee,” I smiled back at him. I was relieved to find that he was so friendly and relaxed.

“It’s so wonderful to meet you,” Seungri’s mother told me as she greeted me with a handshake.

“It’s nice to meet you too Mrs. Lee.”  We moved on to Mr and Mrs Park and formally greeted them. We went around and greeted everyone with success.

“That went rather well,” he leant in and whispered.

“Quite the success. Where do we sit?” I looked at him.

“Somewhere near the front.”

“Perks of being a rich kid," I whispered

"More or less everyone here is filthy rich so, for once, your argument is invalid." We laughed quietly together as we walked to the front looking at the small cards with names on them, trying to find our own.

“Look there.” He pointed to two cards next to each other with our names on them. We sat down as the first ones at the round table. “There’s a little game I like to play with myself when I’m at these things,” Seungri said leaning his elbows on his thighs. “Spot the wife who’s in it for the money.” He grinned and I looked over at the entrance where posh people entered one of after the other, most with a partner on the arm.

“That woman there. Look how lightly she is holding his arm. She’s keeping a small distance from him. She seems a little disgusted by him,” I told him, discreetly pointing.

“You’re good. That seems right… Now that couple is easy. She’s waaaay too young to marry that oldie without it being for the money,” Seungri said.

“Age is just a number.” He gave me a _do-you-even-have-eyes_ look. He did have a point. “True,” I gave in. We continued this game for a while until people were finding their seats around us. Seungri informed me that most of the people sitting at our table were family. At the table next to us sat Seungri’s parents and the Parks. I took Seungri’s hand as I felt overwhelmed by the whole scenario and all the people that seemed to be gathering around the huge room. He gave me a reassuring smile and kissed me on the cheek as planned back at the flat. I remembered Seunghyun’s exact words.

_“You also have to kiss her cheek a few times to make it seem extra real.”_

He smiled at me once again before the lights dimmed. Mr Park and Mr Lee appeared on stage, causing everyone to clap. They presented the night’s program for us. As they left they took a piece of the big red curtain behind them and pulled away as they walked. Behind it was a woman, looking very retro and a man by a piano. He played a cheerful melody as the woman sang. I had expected a little bit of a culture shock and was quite relieved to find that it was enjoyable to watch. Seungri was leaning a little my way for the whole song and it subconsciously calmed me down. As the song ended waiters came out, serving us appetisers and poured wine into our glasses.

“So you are Seunghyun’s girlfriend?” A woman next to me asked. I nodded calmly meanwhile my brain was working at top speed, thinking of all the things I had to do as well as trying not to freak out.

“Yes, I am,” I said putting my head on his shoulder as rehearsed. He smiled at her.

“I’m his aunt. My brother is Seunghyun’s father.”

“Nice to meet you,” I smiled. Seungri let go of my hand and instead put his arm around me.

“How have you been? I heard from my father that something rather unpleasant had happened to you. Was it four months back?” Seungri asked with a spark in his eye that, to me, seemed very put on.

“Oh yes! We drove through a lower class area and witnessed a beating. a group of brutal men stood around a young man lying on the ground. It was rather barbaric,” she said with a small laugh. Seungri’s grip on my shoulder tightened and I could feel him getting irritated. “We just drove by of course. We didn’t want to get involved with those animals.” I took a deep breath and placed a hand on Seungri’s thigh. This was harder than I thought.

“What area was this?” I asked, fearing who she might have been talking about. She described the area Daesung used to live in. I hid my small sigh behind my smile and we changed the subject, knowing that this conversation would make our ears red and our blood boil if we didn’t stop it. She told us about their new yacht. I nodded along and tried to seem like it was completely normal getting rid of their old yacht for no other reason than the fact that there was a newer model.

I excused myself to the toilet, feeling fed up and in need of a break. I let go of Seungri’s hand, that I had completely forgotten I was holding. My hand was all clammy from the long time I had been holding his hand. It started to prickle longingly. I went into the women’s bathroom and into a stall. The fanciest toilet I had ever been in. I leant up against the wall and let out a long sigh, taking a moment back in the real world before I walked out and washed my hands.

“You're Seunghyun’s girlfriend?” A girl about my age asked. I nodded, not really in the mood for more stuck up people.

“We were childhood friends. We even promised each other we’d get married one day.”

“I guess people change eh?” At this point, I gave fewer shits than Jiyong was ever able to.

“Maybe,” she smirked at me and left the bathroom.

“Bitch,” I muttered as I watched her leave. I followed behind and found her walking towards Seungri. He spotted her and looked away quickly, engaging in conversation with his aunt that suddenly seemed to be a lot more interesting to him than it had been all night. She sat down in my chair, leaning close to Seungri. I came over and stood by Seungri.

“Oh, I’m sorry there’s no room for you now.” She sent me a fake smile that I ignored. I looked down at Seungri, who seemed to feel just a big of an urge to tease her as I did.

“That’s no problem. You can just sit here babe.” Seungri patted his lap and I sat down with my arm around him. He put one hand on my thigh and the other one around my waist before kissing my cheek sweetly.

“You two are so sweet. I must ask how you met!” His aunt exclaimed happily.

“Well… It was a rainy night in Seoul and I was walking with my umbrella. I saw Fae here trying to shield from the pouring rain with her jacket. I offered to walk her home under my umbrella. She accepted and it was just impossible for me not to see her again.” We grinned at each other and I kissed his forehead.

“How long have you been together?” Miss Bitch asked.

“7 months,” I informed

“7 amazing months,” Seungri corrected and bit his lip as he was smiling at me. Our extreme sugar coating had the girl excuse herself. We giggled quietly to ourselves. I didn’t think of getting down from his lap before tables were moved to the side for people to dance. Mr and Mrs Park went out onto the dance floor and moved gracefully to the music. Soon Seungri’s parents joined in.

“Care for a dance?” I asked him. I stretched my hand out. He carefully took a hold of my bad hand that was no longer bandaged but still sensitive.

“I’m glad it’s almost healed now,” he smiled and kissed my forehead. I put my other hand on his shoulder. He spun me around, making me grin like an idiot.

“I’m actually having a good time now."

“Me too. Thanks for going with me.”

“Like I could say no to you.”

Spin.

“I am quite irresistible.”

“Don’t get too cocky now Mr.”

“Don’t be so boring Fae bae.”

“I will stuff that nickname up your hole if you don’t stop using it.”

“Kinky.”

Wink.

“I am pretty kinky.”

“Not surprising.”

“I bet you’re into some real weird shit though.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Some BDSM thing with whips and shit.”

“I’m not Christian Grey just because I’m rich. Sorry to disappoint.”

“You can never disappoint, Seungri.”

The song ended and our little bubble burst. We became aware of our surroundings. Music played once again and I grabbed a hold of Seungri’s hand. He chuckled, bringing his hand around my waist. As songs went by our bubble grew thicker. I had let go of his hand, both of them placed around the back of his neck. We spoke quietly to each other as we danced, finding the night to be a lot more fun than how it had started out.

“Why don’t you two go and talk to the other kids.” Seungri’s mother and father danced past us.

“No thanks mum.”

“Oh come on. Look how they’re all staring at you.” We both looked to see about ten pairs of eyes staring at us.

“Oh goodness,” Seungri looked at me. I raised my eyebrows as I put my hand into his and walked towards the table.

“What’s up? Why aren’t you out dancing?” He asked the table cheerfully. He sat down in a chair, pulling me down on his lap before I had a chance to sit down anywhere else. There were a few mumbles from around the table.

_Tough crowd._

“So what do you do Fae?” A kind looking girl asked me.

_Fuck… What is it that I do? I knew we would forget something._

“She’s an amateur photographer at the moment. She’s looking for good schools to get into.” Seungri saved my arse.

“What kind of photography?”

“I’m experimenting with a bit of everything. Landscapes, portraits, effects. All that.” I made it sound as casual as possible.

“You two are adorable,” she commented with a genuine smile. She moved closer to us and pushed up her round glasses.

“Thanks,” I said smiling brightly at her.

“Are you here with your parents?” I asked her.

“Yeah, my dad is head of one of the biggest departments here.”

“How exciting,” one of the other girls said sarcastically. I smiled at her letting her know I actually did find it exciting.

“That’s cool. You didn’t bring a date?”

“No, I didn’t know anyone;" she frowned.

“I might know someone for you.” I smiled warmly at her. “He’s as pretty as Seungri here,” I smiled and put my arm around Seungri.

“His name is Seunghyun,” one of the girls interrupted again.

“Not to me,” I beamed and kissed his cheek. He beamed at me.

“Now that we’re on names. What’s yours?”

“My name is Sunhee”

“Who were you talking about? As pretty as me. You know that’s not possible.” He joked and I pushed his head playfully.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Am not.”

“I love you,” I laughed.

_That wasn’t rehearsed… I’m just really into this role. It’s not like I mean it…_

“Love you too babe.”

At this point, the party slowly died down as we were drinking wine and chatting with Sunhee. We decided that we had had enough at around 2 am. We said goodbye to Seungri’s parents and walked outside. I shivered at the coldness of the January night.

“This is so lovely. I wish we could walk home.”

“We can. One second.” He walked back into the building and came back out. “My dad is getting someone to drive it home.”

“Wow, maybe I should just keep pretending to be your girlfriend and marry you for the money,” I joked and hooked my arm in his.

“It was fun kind of fun tonight when you think about it.”

“Yeah. I enjoyed dancing with you and Sunhee was so cute… One second.” I stopped. My feet hurt like hell wearing those shoes. I took them off, letting out a long sigh.

“Were they hard on you?” I nodded as I picked them up and continued to walk.

“You good? Sure you won’t get too cold like that?” He asked me gesturing towards my now bare feet.

“It’s okay,” I reassured him even though it was quite cold walking barefoot on a cold January night like this one.

“Hold up.” We stopped once again and Seungri pushed off his own shoes. “Put these on.”

“Now you’ll just get sick and they’re too big anyway.” I looked at the shoes that must have been three sizes bigger than mine at least.

“Put them on anyway.”

“But I don’t want you to get cold either.”

“Oh come on babe.”

“Let’s just both go barefoot then,” I laughed and hooked my arm in his once again. He nodded in agreement and we walked home barefoot through the streets of upper-class Seoul.

“You told me you loved me,” he said after a short silence.

“I did.”

“Nice touch.”

“Thanks. I think we were rather convincing.”

“I’d like to think so.”

“I had a lot of wine,” I suddenly said. I could feel the alcohol hit me now that my brain had stopped focusing on acting and the cold night air hit my face.

“Me too. It’s probably good that I’m not driving.”

“I think you’re a good boyfriend. It’s a shame you had to have such a fucked up girlfriend. If I was your girlfriend I would shower you with love because that’s what you deserve.” I looked up at him.

“Be my girlfriend for a little while longer then. Just till we go to sleep. I could use some love.”

“Okay.” I kissed his nose. “I can do that.” I put my head on his shoulder. His hand found mine and he entwined his fingers with mine.“My toes are getting really cold.” He stopped and put on his shoes. He then stood with his back facing me.

“Hop on.” I pulled up my dress so I could get my legs around him and I sat on his back holding my shoes in one hand and used the other one to hold onto him.

“Thanks, Seungri.”

“Anything for Fae bae,” he chuckled.

He carried me all the way to the elevator, where he put me down and pressed the button. I glanced at him and an urge, that I hadn’t felt quite this strong before, bubble up inside of me. The wine told me to go with it. I turned to face Seungri, put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him in for a short kiss.

Heart flutter. Fireworks. Cheering. Butterflies in my stomach. Tingles in private places. Sparkles. Brain exploding.

“I felt that was somehow needed.” I turned back so we were standing shoulder to shoulder. The silence in the elevator was deafening. My heart was beating fast.

_You are such a fucking idiot Fae._

“As your boyfriend for the night… I’m gonna let myself do some more of that.” Seungri pulled my body closer to his and kissed me with more passion than before. I brought my hands up to cup his face. His lips were soft and gentle against mine. The elevator doors opened with a small ding sound and we awkwardly pulled away from each other.

“Let’s… Go in.” We walked down the hall that seemed longer than ever tonight. Not a word was said. All that was heard were the keys in Seungri’s hand. He unlocked the door and allowed me to step inside first and set my shoes down on the floor.

“Fae I… I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t say sorry. I started it.” I was glad the lights were off because my face was going red. He wrapped his arms around me and pushed my back against his chest.

“It was nice though,” I whispered. He nodded slowly.

“Let’s get to bed.” I went into one of the spare rooms and pulled off my dress. I had once again borrowed Seungri’s clothes to sleep in. There was a knock on the door. Unexpectedly I found Daesung standing there with a tight grip around his pillow.

“Did we wake you up?” I asked worriedly.

“No. I couldn’t sleep. I’m scared Fae.” I pulled him in for a hug.

“No need to be scared. We’re all here for you.” I pushed some of the fringe out of his face.

“I fell asleep once but I had a bad dream.”

“What was it about? Come, we’ll get you some water while we talk.” I took his hand and he followed me into the kitchen while he spoke.

“She was there. The girl I loved. I dreamt that they killed her and I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t move no matter how hard I tried.” A tear fell down his cheek.

“Come here Daesung.” I pulled him in for another hug. Seungri came into the kitchen.

“You okay Daesung?” He rushed to us. Daesung nodded and wiped away his tears while I poured him a glass of water. He downed it all in one go.

“Do you want us to sit with you until you fall asleep?” I brushed the hair out of his face again and caressed his cheek.

“If it’s not too much to ask.”

“We were up anyway,” I smiled. We followed Daesung into his room. He got into bed and I sat on a chair next to him. Seungri sat on the edge of the bed, smiling warmly down at Daesung.

“Talk about something. I’ll just listen,” he demanded with closed eyes. I stared blankly at Seungri. He stared blankly back at me.

“I had fun tonight.” I thought of the kiss only as the words exited my mouth.

“I did too. If they invite me to something like this again, you’re going.”

“I thought so,” I chuckled. “What do your parents think of me?”

“They like you. My dad told me he thought you were very down to earth. He likes that. I guess you need people like that when all you are constantly surrounded by snobs who live in an alternate universe where only their wealth matters.”

“Good to hear. Not that it matters since I’m not really your girlfriend.” I hugged my legs awkwardly.

“We haven’t gone to bed yet,” he pointed his finger at me. I looked down at Daesung who looked to be asleep.

“Daesung?” I asked softly. No answer.

“I guess he was just that tired.” We left the room.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m his mum,” I said as I shut the door as quietly as I could.

“I feel like I live here with two sons most of the time.”

“We’re the mother and father in this group of friends and there’s nothing we can do about it.” I shrugged my shoulders in defeat and leant against the back of the sofa. “Seungri… Since I’m still your girlfriend and a little drunk I think I’m allowed to demand your lips back on mine.” I wasn’t drunk.

He took a deep breath before cupping my face with his hands and looking into my eyes with a strange look that he only seemed to ever give me. Our lips collided for the third time. My whole body felt electric as my tongue grazed his lower lip. He granted my tongue entrance and the grip he had on me tightened. I slid my hands up under his shirt and up to his chest. As I did this he leant onto me so we fell over the back of the sofa, landing softly on it. We laughed.

“What was that for?” I gave his head a light bash.

“I felt that was needed,” he mocked me.

“Piss off Seungri.” I hit him with a pillow, laughing quietly.

“Okay, okay. Sorry.”

“We should go to sleep. It’s late and we don’t want to wake up Daesung or Youngbae.” He nodded. I hugged him goodnight and I walked back to the spare room, shaking my head in shock.

_What the hell just happened?_

_Diary entry January 21st, 2017 01:45 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Bitches and BDSM. Here’s why: I guess it’s technically the 22nd… Anyway… I’m in a spare room at Seungri’s. We were at the party tonight. It was fun. We teased some girl who thought she had Seungri in the palm of her hand. Lol bish no. We danced and I found that he’s not as kinky as one would think. Maybe it’s just my prejudice towards rich kids. We decided to stay boyfriend and girlfriend the rest of the night because Seungri needs some love. :) what a babe. Then I kissed him in the elevator. It made me feel everything and nothing at the same time. Soft and perfect. I might cry ok. Then he kissed me again, but the damn elevator doors opened and interrupted us. It was awkward. Daesung was up. He had a bad dream. Poor little guy. We both sat next to his bed until he fell asleep. Then we kissed again… Now I’m here and I’m confused… Goodnight future Fae._

_Diary note 02:15 – I’m in love with Seungri. Fuck._

_Days left in Korea: 141_


	14. Boy cravings and Bad wingmen

"Someone's thirsty," Seunghyun teased as he watched me stare at every man walking by, women too, at times.

"Mhm... I mean... What?" I woke up from my trance.

"When we've had our breakfast I'm texting everyone, who are all for some reason free on Thursday mornings, in for a Fae meeting." I scoffed at this. He sent me _the eyes._

"Well here's a theory: Youngbae doesn't even know what a job is and Seungri lives off his parents' money. Jiyong has a weird ass schedule, Daesung stopped his illegal-ish work now that he moved in with Seungri and you... I actually don't know." I furrowed my eyebrows at the mystery in front of me, realising how little I actually knew about him.

"I sell my paintings."

"That's amazing. I feel like an idiot for never asking. I just... You know there's been so much other shit going on with us... Those paintings on your walls, are they yours?"

"Some of them are."

"That's really cool." He smiled a humble smile as he pulled out his phone. I got a notification.

TOP to the group BIGBANG: Fae needs dick. Wingman job tonight. Everyone free?

I looked up from my phone.

"You for real?"

"Yeah."

"I'm the best wingman in the world Fae. Leave it to me," Jiyong spoke confidently after downing his third glass of rum and coke.

"I bet you are Jiyong." This situation was ridiculous to me. That my five guy friends had all gathered together to find another guy for me to have sex with. I took a big gulp of my own drink. The more alcohol I gulped down, the less odd I found it.

"I wanna help too!" Daesung had already had three glasses of rum and coke even though he had scrunched up his face after each sip. Youngbae was drinking it like there was no tomorrow. Seungri and Seunghyun were sitting by the window and drinking slowly, enjoying the view from Jiyong's window. Seungri hadn't spoken much today... Or much in general since we had kissed that night. There had been a weird tension between us, although every day it got less and less awkward being around him. I had to admit that having him help me finding someone to fuck felt so ugly, so wrong. Especially when, frankly, I'd rather fuck him than anyone else. I had a feeling he felt the same. I had a feeling he felt sick about this idea.

"Let's go out!" I stood up, feeling drunk enough to start this. I put an arm around Seungri and the other around Seunghyun. "I got my boys. Let's get going." We shuffled into the hallway and down the stairs. The walk to our first destination wasn't long. We all scanned the bar for 'Fae's type'.

_Whatever that is._

Jiyong poked my arm and pointed to a guy sitting alone at a small table. I nodded. He went over with a _just-leave-it-to-me-I-know-what-I'm-doing_ look. We found a table in the meantime. Every five seconds we would look over to see what kind of reaction he had to whatever Jiyong was saying.

"He has a girlfriend... She came back from the toilet just when I was about to tell him about you." He dumped down next to Youngbae.

"My turn," Youngbae spoke with confidence and left the booth. We peeked discreetly at him as he spoke to a quite handsome man. He soon came back with a look of disappointment on his face.

"Yeah, no." He sat back down. Seungri looked increasingly uncomfortable.

"I need some more alcohol." I went to the bar and ordered shots for the table. I came back with 30 of them. "Five for everyone." We took them one after the other and with newfound confidence, Seungri decided to give his first go at it. I was quite shocked to see him get involved in the mission.

"I am getting you someone good cause you deserve the very best." His smile was so bittersweet. We all began to feel the alcohol boost from the shots as we watched Seungri speak to a foreign looking man. He came back soon after. "Married," Seungri sighed.

"Maybe we're in the wrong place."

"Let's hit the road!"

We went to the next bar that was a lot bigger and it had a good selection. This felt so strange. Hunting for sex like this had never been my thing. I liked the idea of speaking to someone that I felt a nice connection with and go have some casual sex with them. Maybe I was just a hopeless sexmantic, if that's even a thing. We got more drinks here, more than we should have.

"Hey, you. Fuck this girl," Seunghyun yelled after someone. The dude got scared of Seunghyun and hurried away.

"Don't scare them off Seunghyun," Daesung said and stood up from his chair. He took my hand and headed over to a guy who looked like a serious fuckboy. "This is my friend," he started laughing as he was trying to say the next sentence. "She's horny."

"Is that so?" He looked like a downright pervert.

"Daesung I'm not sure about him he seems creepy," I whispered in his ear. The man stepped towards me. He stepped closer, dancing up against me. "Please stop," I said but he kept going.

"If you don't know what stop means you can't have sex with her," Daesung angrily slurred and hurried back to the table with my hand in his.

"Abort mission," I said, making eyes. The others at the table were giggling at me. I looked to the side. A woman approached our table. "Woman at 10 o'clock. Someone here is getting lucky," I muttered so everyone could hear. They all turned to look. "Not very discreet guys."

"Hey boys." She leant forward so you could really see her cleavage. "What's your name fringe boy?" She asked Daesung. We all looked around surprised. None of us had expected her to go for our precious baby boy Daesung. He gave her a drunken grin, hiding behind his fringe.

"I'm Daesung. What's your's, baby?" He attempted to flirt. We all snickered. It quickly escalated and we all gave Daesung eyes that let him know it was okay to ditch us. She left to get her jacket and they would leave together.

"Take her home to us. It's fine. Just make sure she doesn't steal anything and for god sakes don't get your sperm anywhere other than the condom," Seungri pointed. Daesung beamed at him before walking back to the girl. They left. I pouted. We got more shitfaced. Seunghyun, Seungri and Youngbae had forgotten about the mission and stayed at the bar. Jiyong was still determined to find me a good fuck, even after all the unsettling amount of alcohol we had put into our system. We left the others at the bar to look somewhere else.

"It's fine. We're not getting anywhere." I had given up at this point, slouching down the streets.

"It's not fine. You're fucking sexy. Someone's bound to get hooked soon, who isn't a fucking pervert. We've just been unlucky. I know I would fuck you."

"Do it then. I'm too drunk to care," I laughed loudly.

"You sure about that? Cause I might just accept your offer."

"Please do. I'm getting desperate." The look in his eyes changed as he took my hand and walked back to his flat. The staircase seemed shorter than normal as I found myself inside his flat pressed up against the front door. He pushed his lips against mine. It was very sloppy. It was very wet. He led me into the bedroom without breaking the kiss, which wasn't easy. Everything was spinning with this much alcohol in my blood. He pushed me down on the bed with a smirk. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he had done this countless times before. He was used to this. I let him lead the way, too drunk to move much without somehow hurting myself or him.

He pulled off both mine and his own jacket and shirt. He knelt down to undo my shoes and the buttons of my trousers. When he came back off not only had he stripped me of everything but my underwear but himself too. He hovered above me for a second and licked his lips before bringing them down to my own. He moved down to my neck where he bit, licked and sucked. He slid a hand slowly down my underwear. I spread my legs without taking notice of it. He was slow as he slid two fingers inside of me. His smile turned into a chuckle at my surprised moans. He kept moving so slow that I impatiently thrust upwards. He pulled out his fingers, sticking them in his own mouth before pulling down his boxers. Even as drunk as I was, I didn't dare to look.

"How do you do this so smoothly when you're this drunk," I slurred as I shuffled further onto the bed.

"Practice," Jiyong drunkenly smiled and hooked a finger in the hem of my panties. He put on a condom so quickly I didn't see it happening. I was too busy being drunk and impatient. He bit my lip one last, long time before slipping himself into me. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and he groaned. I arched my back in pleasure as he moved mercilessly fast. I was surprised to find that he could keep the fast pace till the very end. I had no idea how long it took for me to come, but I did _\- hard._

I was thrown into a fit of pleasure. The intensity of my orgasm made it worth the dry streak. A long moan exited my mouth. Jiyong came but I wasn't sure if it was during my own orgasm or just after. It all kind of blended together in my clouded mind. He threw himself down next to me.

"You can crash if you'd like," he panted. I nodded my head. The alcohol and the sex had gotten my head spinning. I felt like I was unable to move, though it felt like the bed was moving. I quickly fell asleep.

I woke up instantly feeling horrible. I got up and ran to the bathroom where I threw everything up from last night. It was mostly liquid and it had a weird colour. It looked toxic and it probably was. I flushed and washed my mouth, hands and face. Jiyong was still asleep in the bedroom. I put on my undies and t-shirt. I sat down on the edge of the bed and took a few deep breaths. It did not make me feel any better.

"Why the fuck did you sleep with your friend Fae and why the fuck did you get drunk enough to let it happen." I put my face in my hands and screamed internally. I got up again and paced around the room. I had a sudden restless feeling. It did not mix well with my hangover. I got dizzy every time I turned my head just the slightest.

"What's with the walking back and forth?" Jiyong asked sticking his head up from the blankets.

"Restless," I answered and continued pacing.

"You okay?"

"Just threw up toxic waste."

"So that's a no."

Nod.

"You want some painkillers?"

Nod again.

"I'll be right back."

He put on underwear and left me to my pacing. He came back moments later with a glass of water and pills.

"Thanks."

Drink.

"Did we make a mistake?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because... Because..."

_Because of Seungri._

"You feel guilty."

"I do not."

"Towards Seungri."

Glare.

Gulp.

"Okay."

"I knew it. You like him don't you."

"Might... Maybe... Yeah."

"Sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I know. I just thought you know..."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Let's make some breakfast." He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Good idea." I followed him into the kitchen. We made toast since it seemed like the only thing we could even think about eating without gagging.

"Here you go Fae bae."

"Not you too," I cringed and sat down with my plate at his small kitchen table. There was a short pause. "Jiyong?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you know Hyunwoo?"

"Well." He sat down opposite me. "Before I became a rapper, I was getting into this gang. I did quite a lot of shoplifting, broke into places. Stuff like that. I met Hyunwoo because he was into computers and hacking. Someone of my friends in the gang knew him from that. We were introduced and we hung out. He was the only decent guy there."

"That's kind of crazy."

"Yeah, a little."

"Tell me more about your past."

"Okay... Well, Hyunwoo and I discussed the whole gang thing and we decided we didn't want to be part of it. We had seen how scary and brutal it could get. We left together. I began writing songs and I got picked up by a company. Sadly, I fell out with Hyunwoo after getting some fame. I came into this celebrity world where I didn't have any friends. All the guys wanted my money and all the girls wanted sex... And my money. I started drinking more than I should and I still do, to be honest. I wandered around a lot after these parties, half drunk and on some weird drug. That's how you found me. Thank god they didn't make me take a drug test... I wonder why..."

"Take care of your body. I love you."

"I love you too Fae. Quite frankly, you saved my life."

"You did it yourself. You just needed a little help."

"Thank you for being stubborn and patient with me."

"That's Fae for you." He chuckled.

"Uhm Fae, do we tell the others about last night?"

"I think we should. It's not like I'm Seungri's girlfriend." I put my head in my hands in embarrassment.

"Since when did this crush on Seungri become a thing?" Jiyong asked me, looking amused.

"The day we met I think, but I didn't know before a couple of weeks ago at the anniversary party." I planted my face in the table. Jiyong's chuckle turned into a laugh.

"Oh Fae, the day will come... The day will come."

_Diary entry February 8th, 2017 16:45 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Boy cravings and Bad wingmen. Here's why: What have I done future Fae? You know what happened so I'm not even going to write it down. Seunghyun saw me eye fuck everyone at breakfast and that got them all guy_ _hunting for me. None of them could get anyone for me. We got really drunk and then... I feel so guilty towards Seungri. We aren't even a couple. It's horrible being in love. Why did I have to fall for him? It only complicates things. I'm so scared he's going to be mad. What if he's going to hate me? Any advice for me future Fae?... Didn't think so. You are just as stupid as I am. Good afternoon future Fae._

_Diary note 17:00 – Just remembered! Daesung got laid. That's kinda cool..._

_Days left in Korea: 123_


	15. Breaking point and Bombs dropping

"So did you ever get some on Thursday?" Seunghyun asked me as we had settled down at the café a couple of days after the... Incident.

_I guess that's the right word for whatever the fuck happened Thursday._

"Uhm yeah," I nodded

"Was he a good catch?"

"Well... Yes, definitely..." I awkwardly trailed off as I watched Seunghyun's eyes narrow at me.

"Why are you acting strange about it? What happened?"

"I um... I had sex with Jiyong." Seunghyun stared puzzled at me, having obviously missed what I said because I hadn't exactly spoken loudly. He gestured for me to speak up. "I had sex with... With Jiyong." His eyes went wide as an owl and his hand slapped against his mouth that had opened slightly.

"You what?!" He raised his voice. A few people turned their heads.

"Shh... We were shitfaced, okay? I don't think I've ever been that drunk. I felt horrible the day after and I still do," I tried to explain.

"I saw the pictures of you online and I read about the rumours but I thought you just found another bar to look in."

"We were supposed to, but our plans changed."

"You don't say." He stared at me. "Be relieved there are no pictures of you two going inside his flat together."

"Yeah, I know. Damn famous friends. That shit is complicated."

"It's not his fault."

"Never said it was."

"Uhm, Fae."

"Yeah."

"Was he... Good?"

"He's done that before that's for sure. Even when he was that drunk it almost seemed like he wasn't. I felt very clumsy, especially compared to him."

"Of course. You're fucking clumsy when you're sober."

"I tripped once. That does not make me clumsy."

"You are clumsy though."

"Fuck off." We laughed, lightening the tensed mood. I felt my phone vibrate on the small outside café table. It was Daehee. I picked it up.

"Yo yo my cuz Daehee. What. Is. Up?" Seunghyun shook his head at me.

"Just wanted to give you a heads up that I heard the folks talk about wanting to meet your friends. Thought you wanted to know."

"Oh okay. Thanks a lot. I'll check if they're all available tonight maybe."

"Really?"

"Yup. They're ready. I have decided that for them."

"Okay," he laughed and hung up. Seunghyun looked unsure of whether to ask about it or not.

"Yeah... You're all meeting my aunt and uncle tonight."

"Okay. Great. Wait for a second while I jump off a cliff." I leant over the table and punched his arm.

"They're really nice. You'll be okay. Don't be a dick."

"You better tell the others." He gave me a _like-that-is-gonna-go-well_ look. I took my phone from the table and went to our group chat.

Fae bae: Boys. Brace yourselves and suit up! You're properly meeting my aunt and uncle tonight.

GD: They hate me Fae.

Seungri: Been there done that.

Fae bae: Come on.

Taeyang: Sounds like fun. I'd love to meet them.

Fae bae: That's the spirit Youngbae!

Daesung: How come everyone else has a nickname and I'm just Daesung.

_TOP changed Kang Daesung's nickname to 'Just Daesung'_

Just Daesung: Really? -.-

TOP: Yes.

Fae bae: We meet at Seungri's place at six.

Seungri: Why my place?

Fae bae: Because you can't say no to me baby ;) you know that.

Seungri: That's true...

I put my phone back in my pocket and looked up at Seunghyun.

"We have some time to kill. Can I see some of your paintings?"

"Sure." We finished the rest of our drinks and walked to Seunghyun's flat. I walked around, admiring his art, smiling back at him every minute or so. He showed me over to a door that I had assumed was just a closet. I found that it was filled with his paintings and a mess of supplies on the top shelf.

"Wow. Amazing. My sister would love these. She's a sucker for aesthetics. Especially drawings and paintings."

"I draw too."

"Uuuuh, show me." He went to his desk and pulled out a notebook from one of the drawers. He handed it to me. I looked through it. I looked closely at each page. He had a style that returned in every picture. He did a lot of drawings of people. Mostly a girl that I think was the same in every picture. In some, she was drawn as a beautiful happy girl. In others, she was drawn in dark and red colours. It looked melancholic and angry at the same time.

_"It's... It's not mine."_

The sentence hit me again.

"Is she the..." I trailed off.

"Y-yeah." He looked down.

A buzz was heard from the door. Seunghyun hurried out of the room to answer it. I put the drawings away in the meantime. I looked around the walls of his bedroom when I heard the door go. Seunghyun and Jiyong came inside. It was the first time we had seen each other after Thursday.

"Hey Fae," Jiyong smiled and brought me in for a hug to ease the tension. It worked and I brought my hands around his waist. He kissed my cheek before going into Seunghyun's kitchen to find food to devour. I was once again alone with Seunghyun.

"Was she your girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"What was her name?" He didn't answer. He stood with his back facing me, looking out of the window. He took a few deep breaths. Maybe I was going somewhere I shouldn't. I opened my mouth to apologise. The look in his eyes as he turned around was terrifying. He looked at me with anger that didn't seem like normal anger. I took a step back. He looked hungry like I'd imagine a vampire would look, hunting for blood. He walked hastily towards me and I yelled his name in fear as we fell down on his bed. Not much sound made it out as he was holding my neck in a tight grip.

"S-Seung-hyun ple-ease." I managed to let out of my closing throat. I was heaving for air as he tightened his grip slowly around my neck.

"Seunghyun where's the- FAE!" Jiyong yelled and ran over to us. He tried to get Seunghyun off me. Jiyong couldn't compete with Seunghyun's size and strength. He was thrown on the floor. He quickly changed strategy in desperation.

"Seunghyun. Listen to me. It's Fae. You love Fae. Fae saved you from this. This you're doing now is what you're trying to get away from. If Fae is gone you might never get out of this. She's your exit. Don't close your only exit. She loves you with all her heart! SEUNGHYUN! LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING." He was screaming in desperation and I was struggling to get air in my lungs. It seemed as if his grip loosened slightly, but quickly tightened again. "SEUNGHYUN! There's no need for this!" After this Jiyong's voice faded in my ears. My vision blurred. I closed my eyes and let a tear roll down my cheek as I was lying there with no choice but to give in. As I was about to give up the fight I felt air flowing back into my lungs. I heaved in and coughed. I sat up as I kept letting as much air into my lungs as possible. I opened my eyes to see a blurry version of both Seunghyun and Jiyong in tears. Jiyong sat down in front of me and held my hands in his. Seunghyun walked backwards away from me.

"I'm a fucking monster." Seunghyun sat on the floor shaking. I walked over to him but a sudden dizziness made walking a struggle. I reached the wall he had balled himself up against and crouched down in front of him.

"It's okay. You're not a monster. You're just scared," I whispered. I hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder. He was shaking massively. He slowly laid his head down on my hand and held my arm ever so gently like it was the finest piece of glass that could shatter by the slightest bit of pressure.

"What if I had killed you?" Jiyong had sat down next to Seunghyun and put his hand on his other shoulder.

"Don't ask those questions. Just be glad you didn't. We'll be okay. I can promise you that." I moved over to sit down next to Seunghyun. We sat in a row up against a wall, remembering the last time we had done that.

"Thank you Jiyong. Thank you so much for telling me how much Fae means to me." Seunghyun cried and hugged Jiyong. Jiyong patted him on the back.

"It's all good. As long as we're all okay." For a while we sat in silence, staring out at his room just like the day we met Jiyong.

"Fae told me..." Seunghyun began. "That you two had sex."

"Yeah we did," Jiyong chuckled.

"It's kind of funny," Seunghyun smiled.

"Let's get up from the floor now. I need some water." Seunghyun hurried out to get a huge glass for me. "I love you Seunghyun. No matter what," I told him and drank half the glass. We sat down in his living room and a calm mood washed over the room. I knew that the last thing he needed was for me to be scared of him and I wasn't. Even after what had happened I felt safe being with him. To me, he was my big on the outside, small on the inside friend that was a loving but scared person. I couldn't be scared of him.

We spent the afternoon together. We danced around the living room to old jazz records that Seunghyun owned. We left for Seungri's with lots of time to get there. It was a long walk to his part of town but we wanted- needed the air and it was a nice day out.

"Hey boys." I ran into their arms. They all waited at the end of the hall for the three of us.

"You're in a good mood," Seungri pointed out adding a little chuckle at the end.

"Because I'm with all of my lovelies," I explained with a smile.

"You're a babe." Seunghyun ruffled my hair, then entered the flat. "Now you guys need to hear some juicy gossip I got when I had breakfast with Fae." He grinned evilly at me. I didn't stop him instead I looked over at Jiyong with a scared look. "I asked her if she had hooked up with anyone on Thursday..." Seunghyun leant up against the back of the sofa with a smug look on his face. "Guess who she fucking slept with." There was a pause. "She slept with Jiyong." Seunghyun ended. The others looked over at Jiyong and I in shock. I glanced over at Seungri, guilt spreading in my heart. He was fiddling with a pillow on the sofa, his stare fixed on that.

_I wonder..._

Jiyong explained how drunk we were and calmed everyone down. He told them it meant nothing and that we both wanted to move past it. I nodded in agreement but mainly had my attention on Seungri who only glanced up once in a while.

"I wouldn't have done it if I was sober."

"Hey!" Jiyong said, offended by my words.

"Seriously?" I asked looking him dead in the eye.

"Yeah okay..." He trailed off. I looked awkwardly back at Seungri, who was now looking at me too. I wanted to apologise but it would be weird to do so, seeing as we were not a couple. I sent him an apologetic look. I was 95% sure he did catch it. I looked away.

"Ready to meet my aunt and uncle?" I asked, not convincing anyone with my fake happy tone. I wondered if they knew the real reason. Jiyong seemed to know.

"No."

"Great, let's go then!"

"It's great to finally meet you all... Well, of course, I've already met Jiyong and Seungri but it's nicer under less horrifying circumstances," my aunt smiled. She left to help my uncle out in the kitchen. Daehee came out of his room and I ruffled his hair, introducing him to everyone.

"You already know who Daesung is... In a way," I began and pointed to everyone as I said their names.

"Daehee is a real hoot. He can beat me in Mario Kart so..." I ended my introduction.

"Anyone can beat you in Mario Kart Fae. I'm sorry but you suck," Seungri said and they all nodded in agreement, snickering at me.

"One day I'm gonna win. I'm telling you."

"Sure."

"You know what Daehee? Forget all the nice things I said about them they all suck. They're not even my friends."

"Awh Fae don't say that," Jiyong pouted and they all took turns ruffling my hair. I showed them around my home. Only Seunghyun and Seungri had been further than my living room. I showed them my room as the last thing.

"It's very simple here. I had somehow expected pink walls and flowers everywhere." I stared at Jiyong.

"You're serious?"

"Somehow yes," he laughed and as he looked around. While I was talking to Jiyong the others had decided the next activity should be 'Guess Fae's password'.

"You won't get it."

"Have you tried 'ILoveSeungri123'," Jiyong teased. I punched his arm.

"Shut the fuck up," I hissed at him. He pointed his tongue at me.

"I can't get it." Seungri turned around in my chair and pouted at me. I laughed.

"I'm not telling you." I walked over to the desk and stood behind him with my hands on his shoulders. I let my fingers caress the skin on his neck softly.

"You write it then. We want to see what's on it." I laughed but did as I was told. They immediately went to the internet to see if they could find porn on my history.

"Don't you think I'd browse privately," I laughed at them and they gave up. They then went to my pictures. "What do you expect to find?" At this very moment, a picture of me when I was only twelve showed up on the screen. I was posing with my brother and sister on the beach in our bathing suits. I hid behind Seungri. "Nooooo. This was not a good era for me."

"You look cute." Seungri laughed and pulled me up. We made it through too many horrible pictures before we were called to dinner. We went down and sat around the table.

"We were so worried that Fae was getting into something dangerous, but you boys couldn't be dangerous." I was 100% sure that all six of us were laughing our asses off internally.

"They're the best friends you could ever have," I smiled at them. They looked over at me with kind smiles on their faces.

"You've been through some crazy things huh?" My uncle asked looking amused. He found it funny how tense they all were. I did too.

"Yeah it's been pretty intense," Jiyong answered.

"I was impressed to hear she was going on a date with the son of such a huge company as your fathers," my uncle spoke to Seungri.

"It wasn't a date uncle," I said shyly. Seungri discreetly looked at me. I smiled knowingly at him and bit the inside of my lip. He saw. A small smile showed on his lips.

We found ourselves back in my room after dinner. Daesung and Youngbae were hanging out on the bed. At one point Daesung put his hand under my bedside table. I froze.

"What is this?" He pulled out the one thing in my room I didn't care for them seeing.

"Nothing." They saw my expression and knew that it definitely wasn't nothing. They all sat on the bed and opened the first page. "Please no. It's really private." I was genuinely panicking. Seungri looked up at me.

"Maybe we should let it be guys." He closed it and they all looked up at him. Then they looked at me. They understood.

"Thank you," I said and let my back slide down against the wall. They put it back under the table. "I promise you that I will read some to you one day," I chuckled. "But I mean it's just a diary that my family got me when I moved here. I write in it every night. I do a countdown of how long I have left here. I wish I could stay forever."

"I wish you could too. I'm gonna be sad when you go."

"I'll come back. Like I could live without you for any more than a day. I'd go insane without my daily dose of Daesung and Youngbae's mischiefs, Seunghyun and Jiyong's mocking laughter and Seungri's grumpy comments," I said sarcastically.

"You're such an angel," Seungri answered, also with a sarcastic tone. I grinned at him. He smiled warmly back.

"But for real. I love you all and I can't live without you." I put my arms over my head to form a heart.

"Oh please no," Seunghyun laughed and looked away from my sinning.

"I'm honestly sorry," I chuckled.

_Diary entry February 10th 2017 23:45 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Breaking points and Bomb dropping. Here's why: During usual breakfast with Seunghyun I told him about the Jiyong incident a couple of days ago. He reacted as expected but he didn't make it out to be too big of a deal_ _. We went to his place and Jiyong dropped by. Luckily, because Seunghyun lost it. It was the first time. He tried to choke me. Jiyong tried to stop him. He succeeded in the end as you probably know because you're not dead and you were there. I love him just the same. I still remember him standing awkwardly in my bathroom only in his underwear. We spent the afternoon dancing after we had calmed down. We then went to Seungri's to go to my place, which to be honest was a bit of a detour but whatever. Seunghyun told the others about me and Jiyong. Seungri looked sad... I couldn't help but wonder if he cares like I do... If you know what I mean future Fae. They all met my uncle, aunt and cousin. It was funny how tense they were. They almost looked in my diary. What if they had seen all the things I had written. If Seungri had seen the many parts of my diary where it's described how cute he is or how much I wish I could kiss him, I would actually die. Goodnight future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 121_


	16. Baes and Balls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the very long wait. I had exams and then I ended up finishing a few one shots instead of editing this. I also turned 18 so yay adulthood here I come.  
> Anyway, here is a cosy little chapter. I hope to get chapters out more frequently than ever now because my holiday has started.

“My sister just texted me that she wants to skype me. I told her that if she’s cool with having five creepy Korean dudes staring at her then sure I’d love to,” I said loud enough for everyone to hear as we were spread across Seungri's living room and kitchen, everyone hanging around as we usually would. Jiyong and Seunghyun were talking and laughing in the kitchen once in a while having to move out of the way for Youngbae and Daesung running past them playing some game they had recently invented. Seungri would usually be lying on the sofa with his head in my lap and we’d talk about this and that. Often it would end up somewhere really strange or it would turn into low-key flirting that none of us dared to acknowledge out loud.

“That’s nice,” Jiyong said sarcastically from the kitchen.

“I know right. Fae bae at her finest.” I had grown a little too used to the nickname.

“Is she pretty?” Daesung asked cheekily. Youngbae seemed to be interested in finding the answer to this too after having come so far in his discovery of the world he had been missing out on that he was starting to find an interest in dating.

“Very. She’s so cute. Just your type. Yours too Youngbae.” They hurried over to the sofa and Seungri sat up.

“Let’s do it.” I opened up Skype on my phone and called her up.

“Fae!” She smiled at me.

“Hey, Emily, how’s it going back in Scotland? It must be the middle of the night for you.” I spoke in English.

“It's only late evening. Oh, look Korean guys… You weren’t lying.” She raised her eyebrows and let out a huff of air, not quite a laugh. Youngbae and Daesung had peeked at the screen and were now in the shot. “Do you speak English?” She asked them with a full on Scottish accent. Daesung’s English was okay and Youngbae’s was getting better by the day because of his eager thirst for new knowledge. Even so, I was pretty sure Scottish English was a little too advanced for them.

“They do. Some of the others are even better so be careful what you’re saying cause they’re laughing from the kitchen,” I answered looking over at Jiyong and Seunghyun in the kitchen as well as Seungri next to me. “These two just don’t understand thick Scottish accent,” I laughed.

“They’re pretty good looking.” She sent me a certain look that I knew exactly what meant.

“Yeah, they’re pretty good looking… And no we can talk about that stuff when I’m alone,” I answered to the look she had in her eye. I looked over at the kitchen where they were trying to stifle their laughter. I then switched to Korean to introduce everyone to Emily.

“This is Youngbae and this is Daesung.” They both smiled and waved happily. I moved the phone to get Seungri in the shot. He waved and smiled. I walked to the kitchen the three others following me. “In here we have Seunghyun, who paints and draws. This is Jiyong.” I pointed to each person as I told her their name.

“Yo,” Jiyong waved.

“Fae isn’t he famous?” Emily asked in English. Jiyong smirked. He understood perfectly well what she had asked me.

“It’s G-Dragon,” I answered.

“Wow, you’re getting in with the famous crowd.”

“Oh goodness. My friend Seungri here.” I switched back to Korean and stood next to Seungri. He waved awkwardly. I rested my hand on his hip. “I’m in his flat right now and oh my sweet lord it’s luxurious. He has a secret room with a hot tub and a roof that can disappear.”

“That’s it I’m moving to Korea. See you in a few hours.” Emily jerked up from her chair only to sit back down with a grin on her face. “I wish I could, but the real world is calling for me.”

“Must be rough being old.”

“Hey! I’m 23. I’m not old.”

“If you say so.”

“Now Fae, be careful what you’re saying there are three 23-year-olds standing right next to you,” Seunghyun said, giving me his best intimidating stare and a joking smile. I turned to Seungri.

“Help."

“Not with this one.” He stepped away from me with a grin.

“I like your friends Fae. They keep you at bay.”

“Lolzor if you knew how hard I’ve been working with these losers.”

“I’m just gonna stop you for a sec. Did you just say lolzor? I will actually rip your face out of every picture this family owns of you.”

“Harsh.”

“Fae you’re an idiot.”

“I can’t argue against that, but I should go. Duty calls with all these boys waiting for me to take care of them. Look at how helpless they all look.” I turned around to show Emily a kitchen with five boys looking done with my shit. “Yeah I’m positive this is the last time we’ll ever speak. See you in hell, eh?”

“Sure Faella. See you in hell.” I ended the call.

“She’s nice,” Youngbae exclaimed.

“She really is,” I stated.

“Faella?” Seungri asked.

“My family calls me that sometimes. It’s my full first name.”

“I didn’t know that. It’s cute. Not as cute as Fae bae though.” He grinned as wide as he could, lifted me up and spun me around. Jiyong gave me a knowing look. I looked away and down at Seungri, who was looking up at me. He put me down.

“Fae?” Youngbae asked for me. “I need shirts. I’ve been borrowing Daesung’s and Seungri’s for a while. I recently found out that it’s not nice to just accept. I have to be humble. Then I realised I can’t accept for you to buy me shirts, but then I’ll end up without any shirts at all. I’m not sure what to do.”

“Oh Youngbae. It’s okay to accept stuff when people offer. That’s why they offer. Especially when you don’t have any shirts nor money to buy them.” I caressed his cheek with the back of my hand, finding him so precious. “Let’s get you some clothes now,” I smiled and took his hand. “We’ll be back soon.” I waved at the four boys left behind in the kitchen.

We walked a little out of the area. I knew buying clothes here would get me broke. We didn’t have to go far before we found something that looked interesting.

“Let’s look in here.” I looked through the classic button down shirts. This was my time to shine as the fashion guru Fae that I definitely was not. I found a button down shirt that was white with thin black vertical stripes. That seemed nice and simple. I showed it to Youngbae.

“I like it,” Youngbae said and nodded. We found a t-shirt as well and a pair of black jeans seeing as he only had one good pair. He took off his borrowed shirt in the middle of the shop to try on the shirt. A few girls giggled and pointed. I could see why as I looked at his upper body. It seemed that Youngbae following Seungri to the gym out of curiosity had really made a difference. I pulled his shirt back down and took him into the dressing room. I didn’t want him to start undoing his jeans right there. The girls gave me a mean look. I winked cheekily and followed Youngbae into the dressing room. Both shirts were fairly simple, but very nice and suited him well. He looked handsome. The jeans fit him perfectly. They were a little tight, but not to the point where it would be uncomfortable.

“You looked amazing in that,” I said as we exited the dressing room.

“It was very nice. Thank you so much for doing this Fae. You are the best.” He ruffled my hair and I smiled at him. We went to checkouts, paid and left the shop. One of the girls from before came over. They had waited for us outside.

_A little creepy maybe…_

“Hi,” she said acting overly cute.

“Hello,” Youngbae beamed.

“Sooo I saw you inside,” she hinted.

“Oh really? I didn’t notice you at all.” I held in my laughter. He didn’t understand that he had just shot her down completely.

“Oh okay. You looked good though.” Her smile began to fade.

“Thank you.” He once again beamed. Her smile faded a little more. I guessed she had expected a compliment in return. My mouth turned into a thin line, doing my best not to burst out laughing right then and there.

“So is that your girlfriend?” She gestured to me. I raised my eyebrows, looking away from the situation.

“No no, Fae is my friend.” Her smile lifted itself again.

“Did you get some good stuff?”

“Actually Fae got it for me. She’s the best girl in the whole world.” He lifted me up. I couldn’t hold my laughter in anymore. I pretended that I laughed at the surprise of Youngbae’s actions. She looked straight up pissed now.

“Fine then.” She turned and walked away with her friends.

“Why was she suddenly angry?” Youngbae asked me as he set me down.

“I think she was flirting with you. Instead of flirting back you sort of just let her compliment you and told her how great you think I am,” I laughed.

“Oh. You guys have to teach me how to flirt,” he said as we started walking. “It’s hard not understanding people.” I could tell by the look in his eyes, that this was a burden.

“You'll get there and we'll help you.” I kissed his cheek. He smiled down at me.

“You’re quite short now that I think about it.”

“Oh shut up! What do you know.” I playfully punched him and chuckled. “Tiny man,” I mumbled.

“I heard that.” He punched me back before lifting me up bridal style and running down the street with me laughing. We ran straight past the girls from before, making us both laugh harder.

We arrived back just in time to see Daesung’s hardcore dancing session to SHINee songs. We came walking in the door and saw him standing in the middle of the room with everyone looking his way. As soon as the chorus began his dance turned fifty shades of crazy. Youngbae and I dropped everything we had in our hands and joined him. I saw Seungri shaking his head while Jiyong and Seunghyun were laughing their asses off. It got a lot louder now that we were three people to make noise as well as yelling happily at each other. I made eye contact with Seungri and stopped to gesture for him to leave the sane in the kitchen and join the insane in the living room.

He thought.

I pouted.

He gave in.

He took my hand and spun me around. We joined the dancing. When the song ended, we all crashed down on the sofa. I jumped on top of Seungri, who was the first one there.

“Ow Fae!” He whined.

“Don’t be so sensitive.” I bashed his head.

“Says Fae. I’m fucking coming for you.” I got up and ran for my life. I ran around the sofa, into the kitchen past Seunghyun and Jiyong and into Seungri’s bedroom. I sat down behind the bed peeking out. He entered and spotted me instantly.

“God help me,” I spoke in a high-pitched voice.

“You’re in for it now.” He pulled me up on the bed and straddled me. He pinned my hands over my head with one hand and tickled the crap out of me. I wiggled around trying to get out. I also tried lifting myself up, but that just hurt.

“Please stop Seungri. Please,” I begged. He let go after too long. “Oh my god that was horrible.” I sat up with him in my lap. I found his face to be dangerously close to mine. The world stopped for a second as I considered my options. It wasn't very far and I'd would take less than a second to have his lips on mine. I glanced down once more before I grinned and threw him off me. I ran back into the living room. He ran after me. He tackled me on the sofa. Daesung and Youngbae jumped on top of us.

“Ow boys!” I yelled from the bottom of the pile.

“My balls!” Seungri yelled. They got off us quickly at this. “Thank you,” he sighed. He looked like he was in a lot of pain. I snickered at him. “Be careful.” He pointed a finger at me. At this, I ran.

_Diary entry February 26 th 2017 22:30 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Baes and Balls. Here’s why: Fae bae and Youngbae went shopping today. He got a lot of good stuff and a girl tried flirting with him. He didn’t catch that and let her down completely unaware he was doing so. When we got back, we danced to SHINee with Daesung. I even got Seungri to join. Tbh I think I can make him do anything ;D I’m just that charming, right future Fae? I almost kissed him today. I stopped myself though. I’m regretting it a little bit. No… Maybe? Probably… Seungri’s balls had a hard time when Daesung and Youngbae jumped on top of me and Seungri who were in the middle of a tickle war on the couch. I'd give the day 10/10 on the cosy scale. Goodnight future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 105_


	17. Brainy girls and Big reveals

Fae bae: Daesung!

Just Daesung: Fae!

Fae bae: Seungri and I met a girl at that fancy anniversary. I asked her if she was up for meeting a nice guy. She said yes. Whatcha say?

Just Daesung: Really? :D

Fae bae: Really :)

Seungri: She’s nicer than Fae.

Fae bae: STFU Seungri. I’ve got you shook so don’t even bother.

TOP: Get in there Daesung ;)

Fae bae: I’ll bring her to your place this afternoon if that’s okay. <3

GD: Seunghyun I’m seeing you there, right?

TOP: Like I’m gonna miss that.

Taeyang: I think you broke Daesung. He’s running back and forth in the flat screaming.

I looked through my drawers and found my old ruby red t-shirt. I had written ‘The White Stripes’ on the back with a black marker. I put it on and found some loose high waist trousers with vertical black and white stripes on them. I ate a quick breakfast and brushed my teeth. I put on my black worn out boots and my brown vintage jacket.

I was meeting Sunhee in the lobby of Seungri’s father’s company. She was visiting her dad and it seemed the most convenient to just come pick her up. After leaving home I released I was going into Mr Lee’s company building looking like a late sixties hippie. I stopped for a second, wondering if I should go back to change. I shrugged my shoulders and kept walking.

_Fuck it. I’m rolling with it._

I smiled at the staring security guards, rushing past their gazes. It looked different without all the tables and the big stage. The receptionists all eyed me from across the round room. I found a wall to rest my back on as I waited for Sunhee.

“Fae?”

_That’s not Sunhee’s voice._

I looked up to see Mr Lee standing in front of me in a black suit and with his usual big smile on his face.

“Hello Mr Lee,” I smiled awkwardly, bowing my head shortly.

“What brings you here? Is Seungri here?”

“Oh no no. I’m here for Sunhee. She’s the daughter of the 8th-floor department leader.” I kept my smile bright.

“Ah yes. Mr Choi,” Mr Lee nodded. There was a short pause. “Now that I have you here can I just tell you how glad I am that Seungri has you. Ever since he’s had you he has become so much brighter. We were so worried for him. He cares a lot about you,” he smiled warmly.

“I can’t have made him that happy. It probably has to do with his friends too.” I blushed.

“I think you’ve done more than you think, and I have seen the way he looks at you. There is no mistaking. He is very much in love with you,” he told me with a hand on my shoulder. I nodded shyly. “I better get going then. I’m a busy man. Have a good day sweet Fae.”

“Good day sir.” I bowed again and smiled brightly. He chuckled.

_That's worth a thought._

Soon after my unexpected meeting with Mr Lee, Sunhee came down. She looked so sweet in her flowery t-shirt. I gave her a quick hug.

“It’s wonderful to see you again,” I exclaimed.

“You too.” She smiled warmly. “I’m a little nervous though,” she confessed and looked down at the ground.

“No need for that.” I put my arm over her shoulder. “They’re the sweetest boys. Especially the boy I have picked out for you.” We walked out of the building and towards Seungri’s. “He lives with Seungri and another one of our friends. We have two other friends who will probably be there but they don’t live there.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of people.”

“They’re very chill. It’s gonna be fine. G-Dragon is one of them by the way,” I chuckled, not quite knowing why.

“That’s cool.” She looked shocked at me for being able to say all this as if it was the most normal thing in the world. To me it was. We soon arrived at the building. I got out the borrowed keys and opened the door. I briefed her as we walked down the hall.

“One last thing. The boy I thought out for you is Daesung. You’ll recognise him on the long fringe.” I told her, stopping in front of the door. She gave me a firm nod and I unlocked the door. We walked inside. I spotted everyone before Seungri brought me into a hug.

“Good to see you again,” he smiled at Sunhee as he let go of me.

“It’s good to see you too,” she said and adjusted her glasses. Seungri looked back at me.

“You look stunning today,” he told me as I took off my jacket. “Very fresh.”

“Thanks, babe,” I joked. “You too.” I made eye contact with Daesung, who was looking nervous. I gestured for him to come forward.

“Hi, I’m Daesung.” He did a 90-degree bow for her and she giggled.

“I’m Sunhee. Nice to meet you.” Daesung smiled at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. The others introduced themselves and Daesung said he would show her around. I made eye contact with Seungri.

“Can I have a word?”

“Sure Fae bae.” He put his arm around my shoulder and we walked into the kitchen, away from the others.

“I met your dad today,” I said and sat up on the kitchen counter. He sat next to me.

“Did he say something embarrassing?”

“I don’t know if you think it is, but he told me that after you met me you had become a lot happier. He also said I meant more to you than I thought and that he could tell by the way you looked at me that you loved me a lot.”

“We’ll I have become much happier since I met you. You really brighten up my life. You do mean a lot to me and-”

“Fae you haven’t even said hi to us,” Jiyong came into the kitchen, interrupting our talk.

“You poor things huh?” I gave him a death stare. I went on a round of hugs. Soon Daesung and Sunhee came back.

“Wow it’s a nice place you have here Seungri,” she complimented.

“Thanks. I did nothing myself but yeah,” he chuckled. I put my head on his shoulder.

“You two are very cute.”

“Oh, you don’t know!” I exclaimed. “We’re not together. Never were. He used to have a girlfriend and now I’m his pretend girlfriend. It’s complicated.” I chuckled at how absurd it sounded and put my head back on Seungri’s shoulder.

“You do a very convincing job then. Kudos to you,” she giggled. Daesung smiled at her, probably finding her cute like that.

“Told you people fell for it Jiyong.” I pointed a finger at him.

“Never doubted that. You act like a couple even when you’re not supposed to.” He held in a laugh, looking over at Seunghyun, who was doing the same. I flicked them off.

“I have something I wanted to ask you Jiyong. Remember when I had sex with Zico in a bathroom?”

“Won’t ever forget that,” he laughed.

“I told you I wanted to snog him and you said that you knew he’d be up for it… My question is now. Have you snogged Zico?” There was a long pause and everyone looked at him. He slowly nodded. I stood up on the kitchen counter. “Really? You gotta tell me there’s more. Please tell me there’s more!” I sat back down. Everyone was looking at him again.

“Might have… had him… Suck me off.” We all had a laughing fit. “And I might have… Returned the favour.” My eyes widened and I went to hug him.

“I love you for that. It’s cool. I respect it,” I said when I had finally stopped laughing. “Sorry for reacting so strongly. It’s just that the whole rapping scene is not very gay on the outside.”

“Believe me. When rappers party together a lot of weird shit happens,” he said and cracked a smile at me. Everyone in the room felt a little special to have gotten such insider knowledge.

“I’m so happy to hear that to be honest.”

“Now,” Seungri started. “Let’s go out and eat.” We all went out to get our jackets and shoes.

We walked down the street filling up the pavement. Sunhee and Daesung seemed to be enjoying each other’s company a lot. I looked up at Seungri’s scared face as he had grabbed my hand very suddenly.

“That’s my ex.”

“Seungri’s girlfriend mode on,” I said and hooked my arm in his. I stopped him on the road and kissed his forehead. She was coming closer and had spotted us. “I’m gonna kiss you now,” I whispered so only he could hear and he nodded. I hooked my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. I felt everything again. My whole body felt electric. From the tips of my toes to the top of my head. He shuffled his arms awkwardly around me. We stopped just as she was walking by us.

“Hi, Seunghyun.” She stopped and spoke in a monotone voice, very obviously pretending like she didn’t care. Her eyes revealed the jealousy.

“Oh, hi.” He sounded genuinely surprised. He didn’t have that _hello-bitch-I-knew-you-were-there-I-ignored-you-on-purpose-and-tried-to-make-you-jealous_ tone. “How are you doing with that guy?”

“It’s going so good. Never been better.” She was obviously lying.

“Me too! It’s good to hear we’re both doing well.” He put a hand on my hip. “This is my girlfriend Fae.”

“Hi. Good to meet you,” I smiled. I tried being as genuine as possible.

“You’ve sunk low haven’t you.” She chuckled confidently. His face suddenly went serious.

“Says you. I’m standing here with the sweetest and most beautiful girl in the world and you say I’ve sunk low. I did once. With you, but Fae... She’s higher than I ever thought I could reach. I pity you for having to say that to make yourself feel good. I bet you’re annoyed that I’m doing so well when your own life didn’t exactly turn out how you wanted.” I blushed and held back a smile. He pulled me closer and turned to walk. “Let’s go get something to eat,” he said to everyone. We walked away, leaving her glued to the spot in surprise. Everyone was looking at Seungri and me.

“Okay, so what just happened?” Seunghyun asked looking mind blown.

“First you kissed, like **really** kissed, then you whooped your ex’s ass. Damn.” Jiyong smirked at me and I looked away.

“I don’t know if it was from the kiss or from scolding my ex-girlfriend but I’m feeling amazing,” he whispered in my ear as the others were trying to understand what the fuck just happened.

“I am too… I know it was just acting, but what you said made me very happy.”

“I might have been acting, but I meant every line of the script. Proud to say I wrote it myself.” He kissed my temple. I leant on him as we walked the rest of the way to the restaurant. We were soon inside and seated by a table.

“I’m still mind blown. That kiss was so real!” Jiyong said and the others eagerly agreed.

“Well it’s actually not the first time,” I said and looked at Seungri’s hand in mine under the table.

“Excuse me, what?” Jiyong asked looking like nothing in the world made sense anymore.

“After the party. We stood in the elevator and it just kind of happened twice-”

“Twice!?” All the boys said in unison. Sunhee was observing.

“Then we came home to Daesung who was scared so we sat with him until he fell asleep and then we kissed a third time…” Seungri trailed off.

“You kissed that night?” Daesung looked like he had seen a ghost.

“It’s no big deal. We had decided to stay pretend boyfriend and girlfriend for the rest of that night because we had a little too much wine,” I added. “It didn’t happen again afterwards until now. Your reactions are worse than when Jiyong and I had sex. What is up with your priorities?”

“It’s just because you two are different. It’s different when it’s you two who kiss,” Youngbae jumped in. “You know what I mean?” He asked the others. They nodded.

“Can I suggest a theory?” Sunhee asked, adjusting her glasses that had slid down her nose. Everyone’s attention turned to her, awaiting what she would say next. “I think the reason that everyone is reacting so strongly and the reason that their love seemed so real when they pretended to be a couple is that… It is,” she said casually, but still with thought.

_Don’t blush Fae. It will only give you away._

There was silence. They were all looking around at each other. Seungri and I were both looking down at our entwined hands. I took a deep breath and looked up at his face. Our eyes met. It was as if a million words were lying behind the look in his eyes. As if I knew that he wanted me too. As if I knew that I had popped into his head at times that seemed so inappropriate too. As if I knew that he had longed for me in his arms at night too. As if I knew everything he felt because I felt it too and I was sure he could tell from the look in my eyes too.

“Ready to order?” The waiter asked and our bubble was burst. We ordered and the topic was changed.

Daesung later took a walk alone with Sunhee. They were really hitting it off. I walked back to Seungri’s place with Youngbae, Seungri, Seunghyun and Jiyong.

“What a day,” I sighed. “And it’s not even over.” I took off my shoes and threw myself on the sofa. “I’m taking a nap.”

“Use my bed then. It’s not like I’m using it right now.” Seungri shot me a warm smile.

“It’s not like you would mind if he was,” Seunghyun muttered. Youngbae and Jiyong snickered. I glared at them.

“I’m too tired to think of snazzy comebacks so I’m just gonna sleep. See ya later bitches.” I walked into Seungri’s bedroom with him. He stood by the door and watched me lie down.

“Need anything?” He asked me with a smile.

“It’s okay. It’s just nice to be lying in a bed,” I smiled back at him and cuddled into the sheets. He chuckled and walked over to me.

“Is there any time you want me to wake you up?” He asked and crouched down beside the bed.

“If I’m still sleeping at four give me a little push. Thank you.” I wrapped the duvet even more around me.

“Okay. I will.” He caressed my hair and walked out of the room.

 “Fae. It’s four o’clock.” Seungri was gently caressing my cheek. My eyes fluttered open.

“Hey.” I sent him a sleepy smile and stretched. “I don’t wanna get up,” I yawned.

“If you fall asleep again you won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

“I know, I know.” I sat up slowly. “I need to pee. I don’t have the strength to stand up. Carry me.” I lifted up my arms waiting for him to lift me. He chuckled but did as I had commanded. He carried me out to the toilet.

“You’ll have to take it from here.” He put me down and walked out of the room. I emptied my bladder and washed my hands. I wondered if it would be okay for me to take a shower here. I needed a little kick to wake me up. I went into the kitchen and looked around. Seungri and I were the only ones in the whole kitchen/living room area.

“Are we home alone?” I asked him. He nodded. “Can I borrow your shower?” I smiled sweetly.

“Of course. Let me just find you a towel.” He found a big towel for me and left the bathroom. I stepped in and let the warm water relax my whole body. My mind kept going to Seungri and how our eyes had met and everything we felt was revealed. I bit my lip when I thought about his touch on my skin. The way he would sometimes grab my arm and I would feel a spark inside me, or when we hugged tight enough and I let myself believe I could feel what was underneath his trousers. I leant up against the shower wall and let the train of thoughts take me wherever it wanted me. I stayed as quiet as possible as did what my body wanted me to do. It didn’t take long before I was biting my lip and feeling somewhat disappointed when I knew I could get it a thousand times better if I just walked into the kitchen and manned up. I got out of the shower and wrapped myself in the towel. I dried myself and put on my clothes. I walked back into the kitchen.

“Hi again,” I beamed. He beamed right back at me.

"Fae bae," he spoke sweetly "You look fresh.” I sat on the kitchen counter. He walked in front of me and planted his palms on each side of me with a lazy smile that sent a warm feeling rushing through me.

“What are we having for dinner?” I put my arms around his neck, smiling back at him.

“Whatever you want. You are our queen. Whatever you want, you get.”

“Cheeky.” I ruffled his hair. “Have I ever told you how nice your hair is?”

“Nope.”

“It’s amazing. You look so good with it. Even when I mess with it. I bet your sex hair is cute as fuck,” I grinned.

“Only one way to find out.” I hit his arm playfully.

_Diary entry March 4 th 2017 23:15 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Brainy Girls and Big reveals. Here’s why:  Today a lot of things happened. I met Mr Lee, who kindly let me know that it's obvious how much Seungri loves me. Seungri almost got to comment on it when I told him but got interrupted by Jiyong (damn you), we met Seungri’s ex so I kissed him, he put her in place and complimented me while doing so (he really shouldn’t boost my ego like that). Sunhee and Daesung seemed to be getting on and Sunhee suggested that the reason everyone freaked out about seeing me and Seungri kiss and that we had done it before was because we love each other and everyone knows that. We had a moment, which is the important bit of this diary entry so listen carefully future Fae. We looked into each other’s eyes when Sunhee had said that, it was as if everything we felt was said with our eyes. I always thought that ‘saying it with the eyes’ was bullshit, but I guess not. I know and he knows, yet no one is doing anything about it. He was so sweet to me the rest of the day as well. I wanted a nap. He told me I could sleep in his bed. I wanted to take a shower. He found a towel for me and told me I looked fresh afterwards… Oh yeah… I… Thought… About him in the shower today… You know what I mean dirty minded future Fae. You haven’t changed there… To conclude: I love him. He loves me. We both know this. No one is doing anything. I’m so sad. I’m so nervous. I wish I could just man up. Why can I do so much but not this? :( goodnight future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 99 (down to two digits...)_


	18. Backtracking and Being childish

“I don’t get you Fae. You both know you have strong feelings for each other and yet you tell me you can’t confront him.” Daesung was frustrated with me.

“It is a little weird,” Youngbae added.

“I know,” I frowned. Youngbae put his arm around me.

“He loves you, Fae,” Daesung smiled at me.

“I know,” I grinned. The two of them could always get me smiling, even at times like this. “Argh!” I was ripping out my hair and laughing at the same time. Daesung pulled me closer, hugging me tightly.

“Oh, Fae bae.”

“Thanks for taking a walk with me.”

“We love being with you, and Light needed a walk anyway.”

“Let’s go to the junkyard.” I looked at Youngbae.

“It’s been a while. Sure,” Youngbae shrugged. Daesung was excited to see it. We had never thought of going back there since Youngbae moved in with Seungri and it somehow seemed like a good time right now. The sun was high in the sky and Youngbae had come so far since then. “Light. Home,” Youngbae said and Light jumped and got excited. He knew where Youngbae meant. As we walked, I tried to ask Daesung about Sunhee.

“She’s very nice,” Daesung blushed.

“You’re blushing,” I grinned. “You like her.” I hooked my arm in his.

“It’s so obvious,” Youngbae chuckled.

“How many dates have you been on so far?” I asked him still grinning.

“Two.”

“Kissed yet?” I asked him and bit my lip.

“Only on the cheek.” He blushed.

“It seemed like she likes you too,” I said and Youngbae nodded.

“I hope she does.”

“She does.”

“We’re almost there.” Daesung looked around as we took a left turn, going in between the mountains of metal.

“When you said junkyard you really did mean junkyard huh?” Daesung asked. Youngbae nodded. Light was jumping and trying to get Youngbae to go faster. He released Light so he could run. Light ran as quick as his small legs would let him. We turned the corner to where the caravan was. Some of the writing was still there. Youngbae sat down on the ground with Light next to him. Daesung walked around as I had done the first time I saw the place.

“Did you live in there?” Daesung asked pointing at the caravan. Youngbae once again nodded. Daesung looked inside. There wasn’t much in there now that he had moved.

“You okay there Youngbae?” I asked sitting next to him.

“Just a little overwhelmed.” A tear fell down his cheek. It was the first time I had seen him cry. I put my arm around him and he rested his head on my shoulder. I played with a lock of his hair as we watched Daesung explore. “Thank you so much Fae.” He wiped away the tears.

“No problem.” I pulled him closer. “I’m glad to have you.” He shuffled down so he was lying on the ground with his head in my lap and looking up at me.

“Seungri is a lucky guy.” We chuckled.

“I love you Youngbae. Adorable little ball of happiness.” I ruffled his hair. He smiled brightly and laughed a short happy laugh.

“I love you too Fae bae.” He closed his eyes and let the spring sun warm him up. “There’s a playlist,” he began. “On Seungri’s computer. It’s about you.”

“How do you know that?” I asked as Daesung sat down next to us.

“Because it’s called ‘for you’ who else could that be?” He asked opening his eyes to look up at me.

“Ah, the playlist,” Daesung smirked. “Yeah, it’s for you Fae.”

“What’s on it?” I asked curiously.

“A bunch of love songs,” Daesung said, shrugging his shoulders.

“I remember one,” Youngbae said. “It’s ‘TV in Black & White’. The first song on there.” He looked up at me as I blushed. I knew that song.

“Living without you is like TV in black and white. You turned me on and brought colour into my life. When I’m around suddenly I realise that I was blind before I saw the world through your eyes,” I quoted, realising how literal that was.

“That’s very sweet,” Daesung grinned, making me smile too. My phone buzzed and I slid it out of my pocket the best I could without disturbing Youngbae, who was peacefully lying in my lap.

“Speaking of the devil,” I commented.

Seungri: Hey Fae bae. My dad just invited us to dinner at their house next week. Can you help me out again? I’ll make it up to you.

Fae bae: Of course I will :) it’s kinda fun.

Seungri: Thank youuu! You’re a real hero <3

“I’m playing his girlfriend again.” I put my head in my hands. “This is so silly,” I laughed at how absurd it all was.

“Oh my god!” Daesung yelled and threw his head back. “Do something about this Faella!” He yelled.

“Don’t Faella me!” I laughed and raised a finger at him.

“I’m serious Fae. Do something.”

“I will, I will.” He hugged me. “Love is stupid.”

“In this case, you can’t blame it on love. It’s you and Seungri who are being stupid here.” He clapped my shoulder and laughed at me. “Let’s get going.”

“What do you wanna do?”

“How about we look through my clothes to find something for dinner with Seungri’s parents.” They cheered and we all went to my place.

“Hello, Fae.” My uncle looked up from his paper and smiled at me. “Youngbae. Daesung… Light.” He nodded at them. They nodded back except for Light, who walked right in the heels of his owner as he did when he was tired. We walked to my room.

“Can we pick whatever we want?” Daesung asked beaming at me. I nodded. They started looking through all of my clothes. I sat down on my bed looking at them hard at work.

“This with this?” Youngbae asked.

“Hmm. Keep the trousers but add this top instead,” Daesung said picking up a shirt he had looked at before.

“You two should become fashion designers,” I chuckled at them.

“Darling try this on.” Daesung stepped into character changing his posture and voice. Youngbae mimicked him. They left the room as I changed and came back when I told them to. “Wow darling you look just fab,” Daesung said, still in his character. Youngbae was walking around me caressing his face as if he was considering. He nodded.

“I like it.”

“Me too,” Daesung said and put his arm over Youngbae’s shoulder. I went to look in the mirror. I looked nice. I was wearing a white silk button down shirt and my fanciest trousers. They were high waist and navy blue with thin white stripes down them.

“Simple and nice.” I nodded. “Thank you, boys.” They beamed at me.

“No problem Fae bae,” Daesung said going back into his normal five-year-old self.

_Diary entry March 19 th 2017 22:00 – Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Backtracking and Being childish. Here’s why: For once I had a pretty chilled out day. I was out with Daesung, Youngbae and Light. They find it ridiculous that Seungri and I still haven’t confessed to each other. I can see where they’re coming from. We walked to Youngbae’s old home, where I saw him cry for the first time while Daesung was exploring. Oh, also, I think I should try acting as a career. Seungri asked me to act as his girlfriend again for dinner at his parents’ house. I agree completely with Daesung when he says that it’s getting ridiculous. What am I doing future Fae? Will it get any better in the future? Invent the time machine and let me know. Goodnight future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 84_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not many chapters left now...


	19. Blessings and Back to Basics

“Are you sure the two of you are just friends?” I nodded tiredly at my aunt’s question, showing her that the question wasn’t exactly new to me. “Oh well, tell me when you two finally confess to each other.”

_Even my aunt now? This is getting ridiculous. Fae man up. You’re going home in a few months._

“I should go now.” I waved as I left the flat. I walked down the stairs in my outfit, carefully chosen by Youngbae and Daesung. Seungri stood by his car waiting. A smile spread on both of our faces as we spotted each other.

“Hey you. Adorable outfit,” he complimented as we both got into the car.

“You look beautiful Seungri.” He let out a scoff, then a chuckle.

“Thanks, Fae bae… I need to warn you,” he began. “You’ve met my mum. She seems nice, I know, but she’s a little more uptight than my dad. I think she likes you. I wanted to let you know, but just speak the truth if they ask you questions. You don’t have to lie to them.”

“Okay. Thank you Seungri,” I smiled and squeezed his hand for a moment before Seungri drove us to his parents’ house.

“Here we are,” Seungri said as we drove up to a golden gate. The gate opened as Seungri had waved his hand out of the car. We drove up in front of the enormous house.

“Wow. This is huge. Did you grow up here?” I asked in complete awe as Seungri stopped the car. We sat there for a few short moments as I let the size of the building sink in and the whole idea of meeting his parents for longer than just a quick greeting and a few words here and there.

“Yeah, I know it’s a little much.” We stepped out of the car. I walked around the car and took a hold of his arm. We were greeted by servants, housekeepers and Mr Lee by the door. They all knew Seungri. He and Mr Lee both spoke informally to them and they spoke informally to the two. I bowed quickly and smiled at them before I was brought into a hug by Mr Lee.

“You speak informally with them.”

“My dad and I both do when no one else is around. My mother and most other people we surround ourselves with don’t accept that you can be friends with your housekeeping.” I nodded as he spoke. His father smiled proudly at Seungri.

We were lead through the house by an old man that Seungri informed me was the main servant that had been here for many years. We turned and walked into the dining room. It was huge and everything looked like something that would keep me in debt for the rest of my life if I broke.

“There you are,” Mrs Lee smiled at us. She pinched Seungri’s cheek and then kissed it. She gave me a light hug and a smile.

“Good to meet you both again,” I spoke up. Seungri took a hold of my arm again. I gladly held onto his tightly.

“Oh it’s always a pleasure to see you Fae,” Mr Lee chuckled. He was such a nice man. This was probably why Seungri hadn’t turned into one of those snobs who thought they were better than everyone else.

“You too, Mr Lee.”

“Oh, my dear please do call me Jaehyuk.” I smiled at him, loving how easy it was to become friendly with him. “Take a seat. Dinner will be served quite soon.” Seungri and I sat next to each other, opposite Mr and Mrs Lee.

“Do remind me. Where is it that you work?” His mother asked smiling.

“I clean a few floors of an office building with two other people.”

“Oh. I don’t think I knew that.” Her smile turned stiff and I felt Seungri’s comforting hand placed itself on my thigh.

“Neither did I. Is it nice?” His father asked me sincerely.

“Yes, it is. I enjoy it very much and I have made some great friends from it as well,” I informed. Jaehyuk smiled and nodded whilst Mrs Lee seemed a little colder than before. Dinner was then served. We ate and Mrs Lee asked me a few questions about my background and so on. I was very honest.

“Only my mother is Korean. My father is Scottish.”

“What sort of jobs do they have?”

“My mother is a writer and my father does drawings for comic books.” She didn’t reply to this.

“I always wanted to draw for comic books when I was a little boy. You father must enjoy it a lot,” Jaehyuk said, still smiling warmly.

“He does,” I smiled as I remembered the smiling face of my father, feeling somewhat excited to see him again soon even if I’d be missing my five boys like hell.

We finished dinner and Seungri decided to show me around the house before we went into the living room for evening tea that Jaehyuk had been very eager to tell me about.

“Oh my god your mum hates me,” I said when we had entered Seungri’s old bedroom.

“She’s having a hard time accepting it I think, but it could have been a lot worse. If I had dragged my ex-girlfriend here she would have had a fit.” He pulled me in for a hug that I accepted without any hesitation.

“Don’t let go ever,” I whispered into his shoulder. He chuckled and kissed my hair.

“It’ll be okay.”

“I know. At least your dad seems to like me. He’s really nice.”

“He is and he does like you a lot,” Seungri comforted me.

“I like your old room.” My words were muffled from having buried myself in his neck.

“Thanks. It used to be more interesting. Now all my consoles and stuff are at my new place.”

“We should play soon. Mortal Kombat. I used to play with my ex-boyfriend all the time… I sucked.”

“That’s no surprise.” He chuckled and pulled away. I pulled him back. “Are you gonna be okay with staying for tea? We can make up an excuse and leave if you want to.” He stroked my hair.

“I can do this. Fae fighting.”

“Fae fighting.” We pulled away and he took my hand. “Let’s get back down.” We walked down the stairs and into the living room. It was probably the biggest room in the house. We sat down on the sofa and Seungri continued to hold onto my hand, which soothed me.

“So Fae. I made sure to get a hold of some quality British tea so you could feel at home here,” Jaehyuk said and, like always, smiled warmly at me. He was such a happy man, which I admired a lot.

“Wow, thank you.”

“Now, I’m not sure if I picked the right tea, but you can be the judge of that.”

“Okay. I’m a professional when it comes to tea drinking, so I’m excited for this,” I beamed. Mrs Lee stayed silent. The tea was served and I got the first cup. I thanked the man who served it. I let it sit on the table for a bit because I never put milk in and it looked very hot. Jaehyuk anticipated my reaction as I finally brought the cup to my lips and tasted the tea.

“Mmmh, a favourite of mine. White Temple, I believe. It is very clearly a quality brand. I have quite the experience with both supermarket quality and specialist quality tea. It’s easy to tell this is one of the better ones,” I stated. Seungri looked impressed as he discovered a talent of mine that he never knew existed. “Was it expensive?”

“Not too much. White Temple is not an expensive tea usually, but for a white temple tea then indeed it was.” I nodded as he spoke. “I’m impressed with your knowledge. I see I have found myself a fellow tea lover.”

“You have. I love tea, all sorts.”

“Oh, we need to discuss this further some day when we have more time,” he exclaimed happily. Mrs Lee looked a little bitter. She took a sip of the tea.

“I don’t care much for you.” Mrs Lee said and scrunched up her nose.

“But darling, it’s a classic! Try with a pinch of sugar. That might help.” He tried to convince her. I looked at Seungri, who was looking at me. He looked amused and so did I. We finished our tea and decided it was time to go home. We said goodbye and went out to the car. As soon as we got in, I turned into jelly in my seat, slouching down in it. A long sigh exited my mouth.

“That was fun, but man was it exhausting.” I leant up against the window on the car.

“I agree. My mum is a little uptight, but she’s a lot better than others. I mean she wouldn’t have married my dad if she didn’t have a little bit of crazy in her.”

“That makes sense,” I laughed. “Your dad is amazing. I’ve found a tea buddy.”

“Ah yes. I can’t wait to see what happens with that… You going home or to our place?” He asked. I slept at Seungri’s place half the time. I had practically taken up one of the extra rooms. Some of my clothes were there and I had gotten a toothbrush with my name on it too.

“Your place.”

“How’d it go?” Daesung asked. Seunghyun and Jiyong were both here too.

“Well, his dad looooves me, but his mum can’t stand me.”

“It’s always like that,” Jiyong said. “What threw her off?”

“That I clean for a living and then that my parents both have creative jobs.” I opened the fridge and took out the rest of the smoothie I had made for them the day before. I poured it into a glass and downed it. I wiped my mouth.

“Sexy,” Seunghyun said. The irony was clear in his voice.

“I know right. How wouldn’t you want to get with this?” I did a few badass body rolls before going into the spare room to change. I came back soon after in my oversized t-shirt and night shorts. I went to brush my teeth. Everyone watched me in silence as I went back and forth from the kitchen to my room and then from my room to the bathroom and back again. Just as I was about to go into my room to dive into bed, I looked at the five boys who were all staring back at me. “What?” I asked in a monotone voice.

“You going to sleep already?” Seunghyun asked.

“Yup. Goodnight boys.”

“Aww, Fae bae. We wanna hang out with you.”

“Tomorrow. Goodnight boys,” I repeated.

“Okay. What the queen wants the queen gets.”

“Oh shut up.” I couldn’t help but crack a small smile.

“You’re so pretty when you smile did we ever tell you that?” Daesung asked.

“I think so… What’s going on with you though? You’re all acting weird.”

“We just love you.”

“… Okay, I’ll stay up for a little while longer.” I smiled and they all cheered. “I hate that your tricks work.”

“It might be tricks, but it’s still true. We do love you and you are pretty,” Youngbae said and I pinched his cheek.

We stayed up for quite a while. Seunghyun and Jiyong stayed as well, sharing the last bedroom. After a few hours, the only people up were myself and Youngbae.

“I was wondering something,” I said breaking the silence.

“Yes?”

“You haven’t ever had a romantic relationship with anyone?”

“No.”

“And you haven’t even kissed anyone before?”

“Once but I was a kid.”

“Do you wish you had?”

“Sometimes. It’s strange for me because I don’t really understand the way you do, but I do want to be kissed properly.” He furrowed his eyebrows in frustration and I brought a hand to his shoulder.

“It will happen. You’re a sweet guy and you really bring the mood up wherever you go with your light mood.”

“Thanks, Fae. You are a great friend.”

“You are too. Come in for a hug,” I embraced him in a big hug and kissed his forehead.

“Can you find a girl for me?”

“I can give it a go.”

“How about that sister you have?”

“Oh shut up.” I let go of him and chuckled at the idea. He wore a cheeky smile. “Actually not such a bad idea,” I winked. “Let’s see,” I nodded and we decided to go to bed.

“Goodnight Fae bae.”

“Goodnight my little beam of sunlight.”

 _Diary entry April 3 rd  2017 23:00 –_ _Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Blessings and Back to Basics. Here’s why: I had the best tea yesterday. Apparently, Seungri’s dad did his best to find a good tea for our visit. He’s a sweet man and I hope for me and Seungri to be able to be able to tell them the truth soon but that probably won’t happen till we are actual boyfriend and girlfriend. His mum did not give me her blessings like his dad did but that’s okay. She’ll realise there’s a charming side to Fae someday, right future Fae? You’d probably know. That is if we end up with Seungri, of course. Crossing my fingers. Youngbae is probably gonna end up dating my sister. It seems like a good fit the more I think about it. I hope that can work out somehow. It’s really gonna be back to basics with him though. Sweet Youngbae :) Goodnight future Fae._

_Days left in Korea: 69_


	20. Blurred lines and Bout time

“We’re gonna miss you when you’re gone,” Amber told me as we walked towards Seunghyun’s place. They had insisted on walking me there.

“I’m gonna miss you guys too, but I’ll come back. I’ll make sure to keep in touch with both of you,” I smiled at my two great co-workers. “If I come back I’ll try to get the job back too. They told me to come back so I might actually be able to.”

“What do you mean ‘if’,” Amber nudged.

“I’ll most likely be back,” I smiled down at my feet. This was too great of a place for me to leave behind.

“Let’s enjoy the time we have left and then we can anticipate your arrival,” Hyunwoo said and threw his arms around both of us, squeezing us half to death.

“I love working with you,” I smiled. “I’ll talk to them and see if I can get it back when I move here for good.”

“You’re really gonna?” Hyunwoo smiled as I had changed if out with when.

“That’s what I’m planning on doing. I love this city.” I stopped in front of Seunghyun’s door and rang the doorbell. “Here we are. Thanks for following me all the way.” I waved goodbye as I was buzzed into the building. Seunghyun stood by the door waiting for me in the bathrobe I had found him in almost a year ago now. I grinned widely and ran into his arms.

“Morning Fae bae.” He put his arms around me as I jumped on him.

“Morning.” I planted my feet back on the floor. “Don’t you look handsome in that old thing?” I grinned.

“I was just about to change.” He gestured for me to come inside. I sat on his bed and watched him change out of his bathrobe into a dark blue sweater, black trousers and black shoes. He threw on a black leather jacket and we walked out the door.

“Leather jackets really work well for you,” I complimented as we sat at the café drinking coffee and eating sandwiches.

“You could work a good heavy leather jacket pretty well too,” he nodded as after giving me an examining stare.

“Been there done that and yes it looks amazing.” I stuck my tongue out and grinned.

“I bet… Now speaking of looking amazing. Have you seen the pictures of us with Jiyong floating 'round the internet?”

“How could I miss it?” I chuckled. “And we do look fucking good in those pictures. I must say,” I nodded, impressed with the boys and myself. “It’s a little weird though. My mum texted me a picture of me from the internet captioned: ‘Good to see you’re enjoying Seoul.’ She even put a little winky face at the end.”

“Please tell me it’s the one where you’re practically lying on Seungri,” he laughed.

“Yeah… It was that picture.” I cringed and put my face in my hands. Seunghyun continued to laugh.

_“Can I ride in one of those shopping carts again?” I asked as we walked past some that had been abandoned._

_“Of course.” Jiyong hurried over to grab one. Seungri lifted me up in the meantime to put me down in it. He accidentally fell into it with me on top. He was whining in pain and I was laughing my ass off. He tried to get up, which resulted in me slipping and falling completely into the cart. Seungri’s legs were sticking out of the top. Youngbae and Daesung took a hold of the cart and started rolling it down the street. Seunghyun had taken another one and was pushing Jiyong next to us. Unlike us, he was sitting comfortably._

_“MY LEGS!” Seungri whined. I tried to get off him so he could get his legs free, which was not an easy task considering the fact that we were all drunk and the cart was moving._

“It was pretty funny.”

“It really was. Seungri told me that he still has bruises from it,” I snickered before taking a sip of my coffee.

“Wonder if people will recognise us on the street after that,” Seunghyun smirked as he shared his thought.

“I doubt it. They only see Jiyong in those pictures.”

“You’re probably right.”

After finishing our breakfast, we took our usual walk to Seungri’s place since none of us had much else to do than hang out with each other. On our way, we passed a girl who was very obviously staring at us. I smiled at her as we walked by, a little freaked out by the look in her eyes.

“You’re friends of G-Dragon," we heard from behind us.

“I guess I was wrong,” I mumbled to Seunghyun. A short chuckle left his mouth. We turned to speak to the girl.

“Yes, we are,” Seunghyun spoke kindly to the girl. The smug smile he had plastered on his face told me that he was enjoying this to no end.

“Wow, that’s so cool! Hi,” she beamed.

“Hello,” we said in unison.

“Can you tell Jiyong oppa that I love him?”

“Yes, of course.” We smiled at her and bowed quickly. We turned around and walked to Seungri’s place.

“Jiyong oppa,” I snickered thirty seconds later as we turned a corner. He cracked up. “We have to call him that when we see him.” I continued to laugh. We soon reached the building.

“Hey guys,” Daesung yelled from the other end of the hall. We smiled and waved. Light came running when he saw us.

“Light.” I sat down and patted his head. As I stood back up I spotted Youngbae and Jiyong on the sofa making me turn my head to meet Seunghyun's knowing gaze. We smirked at each other before running to the sofa.

“JIYONG OPPA!” We fangirled as we ran and jumped, squealing after each word we said. He turned to look at us with a surprised expression.

“What the hell?” He asked as we stood jumping up and down in front of him.

“WE CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S ACTUALLY JIYONG OPPA!” Seunghyun yelled.

“Explanation please.” We laughed it off, composing ourselves.

“We met a girl on our way here who recognised us from those photos with the shopping carts. She told us to tell Jiyong oppa that she loves him,” I reported.

“Oh, that’s sweet,” he smiled.

“She seemed very nice,” I nodded. “Hi by the way,” I chuckled and greeted both Youngbae and Jiyong with a hug. “Where’s Seungri?”

“Only thing you seem to be interested in these days,” Jiyong mumbled and all four boys tried holding back their laughs.

“I hate you all,” I said and turned my head away from them. At this moment, Seungri came out of the bathroom in tight black jeans, no shirt on and wet hair. I held in every sound that my body impulsively wanted me to let out. I discretely gulped and sent him a small smile. I did my very best not to stare too hard. Just a few glances here and there… He came over to greet us. As he wrapped his arms around me I hid my face in the curve of his neck and bit the inside of my lip.

“Hello Fae bae.” I responded by squeezing him a little tighter because words weren’t gonna happen right now.

_Damn his skin is so nice._

“I’ll just put on a shirt and come back,” he said after giving Seunghyun a quick hug. He left the room. The room went quiet until the moment the door to Seungri’s bedroom had shut behind him.

“Oh my god, you’re thirsty as fuck!” Jiyong whisper-shouted to me.

“Talk to him about this!” Seunghyun said. Everyone else nodded. Daesung and Youngbae took a hold of my shoulders and pushed me towards his room, knocked on the door and hurried away. He opened and smiled at me. I looked over at the others, who were all giving me eyes. I looked back at him and smiled, then walked inside.

“What’s up Fae?” He asked and sat down on the bed next to me.

“Nothing… Um, I just wondered if your parents said anything after the dinner. I kept forgetting to ask you. I was just curious, you know, since your mum maybe didn’t like me too much,” I smiled nervously.

“Well she’s not saying anything, but I can tell she isn’t too fond of the idea of… You. The fact that she is holding back her criticism is a good sign though. It means she wants to like you. Then there’s my dad. He keeps talking about inviting you back for tea,” Seungri chuckled and my smile turned comfortable.

“Good to hear.” I got up again to leave. “Thank you, Seungri,” I sighed at the door. He sent me a sympathetic smile.

"Hey Fae," he began, standing up from the bed.  _That tone._  "You've done so much for a broken fool like me... I just wanted to thank you. You made it feel so easy to trust. I appreciate it." I walked back to him and brought him in for a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around me and sighed longingly into my hair. I bit my lip as I nuzzled myself into the skin of his chest. "Sometimes I really think that you are our guardian angel."

"I'll always protect you." I let go of him and walked back to the door, leaving the room with a sigh.

“You didn’t do it,” Daesung sighed as he saw me come back out.

“Nope,” I said dumping myself down in a chair.

“Oh my god, Fae!” Jiyong shook my shoulders.

“He was still shirtless and it was throwing me off and I just…” I trailed off looking away. Seungri came back.

“Want to have a Mortal Kombat tournament?”

“Most certainly!” Daesung excitedly jumped off the sofa. We all hurried into Seungri’s room. We played for hours. When the first tournament had been played and Seungri ended up as the winner, we began a new one. This time its was Just Dance.

_Oh, the horror._

“I will destroy you, Fae!” Daesung yelled as he got ready next to me. I won, but only just. In the final, it was Seunghyun, who had surprised everyone with how good he was. Seunghyun won. We stopped playing because we were all exhausted and hungry. We decided to cook together.

“First time I cooked in this kitchen I got wet flour in my hair,” I said as I was watching over the stove.

“That was the funniest!” Daesung laughed. He was sitting on the kitchen counter with Youngbae because there wasn’t much left to do.

“You put flour in our hair too,” Seungri argued.

“Not wet flour!” I flicked his arm.

“Be careful or I’ll do it again.” He laughed and put his arm around me.

“You better not,” I laughed with him.

“I know she’s cute but you’re supposed to deck the table Seungri,” Seunghyun said to him with a chuckle.

“Sorryyyy,” he said as he went to get the plates. Daesung and Youngbae helped him out. The dinner was soon ready. We ate like there was no tomorrow. Afterwards, we all sat with our hands on our stomachs, feeling good. We talked for a good while, forgetting the world around us. I looked at the time. It had somehow turned 1:30 am without any of us noticing.

“I should probably go home.” I got up and went to find my jacket and shoes. They all got up to say goodbye to me. First Daesung and Youngbae with a group hug, then Seunghyun, Jiyong and lastly Seungri. As I hugged him, I looked over his shoulder at Jiyong.

“Do it,” he mouthed. I let go of Seungri and waved goodbye. I hurried into the elevator. I put my head in my hands.

“Fuck you Fae. Do something. Man up. You’ve done so many things that were a lot riskier. Why can’t you just do this too?” As the tears slipped from my eyes I realised exactly why I had stopped myself from going further than playful jokes and a few kisses. Seungri was fragile. He had been hurt before. I could easily hurt him without even knowing. I was too careless for him. I was afraid it would end tragically somewhere down the road. I left the building, still crying. It had started raining. A lot. “Thanks weather for making this like a cheesy drama. That really wasn’t needed!” I shouted. No one was around and I needed to vent my sudden overflow of feelings. I put my jacket over my head and jogged across the road.

“Fae wait!”

_Seungri._

I turned around to find Seungri running across the street, holding an umbrella. He held it over both of us. Tears were still quietly falling down my face. He looked pained as he noticed. He probably thought it was his fault.

“You know, I… I heard this story about a couple who met on a rainy night in Seoul like this one. A rich and handsome guy was wandering the streets when he saw… The most beautiful girl walking alone with her jacket over her head. He hurried to her, put his umbrella over her head and he followed her all the way home.”

“Are you sure that’s not just a rumour going around in your part of town? I heard that the real story goes: This badass girl was out shopping groceries and she saw a couple breaking up. She went to ask the beautiful, but lonely and broken guy if he was okay. He followed her home and asked for her number.”

“I was trying to be romantic Fae.”

“I know. It was incredibly cheesy but that’s what we do best anyway.” I took the umbrella out of his hand and let it drop to the ground. Both of my hands moved up to his face as I gently pushed my lips against his. He slowly slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. I locked my arms around his neck. Our lips moved together in a way they hadn’t before. Everything was out and none of us held back with anything. It was as if all the muscles in my body had been tensed up for several months and now I could finally relax. As we stood there getting lost in each other, we heard loud cheering from the other side of the road that made our lips part. Daesung, Youngbae, Jiyong and Seunghyun were standing under umbrellas, wooing and shouting happily. They were waving and smiling at us. We laughed as we looked back at each other. I grabbed his collar and pulled him back onto my lips. I felt the rain soak every bit of my clothes and I pulled away once again.

“It might have been acting when I said I loved you that time, but I meant every line of the script. Proud to say I wrote it myself,” I told him with a grin.

“Ah, I see what you did there. Can’t you even think of your own cheesy lines?” He raised his eyebrows and grinned back.

“But yours are so incredibly cheesy. How could I possibly top that?”

“That’s true.” He kissed my forehead and looked down at me.

“That took a fucking while!” Jiyong yelled from the other side of the street. I flicked him off.

“Rude!” Seunghyun yelled. I chuckled, keeping my eyes on Seungri’s face. He was beaming much like myself.

“You still going home? You can stay the night if you want. You’re allowed into the master bedroom.” He winked and I hit his arm.

“You fuck.” I put my arm around his waist and he threw an arm over my shoulder. We walked back across the road.

“We better get back in before we all get colds, especially you two,” Seunghyun said and pointed at Seungri and me, who were completely soaked from head to toe. We stood in the elevator shivering in our wet clothes. Our four dry friends stood around us, chuckling.

“I’m glad I keep clothes here,” I said as the elevator door opened. We hurried to the door and opened it. I went into the room I used to sleep in when I was sleeping over. I took the extra set of clothes I had and threw off the cold, wet clothes I had on before. I put the dry clothes on. We hung the wet clothes to dry in the, still weird, hot tub room.

“This is what I usually use this room for,” Seungri confessed as we hung up the clothes on strings.

“Says a lot,” I chuckled. I put the last piece of clothes on the string. My underwear. “Oh yeah, Seungri…” I trailed off awkwardly.

“Yes?” He beamed at me.

“I don’t have extra underwear here and I don’t really feel like wearing these.” I pointed to the dripping underwear on the string.

“Understandable…” He chuckled. “Since I was responsible for soaking your underwear I’ll let you borrow a pair of mine,” he smirked at his dirty joke or whatever the fuck that was.

“Oh my god, Seungri I will actually slap you,” I laughed. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me.

“I love you too,” he smirked and left the room. Moments later, he returned with a pair of his boxers and left me alone to change. I got changed quickly and hurried into Seungri’s huge bed. It was the nicest bed I had ever slept in. Seungri chuckled as I walked past him and attacked the bed. He sat down with his back up against the headboard. I sat up next to him, put my head on his shoulder and slipped my hand into his.

“Thanks for coming out after me,” I sighed with a smile. Seungri turned his head towards me, so I did the same. He crashed his lips onto mine. He put my lower lip between his teeth and pulled gently on it, which made an involuntary moan leave my mouth. Seungri let go of my lip and grinned. I pressed my lips back on his. This time I slipped my tongue in with a sneaky move. It took him by surprise with this move, giving me the upper hand. I slipped my hand under his loose shirt and all the way up to his chest, making him raise his eyebrows and pull away.

“You’re surprisingly slick for being a Fae.”

“A Fae,” I snorted. “I’m the master of kissing… And fucking,” I bragged with a cocky look in my eyes. I threw one leg over him so I was straddling him.

“I don’t believe you… Should I ask Jiyong?”

“No, I was drunk then. That doesn’t count, and that time he did all the work, to be honest.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Well if you doubt me, why don’t you see for yourself?”

Diary entry April 27th 2017 14:30   –  _Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Blurred lines and Bout time. Here’s why: Last night I realised something that I’ve honestly known all along but I’m stupid enough to overlook. I never confessed to Seungri because he’s still scarred from his previous relationship and I’m afraid that I’ll ruin everything with my careless mind. It’s great having him as my boyfriend (which by the way happened I’m still trying to comprehend. (Lil side note: Oh boy, is he good in bed >.>)) but I still fear that I’ll fuck it up. I love him so much >.< I can’t fuck it up! I’d hate myself forever. For now, I’ll just enjoy that he’s mine. _

_Diary note: 22:45 - Seungri told me that I'm their guardian angel. Guardian angels leave for good when their humans are happy... Suddenly the title isn't as fun anymore but I'll come back..._

_...Right?_

_Days left in Korea: 45_


	21. Bumps and Bruises

_Yesterday Kwon Jiyong, better known as G-Dragon was spotted on a night out with his friends. There’s nothing wrong with that, right? Well actually…_

_G-Dragon was spotted on a night out with his friends. That, in itself, is fairly innocent but his friends and he were later spotted getting into a fight. Multiple unknown sources have reported that men approached them but G-Dragon was the one to engage in the fight. We have yet to find out if this is true. Neither G-Dragon nor his company, have made any statements on the matter yet. We will update you as more information is given._

_Here are the pictures snapped of the fight:_

“Shit!” I put a hand to my mouth and thanked my cousin for showing me this before I ran out of his room, grabbed my coat and ran as quickly as I could to Jiyong’s place. I did my best to dodge the people I ran by on the street. They all gave me strange or wondering looks as I ran past them. I took a couple of seconds to catch my breath before ringing the doorbell. No answer. I rang it again.

“Sheesh let me wake up, who’s this?”

“Fae. Open up quickly,” I breathed out. My voice was panicked enough for him to shut up and buzz me in.

“Good morning Fae bae.” He was standing by the door yawning. I put my phone in his face. He adjusted his eyes and read. His eyes widened. “Shit. One second.” He ran into his room. “Yeah, my manager called. Fuck.” He looked at me as if I had some sort of answer as to what he should do.

“Don’t look at me I’m not used to these situations.” I shrugged. “But why don’t you call him back… I’ll make you breakfast in the meantime.” I gestured towards the kitchen.

“That’s probably a good idea. Thanks, Fae.” He gave me a quick hug before calling up his manager. I went into the kitchen to make him some breakfast. He needed the energy today. I had just found the rice when I could feel my phone ringing in my pocket. Seungri was calling me.

“Hey, my cute little pretty panda prince,” I said, smiling.

“Hey, babe.” I could hear that he was smiling too. “What was that for?”

“Not sure but it was kinda cringy… Now tell me why you called panda prince.”

“Have you seen the articles?” The tone changed and so did the mood.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “I’m at Jiyong’s. I hurried over here. He’s currently speaking to his manager. I’m making him some breakfast cause he’ll probably need some energy. I have a feeling it’s going to be a tiring day.”

“Oh… Well looks like it… Need help?”

“No, I think we’re good.”

“Too bad cause we’re on our way to the car. Seunghyun is coming too.” I sighed at this, but let them. We said our goodbyes and hung up. Jiyong was speaking on the phone for a long time. I had almost finished his breakfast when Seunghyun rang the doorbell. I answered it and let him in. Soon after the others came as well. I brought the breakfast to Jiyong. He mouthed a thank you, as he was still speaking on the phone. We all sat down and looked at him as he ate and spoke.

“I know that. Yeah well, I told you before that’s not how it happened.”

There was a pause. He stuffed his mouth with food.

“I’m just as clueless as you are.”

Another pause.

“Okay. Fine. I’ll wait here.” He hung up. We all looked at him for answers. “I’m being picked up.”

“What do we do?” Seunghyun asked. He seemed to be the one most worried for Jiyong.

Dairy entry May 12th 23:30 - _Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Bumps and Bruises. Here’s why: We were in the news today because of that fight the other day. Jiyong told me they were some old gang members, who were still hung up on him leaving. Fucking hoes. Anyway… We’ve been spending all day together locked in his flat because his manager ordered him to lie low while the company would come up with some excuse. We ordered food to the door and spent all day playing games and watching random comedy shows. It was one of those days that are worth remembering because despite the circumstances we spent the day laughing and smiling._

_Days left in Korea: 30 …Woah, one month left._


	22. Bleak Boys and Burning tears

“I can’t believe you’re leaving tonight.” Seungri hugged me tightly. We had gone up on the roof of his building for a bit of privacy. I stared blankly out at the city. It had been a hard week for everyone. Daesung and Youngbae would barely leave my side, Seunghyun and mine's breakfasts were dragged out longer, Jiyong was clearly drinking more, Seungri held me tighter than ever and I walked around with a horrible feeling in my stomach all week. I had not been able to smile as much and my diary entries had a clear undertone of sadness and desperation.

“I’ll come back as quick as I can.” I gripped the fabric of his jacket and leant my head on his chest. It was so frustrating for me that I couldn’t express how I felt. The words for how I was feeling just didn’t exist. I needed to tell how much I would miss them, but it was impossible.

“I need to ask you something,” Seungri said in a low voice.

“Shoot.” I gripped tighter onto his jacket and looked up into his nervous eyes.

“When you come back to Korea… Would you maybe consider… Moving in?” He rested a hand on my hip.

“I’d love to.” I snuggled my head into the crook of his neck.

“I love you Fae bae.” He pulled away from me a little so he could look at me.

“I love you too Seungri.” I took his hand and we went back down to the flat. Jiyong had arrived now. He looked like he had been drinking a tad too much. “Not again.” I looked up at Seungri and frowned.

“Hi Fae,” he smiled.

“Jiyong.” I walked to him and hugged him. “Please stop drinking. I don’t think I’ve seen you sober once all week. I want to have the sober Jiyong around before I lea-”

“Don’t leave Fae. If I stop drinking will you stay?” He put both hands on my face and held it tightly. His glossy eyes made it unbearable for me to look at him.

“I can’t do that but I’ll come back as soon as I can. Please stop drinking.”

“I’ll keep him at my place and make sure he keeps clean for a while.” Seunghyun stepped up to us and put a hand on my shoulder. I sent him a thankful look accompanied by a sad smile.

“Thanks, Seunghyun.” Jiyong was still holding my face, so I looked and sounded a bit funny.

“Fae, I will miss you being crazy with us!” Daesung told me, standing next to Jiyong looking at my face being squished.

“And at the same time taking care of us!” Youngbae added also joining the crowd of people looking at me.

“Uhm Jiyong…” I trailed off as everyone, now also Seungri, were standing looking at me. I put a hand on one of his and pulled it off my face. “Thanks,” I smiled and reassured him that I would be back home and that he was going to do just fine without me. “You all have each other. Don’t be so sad!” I was worried but I did my best to stay strong for them. If I started crying they’d break completely. I was supposed to be the strong one.

“But you’re Fae. That’s what makes it different.” Seunghyun told me with an arm over Jiyong’s shoulder.

“I am positive I will miss all you too. My Big Bang boys… Why don’t you make me proud and form a band while I’m gone? Make some good songs and get all famous,” I joked.

Seungri scoffed. “Our first single should be called Loser,” Seungri snorted. He was grumpier than usual and now the self-pity was kicking in.

“I’m a loser, loner. A coward who pretends to be tough,” Jiyong muttered.

“Wow, that’s good.” Seunghyun looked at Jiyong. “Did you just think of that?” Jiyong nodded. A hint of his _no-fucks-are-given_ attitude from when I first met him came back.

“You’re good with lyrics,” Daesung complimented. Youngbae nodded eagerly.

“That was nothing,” Jiyong snorted and walked over to the sofa, which he then threw himself in and almost fell onto the floor.

“Oh, boys. I’m gonna miss my little losers.” I smiled a sad smile. Seungri went straight in for a hug.

As I stepped out of the car, my heart sank even further than it already had. We walked into the airport together. Everyone carried a bit of my luggage as if they were clinging onto the last bit of me. It must have looked weird from the outside. Six people walking close, fighting back some tough ass tears whilst clinging to luggage like it was their most precious belonging.

 “It’s now isn’t it?” Daesung asked as they had followed me as far as they could. I had just said goodbye to my aunt, uncle and cousin. They spectated as I stood in front of the row of five teary boys, some even sobbing slightly.

“I think it is.” I took a deep breath as a tear slid unwillingly down my cheek. I tried to stay strong for them. It would be even harder for them if I cried too. They needed me to be strong when they couldn’t. I was honestly so scared to leave them to themselves. Even so, I was positive the two Seunghyuns were capable of taking care of the two kids and the drunken uncle. Now Jiyong was staying at Seunghyun’s flat for a while, so no one was sleeping in an empty house. I wiped away my tear.

“You’re gonna be okay back in Scotland, right?”

“Of course, it’s my hometown. I know how to get around,” I smiled at Seungri, who looked worried. “Nothing to worry about,” I reassured with a hand on his arm. He nodded at me, tears visible in his eyes.

“You’re gonna apply for citizenship here, right?” Seunghyun asked, sniffing.

“I will. I don’t know exactly how long it will take, but I will keep you updated.”

“I hope you get it soon,” Youngbae said quietly. He had gone back to his quiet, introverted self these past few days. Even Daesung was less cheerful. It broke my heart to leave them and it broke my heart to see them so dependent on me, although I was positive that it would get better after a week or so.

“I-” My voice cracked. A few tears escaped my eyes. “I really don’t want to go.” The tears would not stop falling. I put my face in my hands as I stood there feeling small in the middle of the airport. Within a few seconds, I could feel Seungri’s arms holding me tight. I took in his scent, doing my best to remember it.

_As if I could forget._

“We’ll see you soon,” he choked up and he too started crying. Soon everyone joined the hug. We stood there, sniffing and sobbing. They let go one by one and stood back in the line they had been in before. I walked over to Jiyong.

“Jiyong. You’re the actual coolest. I’m gonna miss being drunk with you but please promise me to drink less than you do now. I hate to see you this miserable. Go write some songs about me and email them to me, okay?” I smiled. “I love you.” I kissed his forehead and gave him a long hug. I moved on to Seunghyun.

“You,” I began and ruffled his oddly erect hair. “My work days wouldn’t be nearly as great without our breakfasts. I’m gonna miss those mornings so much. There’s nothing better than catching up on gossip with you. I love you.” I repeated the kiss on the forehead and the hug. A tear fell down my cheek.

“I made you a drawing,” he choked and handed me a piece of paper. I folded it out to find a drawing of me sitting on Seunghyun’s back shouting G-Dragon lyrics together with Seungri. Daesung and Youngbae were dancing and Seunghyun and Jiyong were laughing at us. A scene I would never quite forget. I looked back up at Seunghyun.

“Thank you Seunghyun. It’s beautiful.” I squeezed his hand and moved on to Youngbae.

“I’m so proud of you, Youngbae. I’ve loved seeing how far you’ve come. Every day when I see your smile, it reminds me of how I took your hand and bought you a burger. It makes me feel so warm inside. Please never stop smiling. You have a lot to smile about. I love you, Youngbae.” I also kissed him on the forehead and hugged him tightly. It was so hard to let go.

“Daesung, crazy fringe boy. You’re the happiest and most carefree person I’ve ever met. I really admire that, especially considering what you’ve been through. When you smile it’s hard not to smile back at you. Your enthusiasm about everything is something you should always hold on to. It’s impossible not to smile when you’re excited. I love you.” I could see tears rolling down his cheeks from behind his fringe. I pushed it away to kiss his forehead and hugged him. Then went to do the hardest goodbye of them all.

“Seungri. You… You’re you. Ever since I first met you I’ve loved how down to earth you were. Even if you have more money than all of us put together you’re still so humble and relaxed. You’re a little grumpy sometimes but somehow you manage to make it charming. Somehow you managed to make me feel things I’ve never felt before. I have no words for how much you mean to me and I’m just gonna collapse on the floor if I try to explain it, so I’ll just go with a simple I love you because I really do.” I crashed my lips onto his and wrapped my arms tightly around him. We stayed like this for a while. The tears were streaming down our cheeks. When the kiss ended unwillingly, I put my hands on his face and wiped away the tears.

“B-be quick,” Seungri stuttered. I nodded only once but firmly. “Don’t leave forever just because you completed your mission.”

“I hope we see each other before too long, and maybe you should speak to that private teacher you told me about. Get some knowledge in that brain of yours while I’m gone,” I winked as happily as I could. It was hard to be cheerful. “I… Should leave but I’m no typical guardian angel so I will see you soon again Big Bang.” I took a deep breath before doing a 90-degree bow and a salute. I turned on my heel and walked away. More tears fell. I didn’t care about the stares because there was no home without Big Bang by my side…

_Goodbye._

_Dairy entry June 11 th, 2017 (on a plane time zones are fucking me up but it’s definitely late) - Dear future Fae. This diary entry will have the title Bleak Boys and Burning tears. Here’s why: That was probably the hardest goodbye I’ve ever had to say. I already miss them to no end. As soon as I get off this plane I’m going to send them a sweet message in the group chat. I couldn’t bear the looks on their faces as I said goodbye. I had seen them all cry before but never like that. Never that hard. To think that with everything they’ve been through, what hurt them the most was saying goodbye to me. They’re all crazy but it’s a good kind of crazy. I hope they take good care of each other. I know they will._

_Goodnight for the last time future Fae. It’s been a fun ride._

_Days left in Korea: None…_


	23. Back in Scotland and Bringing the Boys (Teaser)

It had been almost 200 days since I left Korea. I downed the rest of my tea and put my plate in the dishwasher. A thing I had deeply missed while in Korea was the British breakfast. I lived for sausages and beans. I went upstairs to brush my teeth, walking past my sister who gave me a strange look of excitement.

“What?”

“I’m just so happy today. Maybe it’s the Christmas spirit taking over me,” she sang, skipping down the stairs. I brushed my teeth and washed my mouth when the doorbell rang. I was on my way down in my fluffy pyjamas as my sister opened the door. From where I stood on the staircase I saw nothing but five sets of feet. I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard a familiar voice speak.

“Is Fae bae home?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This teaser means that there will be a second book. It won’t be as long but it’ll be very fluffy, I can promise you that. I hope you will take the time to read it.
> 
> Thank you for reading Loser book one.


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